


island of fools

by egress



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Courtship, Deaths, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like really slow, M/M, Prince!Peter, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Wade Centric, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug, Wade just wants to make peter laugh and happy and all smiley, kingdom au, more like, suitors, talks of suicide and death so please read with caution, too much tv show quotes someone needs to stop me, wade wilson needs a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-09 05:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 70,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7789081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egress/pseuds/egress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They said whoever stepped foot on the island would easily become a fool.</p><p>Wade’s first job at SHIELD is to go undercover, and find out why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. island of missions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooo, this fic is back, it's on Wade’s perspective, and Peter isn't killing people. No one's killing anyone, I promise. But there is an antagonist, that I won't be revealing until it's time.
> 
> This is a redo, I won't be speeding it up, I won't be dumping a bunch of info all at once, Peter isn't hurting people. Wade is discoving the things on the island, and who the antagonist is the same as you guys are. Let's all go pray that I won't fuck this one up
> 
> [White box]
> 
> {Yellow box}

There were always a lot of things going on inside of Wade’s head. There's never that one second that nothing is going on in there. 

He could be thinking about puppies, about dinosaurs, about movies he's watched, about boys, girls -anyone he's found attractive, about the end of the world, maybe some ways to cheat his healing factor and just die already.

Anything, really.

Sometimes it's an advantage, like, when he doesn't want to think about a certain topic, he could just get distracted easily.

But sometimes, he really hates it. One second he's happy, one second he's going to put a bullet through his brain, it being a result of his overthinking.

But right now. He hates it because he can't focus.

“-I'm done.” Phil rubs his hands on his tired face, and sharply exhales, as he turns back and starts to walk out of the room.

{Wait. What was he saying again? We did something wrong, he's mad.}

[You idiots, he was explaining our first mission for like, the third time now, and you still weren't listening and now he's mad, and he's gonna say some shit we always hear, like why the hell did they even think we were capable of doing something good for once.]

Before the white box could continue more, and somehow end up with the crippling self loathing talk, Wade stood abruptly, almost breaking the chair from the force and ran to the very frustrated and exhausted agent. “Wait! Mr, Phil, sir!”

“It's not Mr. Phil - ah! I don't even care anymore. If you can't even focus on listening to what I'm assigning you to do, then I'm not going to send you out there and mess things up even more-”

Wade dramatically fell to his knees, and whined. “What am I going to tell my mother?! {Our mother's dead} Just one last briefing, I'll focus so hard my brain explodes this time! Pinky swear! And you can keep my pinky if I break my promise!”

[This is not how you convince someone. We look like an idiot. And this definitely looks sad, even for us.]

Wade brushed off the thought. This wasn't that bad, he's had moments where he totally looked sad and desperate. This? This is nothing.

“I am not going to go over this again! I've already elaborated it to you thoroughly for thirty damned minutes. I have things to do.” The agent went silent and stared at the wall for a few seconds before sighing. “Underwood!” He called for the intern who was seated, buried in paperwork. The intern looked up at the call of his name. “Give Wade the information he needs on his first mission. If you have to repeat it to him over and over, even if it would take you for a whole day, do it. We need him on this mission.” The agent demanded sternly, and left with his shoulders still tensed.

{Poor guy, wonder how many crazed ex mercenaries are begging him to give them a job.}

“Wait, oh - oh oh oh oh oh,” Wade gasps, turning his head to stare at the intern who was still seated. “Are you guys just as desperate as I am?”

The intern, Underwood, as the agent had addressed, shrugs. “I guess so, I've heard them talking about this island and arguing a lot.” Underwood shuffled some files around his desk, and glancing up at Wade a few times while speaking and reading files. “The island is called Dyr, and there's a prince named.. uh.. Peter.” He paused to reach up, and push his glasses towards his face. “At first we didn't really care that much, but one of our interns, Randy, went there, and wanted to court the prince - I mean, who wouldn't, if the prince liked you, you could get married and be showered with money, power -- but anyway. After a few days in, our intern killed himself.. there were witnesses and everything, people watched the guy slit his own throat, there were even security tapes and all.”

The lenses of Wade’s mask widen as his eyes did the same under the mask. He sat properly on the floor, and continued to listen, trying all his might to focus.

[Don't think about unicorns. Don't think about the rat under Underwood’s table. Don't think about the suspicious stain on Underwood’s table. Don't think about Underwood’s glasses and how they keep sliding off. Hah, cute. Don't think about Underwood.]

{Fuck, now I'm thinking about Underwood. What's his first name? We don't wanna be yelling his last name, that'd be very awkward. It's like, calling his whole family if we do that.}

“Shut up shut up!” The intern stopped talking and glanced at Wade. “Not you, wait, yes you too, I wasn't listening. Uhm, give me a few seconds, please.” Underwood nodded in understanding, leaning back in his chair.

Clutching his eyes closed, he took deep breaths to calm himself down. 

He needs to not fuck this up. He told Daredevil, he told a really lot of people that he could change for the better. That he could stop being a mercenary that just kills people who deserve some unaliving, for a couple of bucks, maybe not a couple, a shit load of bucks.

He told himself, that he wanted change, that he needed change. 

When he's not wearing his mask, people are either disgusted by his face, or they pity him. But most of all, people avoid him.

When he is wearing his mask, people - mostly heroes, (as they are the only few of the people who aren't scared of him) treat him like shit. He doesn't blame them, he's obnoxious, loud, childish, a huge stupid idiot, annoying, and certainly a huge waste of air. And as for the other pile of people, once they see him, they're scared and they run away from him. (He does kills some criminals, heroes around New York always get mad at him for that. What, he just got rid of one criminal, and he didn't ask for any money, what more do they want from him? Did they want to be the one to catch the criminal so they could go to the Fury guy, and tell him how they did a good job today? Did they want to be the one to send baddies to jail? Sometimes Wade thinks that, but he knows that they're just mad at him for killing someone. “You don't get to decide who dies!” Wade first heard if from Daredevil. He hears it everyday, it's almost like his daily alarm clock.)

And he did try to stop. He told Daredevil that he wanted to change, and oh what a great guy he was, he let Wade come along to his nightly patrols around the city. 

He held himself back so much. He's killed so many people, he feels like he's designed to kill people who deserve it. All his punches, gunshots, and the slices of his katana, are all designed to kill.

Holding himself back wasn't as easy as he thought it would be.

The first few patrols with the devil had him maiming some baddies, aiming his guns at kneecaps, anywhere that wouldn't cause instant death. Daredevil didn't give him a lot of shit for that, the guy knew he was trying very hard.

And just one specific night. Matt - Wade is very good at being a mercenary, knowing someone's identity is no big deal, yet he respected the devil's identity, because he respected the man behind the mask. It was actually the devil himself who told Wade his identity because Matt himself started to trust Wade. Told Wade that he trusted him, and that he was proud at how far Wade has come in the year they have been patrolling the streets of New York. 

He praised Wade. He called Wade his friend. He trusted Wade.

When Wade went home that night, he went to sleep happy. 

If he could get Matt to trust him, to show the blind lawyer that he could change, maybe.. Just maybe, he could prove to himself and a few more people that he can change, that he isn't all that bad. 

If doing good things, and not killing people, rewarded him with a good friend like Matt, being respected by Matt. Then Wade would've done all this a while ago.

Maybe then. He could be a good father for Ellie. Even if he did go back, he still wouldn't be a good father. What kind of father ditches their own kid? 

“Deadpool? Do you want me to call you an ambulance?” Underwood was kneeling in front of him, worry written all over his face.

Wade snickers at the mention of ambulance. “Nah, no need kid. You could run a buncha ambulance over me, and I still won't need one!”

The intern laughs and shakes his head. “I was a bit worried, you were just staring at the floor and you were hyperventilating, I thought you were gonna have an anxiety attack.”

“Anxiety attack? Me? Never.” The masked man waved the intern off. “You can continue with giving me the details now. I'm all ears.”

{Don't think about us as one giant ear. Don't think about a bunch of small ears sewn all over our body. Don't think about ears.}

Taking a deep breath, and gulping once, Wade pushed the voices to the back of his head, even if it was impossible, and stood to walk over the intern’s desk. “So what ya got here?” He asked, pointing to Underwood’s pile of files.

“Yes, uhm.” Underwood stalked back to his desk, and sat on his chair. “When Randy died, one of our agents went there, and asked some questions, she wanted to know why Randy killed himself in the middle of the day.” Wade nodded, letting the intern know that he's keeping up. “And erm… our agent also killed herself two days after, she used her own gun.” Underwood swallows, he took deep breaths as he opens a few files to show Wade the agent's files, and the photos of the scene after.

“How are you sure that she killed herself and she wasn't killed by someone from that island?”

“We asked the workers there for security tapes, and..” Underwood then lifted his hand to his mouse, clicking on files from his computer. “We have video evidence… Do you want to see?”

Wade grabbed another chair, and sat on it beside the intern. “Nah, I believe you. Just continue.”

Wade wanted to throw a party to congratulate himself for handling this well.

The other male nods, turning back to the files on his desk. “By now, everyone who knows of this are very suspicious. Like, why would they just kill themselves? Why did they do that? Did they want to do that? Did someone threaten them? Is there something there that makes them want to kill themselves? Is there a mutant there that's causing all of this?” The intern continued listing off his theories, not once did Wade interrupt, he's a good boy today. “We didn't send another agent, even though there are volunteers, we just couldn't risk another death… But then agent Coulson remembered that you asked him for a job before, and now, you're here.”

“Because if anything happens to me, no one would feel bad or would be sad?”

“What? No! No! Definitely not!... well, come to think of it, most people here do hate you, so erm, I'm not really sure if they think that.” Wade snorted, and leaned back in his chair. “Sorry. I didn't mean it like that-”

{Oh my god is he gonna start crying?}

[Stop him before he does. People would think we hurt him or something.]

“I know, please don't start crying. They asked me because I can't stay dead.” Wade tilted his head to the side, stopping himself from saying out loud how he knows that they wanted him on the mission because no one would be worried if anything bad happened to him. Because really, who would?

“Erm, yes, right.” Underwood cleared his throat, and continued. “You'll be using this com to talk to an assigned agent, who will help you with this mission-”

“I thought I was going alone?”

“You are, but we need someone here taking notes… We were going to ask you to put cameras all over the island, but agent Coulson said it would be a violation, and it might get us in trouble if anyone on the island were to find out… So we're using you as our eyes and ears.” The intern finished, handing Wade a small earpiece.

“What, I'll just be walking around the island then? Listening to gossips?” He asks, studying the earpiece, turning it over in his hand to study every detail. Then sliding it onto a random pouch. He'll find it later.

Underwood hummed, being silent for a few seconds, pondering over an answer. “Erm, I guess so. But watch over the suitors and some workers, everyone. I've heard there aren't a lot, but watch their actions, and tell your partner what's happening.”

“Wait, I don't wanna be talking to another agent about this. They're gonna be all annoyed and get mad.” He looks over the intern’s desk, and grabs another earpiece, scrambling over the floor to kneel and hand over the earpiece to Underwood. “Would you do the honors - and probably risk your sanity- and be the man who watches over me, the man behind me, who tells me what to do, and what not to do, the man! Who-”

“Okay, don't continue, I'm good.. Erm, yeah, I guess I will, but I'll have to tell agent Coulson about it tomorrow-”

“Yay!” Wade tackled the man in a hug. Pulling away to grab Underwood’s hand, and tried to slide the earpiece on a laughing intern’s finger. “This isn't working.” He laughs softly, and dropping the earpiece on Underwood’s lap. “Alright,” He sighs, sitting back on his chair. “So, what do I do when I get there?”

“Right,” Underwood pushes his glasses back towards his face, and clears his throat, sliding his chair towards his wooden desk. 

He grabs a manila folder from a drawer and opens it out, revealing a picture of a very attractive man in his early twenties. The young man was wearing glasses but Wade was able to see the man's beautiful doe eyes. 

{I'm in loooooooooovvee!}

[Shut up, you've only just seen his picture.]

Moving his eyes from the man's face, Wade furrowed his brows as he notices the man who was sitting on the grass with a sketchbook in hand, looked sad, looked so lonely and out of place.

{Ah! Must protect! We must protect him!}

“Who's he? Why're you showing me this? Why is he sad? How did you get this photo?”

“Randy took this photo, before uhm… when he was still okay.” He paused when Wade took the folder from his hands. Wade frowned as he continued to flip over a few more photos, and on every one of them, the boy is sad. “His name is Peter Parker, he's the prince of the island.”

{He's a prince? There goes our chances.}

[Even if he wasn't a prince, we still don't have a chance, have you seen his face? Have you seen ours?]

“Have you done some digging as to why he's sad?” Wade asks, his eyes still studying the five pictures the folder has of the prince.

Underwood shook his head. “Unfortunately, no, I haven't. I couldn't find anything… we don't know anything about this island, and why people are dying, more specifically, killing themselves. And that's why we really are desperate to have you study the place.”

Wade folded a picture of the prince, and slid it to one of his pouches. It was a picture where the prince is sitting over the cliff, and a frown still set on his lips. “You still haven't told me what I'm going to do when I get there, ya know.”

“Oh, sorry… erm, you're going to be a suitor, court the prince.” Wade wanted to interrupt the intern, but he let the man continue. “That way, it won't be suspicious as to why you're around. While you're courting the prince, you can do some digging. Find out what people do, find out what caused the last two deaths-”

“What happens if while I'm courting the prince, the prince falls in love with me?!”

“Erm, that's kind of your problem.”

“Oh no.” The scarred man groans, stomping his feet on the cold tiled floor of the office. “Is this one of those fics where the main character’s friend says ‘don't worry about him. Just, don't. Fall. In. Love.’ because honestly, when someone says that it just makes me cringe and want to kill myself.”

“Uhm? What?”

Wade continued to groan, but every second it was getting louder. “Alright,” He sighs, slamming the folder on the wooden desk, and ran towards a nearby window. “I'm gonna go.”

“Wait! Deadpool! You mean you're starting your mission now? Like, I'm starting it with you now?”

“Ah, I'll call you when I get there, and that's where your mission starts. You don't wanna be listening to what I'm doing while getting there.” 

Instead of breaking the window, he pulled it open, because he's polite now. But then he remembered that people here can easily replace that, so he closed the window again, and broke it with a specific gun. Before jumping out of the building, because it's cool, he turned back to the intern, and yelled. “Bye, Underwear!”

He already jumped out of the window before the intern corrects him.

Now, the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! Very important! To those who have read my first... draft. Would you want Peter's... abilities, back? Or should Peter just be a normal prince?
> 
> The intern was supposed to be bob, but I watched this cartoon network short on YouTube his name is Harvey Underwood, and his boss kept calling him underwear and undergarment, and a lot of stuff and I thought it would be funny if Wade were to do the same, but say Underwood when he's being serious.
> 
> Name of each chapter will be: island of ___
> 
> Anyway, what do you think so far? Constructive criticism is always welcome, feel free to leave feedback and correct me when things are wrong. English isn't my first language, and I've only just started writing. 
> 
> Have a lovely day! I'll be updating weekly with 5k words!


	2. island of suitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [White box]  
> {Yellow box}  
> 《Underwood》
> 
> Oh wow, I hope that's not confusing

“Is - Is the prince of this island into pedophiles?” 

《”What? Why would you ask me that?”》

Blue perplexed eyes behind a red and black mask, scans the room. Under his scrutiny, were the few people who wishes to court the prince. 

When Wade had arrived, all he had to say was that he wanted to court the prince, and the guards led him to room, full of people who wanted to do the same.

Wade isn't exaggerating, but  _ holy fuck nuggets  _ are these people old. It was possible Wade being older than some of them, but he doesn't remember being a kid and a war was still going around.

{If Peter is into pedophiles… Do you think we could fit in that title? What if we can't? Man, what do we do? How does a pedophile live their life? Can.. can we just dress up as a pedophile? How would a pedophile dress?}

[A pedophile can be anyone.]

《”Wade?”》

Why would SHIELD let an intern be Wade’s partner on this mission, you ask? 

The reason was because Wade asked them to. Well, they were desperate, and Wade would just keep annoying them about this.

“These other people who want to be suitors are crazy old. I don't think even they could understand my old ass references, it's either because they're too old, or because they're too old and they can't remember,” Wade answered, swinging his legs under the chair even though his feet are completely touching the floor. “Either way, they're old.”

The few who aren't as old as Wade is describing, took a glance at his direction, some dismissed him because he's talking to himself, some looked suspicious, and some were uncomfortable.

《”Can you tell me how many are in the room, and if you think you know any of them? And can you just go back to texting me the details? I said don't speak to me when people are around. We can't afford to blow this up, people at SHIELD are going to remember us as failures!”》

Wade’s whining and complaining about Underwood was left unspoken, when he remembered how important this mission is to him. Nipping at his lower lip to stop himself from saying anything more annoying and loud that would draw attention, he took his phone and sent Underwood the details. Telling the intern that there are twenty-three people in the room (excluding himself) and that he doesn't remember seeing any of their faces.

When Wade looked up from his phone after tapping send. He saw the eldest man in the room count the many moving bodies of people wishing to court the prince. The man is probably around ninety years, (Wade couldn't see the man's eyes, because the man was wearing sunglasses, but Wade was sure the man was squinting his eyes,) and counting loudly.

Wade didn't want to be rude, or make fun of an old person. But he has been quiet for too long, so, he decided to have some fun.

Standing, the masked man strode across the room, and stood behind the elder man. The man was still counting when Wade got there. “-- thirteen… fourteen..”

Wade’s eyes darted between the old man and the people walking around the room. He looked down at the old man in front of him, sitting and counting. “Six, seven, eight.” He interrupted.

“Nine.. Ten.. Eleven… Aw, fiddlesticks.” The elder cursed when Wade had interrupted his count. Yet he restarted to count without even sending Wade a glance. “One… Two.. Three-”

{Do the alphabet!}

“A, B, C, D, E, F, G!” Wade yelled from behind.

“H.. I, J... K -- aw, fiddlesticks!”

The large, high ceiling room caused Wade’s loud laugh to echo. His body bent, and shaking with laughter, while his boxes shook their nonexistent heads in guilt, spewing words, about how much of jerk he is. When he's sobered up, he was about to apologize, but when he looked up, he saw the elder was also laughing.

Wade sat his body down on a soft cushion beside the elder. “So… not judging, not at all. But, why waste your last few living days, in here, waiting, to court a young prince -”

“Wait, court? A prince? What?” The elder asked, looking completely surprised and confused. The reaction caused Wade to be surprised and confused too. “I thought this was a meth lab!”

The scarred man's guffaw was loud enough to make the elder beside him deaf. Wade was shaking and almost crying, as he thought about the possibilities of this place being a meth lab.

From afar, and from the boat trip to here, the island did look small, and it was suspicious that it looked like it only had a very large palace.

“Yeah, like, why would you want to spend your last breathing days, trying to win someone's heart, when you can just do drugs, right?” Panting, Wade had managed to ask.

“Ugh, I'm gonna go. I wasted a lot of time here. I could be getting some drugs by now!” Noticing that the elder had trouble standing, Wade helped, but the man slapped Wade’s hand. “My cane exists for a reason.”

With soft chuckles, Wade raised his hands, a genuine smile on his lips. Old people are just so cool. Watching them panic to make the most of their life is funny because they could die any minute. 

[Dude, that's so mean, stop.]

{But it's funny!}

“She's here!” Someone from the far end of the room had yelled. All of a sudden, everyone stopped walking around, and stood in a line, just as the large longcase clock emit a loud deafening noise, indicating that it's twelve in the afternoon.

《Wade, what's happening?》

Wade lifted his feet and went to ask the nearest guy, who was standing on the long line, and was nervously shaking. “Hey, what's going on? Is everyone going to dance? Is someone going to die every hour?”

With confused furrowed brows, the man that Wade asked, looked him up and down before saying. “Oh you're new…” The stranger nodded to himself. “There's this girl, Gwen, and she chooses the suitor for the prince.”

“I'm new?”

“Most of us had been here for  _ years, _ just waiting for the prince to finally let us court him. The prince had rejected us a lot of times, but we never give up! We know one day the prince will change his mind.”

{At least now we know we're not the one who's on top of ‘the most desperate person to have ever breathe on this planet’ look at all these guys, we're so below them… I'm relieved!}

Biting his tongue from saying anything mean, and would cause these guys to hate him, Wade calmly asked, keeping in mind that he  _ needed  _ to take this mission seriously. “How long have you been waiting in line?”

“I've been here for three years, ever since the prince turned eighteen. But some of these guys, though, they've been waiting for like ten years, it's freaky, and gross.”

“So.. if this Gwen lady likes you, she'll let you court the prince?”

“Yeah. That's what I just said.”

In a millisecond, Wade had started dancing, wiggling his limbs around, tapping his feet on the floor, thrusting his hips, every dance move that he knows, while glancing at the front line where a blonde lady is talking to each people on the line.

Wade was at the very end. He's going to be dead caused by suffocation, by the time she gets here.

{Dance harder!}

[Hey! We're gonna be dead by the time she gets here. Underwood said we shouldn't let anyone know that we can't die.]

{Who the fuck cares about what Underwoodenfloors thinks?}

[We do. Remember that speech we gave Matt? About the wanting to change, and taking this mission seriously speech?]

Huffing out a breath, Wade stopped dancing. Bending over, the palms of his hands, glued to his kneecaps. For a guy who works out daily, dancing felt like a chore.

He'll just start dancing when she's near him.

Now, he needs to focus. Scanning the room, Wade noticed, that at the door Gwen had emerged from, stood two large bodyguards. If Gwen ever thinks that he's worthy, he's going to enter that room, and those guys are going to check him.

Fuck.

Okay, think Wade, think. Turning his head into every direction, he saw another bodyguard leave a room, his hands soaking, and because of it, he wiped his hands on his pants. Wade reckons that room is the toilet.

Looking over where Gwen is still talking to some people on the line, Wade rushed to the bathroom.

《Where are you going now?》

Confused as to how Underwood noticed that he left his spot on the line, Wade didn't utter a single word, not wanting to draw attention -- hah! That's new, he craved attention, whether it be bad or not. When he goes back, Matt should worship him, praise him for taking this very seriously.

Reaching the bathroom, Wade locked the door behind, running around the bathroom to make sure that the whole room is locked and that there aren't any cameras hidden.

“Underwear, there are guys that I'm sixty-nine percent sure are gonna have a touchy feely up my lady liberty, just to make sure that there aren't any New Yorker’s robbing the hot dog stand.”

《For fucks sakes, Wade, speak English.》

“There are guards here, who are gonna make me take my mask off, and check my suit. That's why I'm gonna hide this earpiece up my ass, you get?”

《... Yes.》

“Now can you tell me if you hid any more gadgets on my suit so I can shove them up my ass, too? I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid.”

[Everything was going so well, ‘til you said that last sentence.]

《There's a really small camera on your pouch near your belt buckle. That's the only thing I know, and have access on. If you have any more gadgets on you, I wouldn't know, because they're not showing up on my computer, and I don't remember hiding one on you.》

“So, you didn't hide this on me?”

《Oh, I did. Phil made me, said if anything shady were to happen, we needed evidence. I was going to tell you, but you just fled.》

As Wade found the device lying on the side of his belt buckle, he said. “You still should have told me, we've been talking for like, thirty minutes now! My privacy has been invaded! You're not my bosom, you're not allowed to invade my bubble, you… you Underjerk!”

《Yeah, I'm so sorry. Won't happen again, I promise.》

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I'll start you up when they're done checking me up… I'm giving you, the silent treatment!” He finished, ripping his mask off, and turning the earpiece off, Wade mumbled to himself. “Am I really gonna stick these two up my ass? what if my ass vacuums it up? What if it ends up on my stomach, and digests it back to my intestine?”

{Well if it happens, we'll just dig up our shit after?}

[Just hide it on your underwear, by your junk, just hurry up! Gwen might get to our spot and not see us there, and leave!]

Sliding the earpiece and the small camera on his underwear, under his junk, Wade hurried to put his mask back on, and run back outside.

Outside, where he doesn't have an Underwood watching, and telling him what to do and what not to do. He had to do this mission alone, until he gets inside.

The thought alone makes him nervous. He's already over thinking, imagining the different outcomes that might happen if he fucks this up. His palms sweaty under the gloves. Fucking hell, he's really nervous.

Being back in line, and to get his mind off of fucking things up, Wade sees Gwen is just two guys, and one girl near him, and he starts to dance very stiffly.

[We look so sad, why are we doing this? Please stop.]

{No don't stop, dance harder!} And Wade dances harder.

The Gwen lady, wearing a white lab coat and a very beautiful blonde hair pulled up in elastic band, spoke in a very tired way from the line. “-- I told you, the prince doesn't want you, you're too old for him.”

“I want to hear it from the prince himself!” The guy who Gwen was talking to, yelled, looking at the other people on the line, expecting them to yell and agree with him.

The idiots actually did. “Yeah! We wanna hear it from the prince himself!”

Gwen was rubbing her forehead with her fingers, her other hand clutching a small clipboard, as the people on the line cheer louder. “Send us the prince! We want the prince!”

{Don't focus on them, keep dancing.}

Everyone was still yelling, Gwen was still standing there writing things down on her clipboard, Wade still dancing. When an angelic voice, had yelled, that stopped everyone from doing what they were doing. Yes, even Wade’s dancing.

“Enough!”

“Oh holy fuck nuggets.” The scarred man whispered. Dropping his limbs, his shoulders going slump, his eyes focused on the beautiful man who had just entered the room. He came from the same door Gwen had emerged from.

The prince looked so like the picture that Wade has on his pouch - oh holy fuck! The picture is still there. Wade doesn't have the time to panic, he had all his attention on the beautiful tired man, who seemed to be walking towards Gwen.

Everyone on the room was silent. The only noise that can be heard was the footsteps of the beautiful prince. Wade memorised every detail of the man, the way his fluffy brown hair just -- fluffs around, the way there were dark circles under his eyes, his eyes half lidded, his lips set on a straight line, not frowning, not smiling just - tired. And… sad.

The closer the beautiful man gets, the more air was limited from Wade. Wade was so focused on him, that he couldn't even hear the boxes. Maybe they weren't even saying anything, too speechless from the beauty that is Peter Parker.

[Now I get why these people are desperate.]

The beautiful man stopped just beside Gwen, facing the line of wannabe suitors, his head turning to the front of the line, then to Wade who was at the end of the line. Wade felt his heart skip a beat when Peter glanced at him. Wade would never forget that Peter stared at him for two seconds, and he will forever convince himself that it's not because he's wearing a red and black suit with a matching mask.

“If Gwen said that you're not fit to be a suitor of mine… You're not… If she doesn't know what she's doing, then why did I even give her this position? If she said no, she said no. Now go home.”

“Wait!” Wade had screamed, catching everyone's attention. Now, Wade never cared if everyone was watching him, he loved the attention. But now… now Peter is also staring at him. 

Just like how Wade handles every situation where he grows anxious, he dances again. “The Gwen lady still haven't checked how my pancake tastes!”

Wade wanted punch a fucking lamp post and stab it straight through his chest. All of the lamp, from the top of the bulb, to the end where it meets the ground. 

Wade wanted to cry. He wanted to kiss every forehead of every baby. Wade wanted to give all his money to the poor. Wade wanted to bathe in gas, and roll himself on a carpet, and pay someone to light him on fire, because oh hi hello, alright, he just made the beautiful prince laugh.

{Oh my fucking god, dance harder! Do it again! Do it better! Don't ever stop! We'll stop when we die!}

Clutching his eyes closed. Wade danced harder, wiggling his limbs harder, thrusting to every direction, this shouldn't even be considered dancing anymore, he's just violently moving his body around, and whimpering from the pain.

Wade would do this every single day, because the prince is still laughing. His laugh was angelic, Wade wanted to wallow in it, he feels as if he could be happy every day if could just hear Peter laugh.

The prince was still softly laughing when he moved forward, and tried to stop Wade from dancing even more by placing a gentle hand on Wade’s covered shoulder. “It's okay, you can stop now.”

There were wrinkles by the corners of Peter’s eyes from how wide he was smiling. Wade wanted to fucking rip his whole face off. When Wade stopped dancing, he couldn't look away from the prince's beautiful eyes. “Did.. did I impress you with my heart snatching moves?”

“Yes, yes you did. What's your name?” The prince had asked, walking backwards, with his hands twined together behind him.

Wade was too smitten to even think of a witty response, a bad pun, or an ugly pick up line. He just straight up said his name like a boring vanilla fuck. “Wade… Wade Wilson.” Wade didn't know how people greet each other here, so he stood still. That is until Peter holds out his hand to shake Wade’s. Wade looked down at the outstretched hand, and shook it.

“What a lovely name. I'm Peter Parker.”

“Oh my god, oh wow, your name sounds like something I would moan in sex.” He breathed out, his hand still firmly shaking the prince's incredibly soft hands.

The same breathtaking soft laughs, and that melting smile appeared back again on Peter’s face, to send Wade mentally falling on his knees. 

But Peter eventually pulled his hand back, behind him again. It took everything for Wade not to whine and fake cry.

“Wade, why the mask and suit?”

“For.. For the sexy times?” 

Peter eyed his body, from his head to toe, and even though Wade was covered, he still squirmed under the prince's scrutiny. 

Bringing his arms, to cross over his chest, his eyes narrowed, suspicious of Wade’s being. “How did you know I was looking for suitors?”

[This is really the time to have Underwood tell us what to do.]

Underwood had told him what to do. Underwood prepared him with answers from questions they might receive, but Wade wasn't listening then, he didn't think there would be a time where he had to take his earpiece out and do this mission solo style.

“Oh, you know.” The ex mercenary started, leaning on the wall. “I was just having some drinks with some pals, when this one guy was sad and said something about being rejected by becoming a suitor and stuff. And I was like ‘Hey, I wanna take a dip on that pool, mind sharing me some deets?’” He nervously answered, and mentally praised himself for not stuttering.

Peter merely nodded, as he turned to look at Gwen. Gwen was the first to say something to Wade. “Okay, Wade. If you're going to be a suitor, we have to do some background check, and all that digging on you. We're gonna be asking a lot of questions, until you can fully court the prince.” Wade nods for her to continue, pushing himself off the wall to stand properly. “Now, if you'd follow me, I'll lead you to your room.”

With his teeth down on his lower lip, Wade watches as the prince walks away, outside. He follows Gwen, and exhales.

Alright, this was it.

Getting on the island without any trouble. Check.

Getting to be a suitor without any trouble. Check.

So far so good. He cannot fuck this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If some things are wrong, please always feel free to point it out. More answers are going to be said next chapter, that's next Thursday. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments, they all motivate me to write! Thank you, I hope this fic is okay. Have a lovely day!


	3. island of questions

“Go in there, and  _ touch  _ it, come on!” Yelled Wade, who had his mask back on, thrusting his hip forward toward the guard. 

“Dude, no. I'm not gonna touch your junk. That's gay.”

“No, man. I'm telling you! Go ahead! Have a touchy feely up there! You're a guard, this is your job, you have to protect this palace and the prince in it! Do you want me to call the lovely Gwen lady? ‘Uhm, miss Gwen, one of your guards here didn't check my whole body, he's not doing his job! Fire him!”

“Oh my god!” The other guard yelled throwing his hands up in exasperation, completely fed up with Wade. “I'm gonna do it, just shut up.” Taking one big step forward, Wade didn't even get to say anything, because this quiet guard just stepped in and started patting Wade’s front and back.

Immediately, Wade shrieked, and slapped the guard that had touched him, right across his young pale face. “How fucking dare you?!” Exclaimed Wade, pushing the guard by the shoulder with his large gloved hands. “I didn't give you permission, I gave the other guy that!”

“Oh, man… sorry.” The blonde man that Wade had pushed, and slapped, was rubbing his reddened cheek with his pale palm. The Asian guard beside him turned away to laugh without being seen. “I didn't sign up for this. Just get inside already.”

With a huff, Wade narrowed his eyes at the blonde guard, and waved at the laughing one. 

[This was so unnecessary, what if they actually checked and we got caught?]

{That was so necessary, alright. It would have been suspicious if we told them not to feel all down there.}

[But screaming at them to do just that, isn't suspicious?]

{Look, we got inside, didn't we?}

Tightening his holsters back to his body, he pouted when all of his weapons had been taken. The only weapon he has, was a small knife, a small knife which he had to fall on his knees, and fake cry about a fake story, where the knife belongs to his father and he wanted to keep it.

Alright, so, he is in a shady island, and he's also unarmed. That's great. At least they didn't force him to have his mask off. If they did, Wade would have saluted, and yelled a big old bag of ‘NOPE’ as he dove into the ocean and swam all the way back to New York.

Stepping inside the large doors, a small petite woman escorted him to his room. He smiled politely under the mask, walking along with the woman, as his eyes look everywhere, and at everyone, remembering his mission. 

Underwood wanted him to watch everyone, learn their ways, what they do, their culture - just everything about these people, even though there are just about fifty people.

{He also said we should listen to gossip.}

Yes, gossip too. 

“Gwen said that if you're done getting your room ready, she wanted to talk to you. Just call Teddy over there if you're ready, Mr…”

“Uhm…” Wade contemplated, eyes moving around, like he could find an answer anywhere he's stood. “Wade Wilson, but Wade is definitely okay,” He admitted, seeing that it was too late to make up a fake name, since he arrived here in this suit and yelling at everyone that he's Deadpool. He also had told the prince that he's courting, his real name.

“Wade. I'm Kate, just call for any of us if you need help.” With that, and another polite smile from her, she left him in front of his bedroom door.

Quickly entering his room, Wade shut and locked the door, his eyes immediately scanning the room for any cameras, or any other shady thing that shouldn't be here, anything that would fuck this mission up.

He checked the whole bed first. He removed the pillow case of every pillow, he removed the duvets and every blanket, then the bed sheet. Lifting the mattress, and throwing it to the floor to search the bed fully.

When he didn't find anything, he threw everything back. 

He moved to search the shelves, the desks, the cute soft little loveseats, the coffee table, the tv, the curtains, the windows, even the ceiling and the hardwood floors -- everything.

When he was 99% sure that his room was okay, (it was trashed, everything is thrown around, it almost seemed like Wade is just here to destroy the rooms) he sat on the loveseat, and brought his comm earpiece back to his ear, and the small camera back by his belt buckle.

With his comm back on, Wade did his best to imitate a hacker's voice. “I'm in.”

《I'm having lunch on my desk. Why's the room messy? What happened?》His voice got tensed, and Wade sensed the panic.

“I'm okay, not injured, thank you for asking if I was still all in one piece, I am, so, don't worry about that.” He leaned back and stretched while sitting. “I got in. The room's messy ‘cause I had to make sure it was all clear, like the smart guy I am.”

《Wade, we're still not sure if you're completely alone, they may have hidden something, so when you're talking to me, make it seem like you're talking to the voices in your head, is that okay?》

Nodding, mentally tattooing what the intern had said, into his brain, wanting to always remember it, to avoid fucking things up. “Okay. What do you want me to do next?”

《I want you to fix the room, so they won't be suspicious as to why it's trashed.》

Not saying anything in return, Wade stood. He first made the bed, then put the books back on the shelf, he put all the things back to how they were a few moments ago.

《Did they want to talk to you? Ask you questions about yourself?》

“Yeah, they wanted to talk to me after I'm done here. Which I am, do you want me to go outside and talk to Gwen now?” Wade asked in a surprisingly calm manner. It wasn't common that he'd willingly let someone tell him what to do. 

Unless it was in the bedroom, that's a completely different talk.

《Yeah, yeah, don't worry. When I was out, I was writing down possible questions, and writing down answers for you to give them.》Underwood had informed him, with his mouth full. Wade remembered the intern was having lunch while working. Wade remembered he still haven't had anything, and it's four in the afternoon.

One last look around the room, Wade had his hand on the knob, and left the room. His head subtly turning to even direction, as he casually strolled down the hall, humming a pop song he's heard on the radio.

“Wade,” The scarred man shrieked, jumping in surprise, and caught himself before he fell to the cold marble floor. The same blonde lady, Gwen was stood in front of him, now without her white lab coat, but she's carrying a thick notebook, and a pen in her other hand. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Me? Scared? Psh, I'd never even hear those words in the same sentence.”

[It could be ‘you should be scared of me’ or ‘you're scared of me, aren't you?’ ‘are you scared of me now?’]

{Shut up, I don't want to hear all of them.} 

“I'm still sorry,” She apologized again, and what is it with people being so polite here? Is he secretly in Canada? “Were you looking for me? I told Kate that I wanted to talk to you after you've settled.”

“Yeah, I was looking for you! Totally! I wasn't looking around for a specific attractive prince alright!”

Wade wanted to cut off his leg and use it to kick his face, but thankfully, she didn't seem to mind, she just chuckled and nodded her head to a different hall, ushering him to follow her. He did. “If you're looking for Peter, Good luck with that, he's always running around the island, and sitting on trees to draw, and just be alone…” The small smile on her face left, and woop, that's a touchy subject, a subject Wade wanted to get on with and find out. “Anyway, while we're walking to the main living room of the palace, let start our talk.” She opened her thick notebook and spoke. “So I did some research on you, and you're Deadpool, an ex mercenary, right?”

“What? How did you know?”

“I just Google searched ‘Deadpool’ and articles showed up. Said you haven't done any killings in a while, and that you're actually helping a vigilante around New York. Is that correct?”

“That is correct. Those are some nice articles.”

“Why are you here?”

His heartbeat steady, Wade kept his pace on walking, steady. “Like I said, I just wanted to woo the prince… the making sure there are no baddies on the street of New York got boring pretty fast, wanted to do something new.”

Gwen nodded, hopefully convinced. “How old are you?”

《Don't tell her you can't die, don't let anyone know that. Tell her you're thirty-five.》

“Thirty-five.” 

She nods again. “Source of income?”

《If you said any job, they might look at that place and check if you ever worked there. To avoid that, just tell her you still have money left from the jobs you took.》

“I still have money left from the jobs I took.” 

[Wow, you're actually doing so good. Daredevil and everyone would be proud.]

“How are we sure that you're not here on a job to kill anyone, specifically the prince?” She asked the question that Wade prayed he didn't hear.

Hearing an answer from the earpiece, Wade mentally sighed in relief, mentally thanking Underwood for being prepared for this question. “No one wanted to give me a job after they heard that I've been doing good, by patrolling the streets with a few heroes now. They're scared that I might not do my part, and expose them to the heroes around New York. I've been turning down offers for over a year and a half now, people who wants to hire me, either gave up, or just didn't want to deal with me, turning my back on them,” He finished, earning another nod from the blonde. “So yeah, no one paid me to kill anyone here, and I don't feel like killing anyone here… you read it yourself, most articles said that I haven't killed anyone, either it be on the streets during patrol, or anywhere in a long while now.”

Gwen stared at him, and gave another nod. “Alright, I believe you.”

She really should. Wade isn't here to kill anyone, he's just here to spy on them.

“That's -That's it?” His question came out a squeak, but it still sounded that he was very confused. He was.

“What? No, I have more questions-”

“No, not that.” Gwen furrowed her brows and glanced at Wade. Both of them not stopping their walk towards the living room that Wade doesn't have any idea looks like. “I mean… that's it? I just get here by a boat, and say ‘I'm gonna court the prince’ show off some of my heart snatching moves, you guys check my suit to make sure I'm not smuggling anything, then do some digging on me? That's it? I'm already qualified to court him?”

{Stop talking, you're going to jinx it.}

Gwen’s eyebrows raised, her head slowly nodding, followed by an audible ‘oh’ that indicated she understood whatever he had said. “When Peter was eighteen, his father sent in suitors to court him. Said Peter should be married by twenty-one-”

“He's twenty-one now, right?”

“Yes. He's twenty-one. And there still haven't been any suitor to ‘win his heart’, so, his father sent out a memo that anyone, and I mean  _ anyone  _ can court Peter. If Peter is still not married when he turns twenty-two, his father will be the one to choose who he's going to be with.”

A frown appeared on Wade’s scarred face. “Peter is okay with that?”

“Yeah, he actually agreed… but I know he's not happy about it. Just agrees with what his father tells him, even though the guy only visits him once every ten years.” The girl's shoulders went tensed, showing an emotion of slight anger and at the same time, pity. Wade was confused.

“Wait, where are his parents? Why aren't they here?” 

She bit her lip, like she was contemplating whether to tell Wade or not. “No one even knows why. Peter gave up trying to find out why.” Her answer seemed genuine, or she's just really good at lying, either way, Wade believed her. “But his aunt and uncle raised him. He didn't complain, he was content…” Her already resting face frowned.

“Why's he all sad and tired?”

“I've already told you enough. I don't think I should be the one to tell you that.”

Wade came here with a mission. That mission was to spy on these people, and find out what the hell is up with the mysterious deaths.

But he also has another mission that no one has to know about: It was to make Peter happy. And that also happened to be his number one priority.

[The only thing I've learned so far, is that the only people who would want us, are the ones who are crippling in  _desperation_.]


	4. island of creeps

Three days.

With Wade’s skills, he could easily track down a quiet prince, but it's been three whole fucking days walking around this island, and still, nothing.

Wade spent actual  _ years  _ hunting people down, and doing the job. But why the hell is this small prince so hard to find, in one single island? 

It's all making Wade so frustrated. And a frustrated Wade makes a frustrated Underwood, and a frustrated Underwood makes a lot of arguments and Wade shutting off his earpiece and camera, resulting in Underwood being mad, and yelling at him later for being - immature, not taking this job seriously. 

And you know how Wade gets when he's reminded that he's not taking this seriously. He takes the mission a thousand times more serious.

And that's how Wade found Peter sitting on a thick branch of tree. The prince is sat up in there, all comfortable, and he's drawing. 

Wade is a few feet away from the tree where Peter is, and yet from this far away, Wade could still see, how even at this peaceful place, the prince still didn't look relaxed and at peace. He still looked like he's skipped meals as well as a few hours of sleep.

{Why the fuck are we still standing here?! Give him food, and let him sleep!}

[Uhm, I agree.]

And wow Wade is the one who agrees a hundred times more. The scarred ex mercenary pushed himself off the tree he was leaning in, and dashed toward the tree where the prince is sitting on top off. Skipping to make the leaves under his boot emit a noise, so his arrival wouldn't come off as a surprise to the young prince.

Hearing the crumpling of leaves, the young prince perched his head up, and turned to look behind him. Wade  _ almost  _ tripped in nothing but air, as soon as those brown eyes met his. (Even though his eyes are hidden underneath the mask.)

The eldest of the two present people broke the silence, throwing his arms up, exclaiming. “Petey! What up, baby boy? Haven't seen you since the second chapter of this fic.”

Wade wanted to cry when Peter looked away from him, and focused back on his sketchbook. 

“What are you doing here, suitor?” The prince had asked, his eyes still focused on his book, his hands still continuing their job with drawing.

“To win your heart, silly! I didn't travel all the way here just to trash the rooms, and eat all the food… That's - That's totally not why I came here.” Wade expected a soft chuckle, or just a small smile for at least a millisecond, but nothing came, the prince is too busy to be amused. Wade shook his head, taking a few steps towards the tree, then looking up at the still seated prince. “How did you even get there?”

The prince didn't answer, and Wade clicked his tongue. It's only been three days, and this work isn't really as easy as he thought it would be. 

He doesn't have any weapon with him, only a small knife, he doesn't have a grappling hook, he doesn't have  _ anything  _ to get himself up there. How is Underwood expecting him to get there? 

《I can see a vine by your left, Wade.》 Underwood quipped, as if he had just read Wade’s thoughts.

When he spotted a thick vine just by his side, he rolled his eyes, but grabbed it nonetheless. The vine was wrapped around the branch of where Peter is seated, the vine must've been what Peter used to get up there. 

Pulling it down to test its strength, and shrugging as if he was saying ‘good enough’ when it didn't break after two hard tugs.

If it broke, he can't die, so, yeah.

Bending his neck to inappropriate angles, his attempts to crack them a little, he shook his limbs, and grabbed the vine with two hands. He positioned both his feet by the trunk of the tree, and began lifting his body with the help of the vine. “I'm coming! Just.. give me.. two hours! Don't move! I'll be there!”

Surprisingly, Peter lifted his head to stare down at Wade. Unfortunately, the prince didn't do anything, he just glanced, then continued back to drawing.

{Okay wow, it's gonna take a lot of wooing to make him like us.}

Wade disliked the thought a lot. But hey, this is Peter, Wade might take years to make the prince smile, and Wade still wouldn't stop. He'll only probably stop when the prince gets enough of him and bans him from the island. And Wade will stay away with the last few strands of dignity he still has left.

He's Wade, what does dignity even mean anymore?

Wade's mind had drifted off, and he almost slipped and fell ten feet high up, but he grabbed so very hard on the vine, and focused onto getting up there.

《Why are you even doing this? The mission is to spy on people, not woo the prince. Being a suitor is just our excuse to be here.》

“Shut up, I know what I'm doing.” Wade was very tempted to shut off all communications he has with the intern, but knowing that some shit might go down, and he doesn't have Underwood to tell him what to do, or when something happens and Underwood didn't have it recorded, Wade would go home a failure, he might not even want to go home after fucking this up.

So he stuck to having his eye twitch whenever Underwood questions his actions, whenever Underwood would threaten him that whatever he was about to do might lead to him fucking things up, whenever Underwood would get in the fucking way of him trying to make Peter at least smile for a second.

Finally reaching the specific branch of the huge ass tree, Wade didn't hold back a loud groan, as he flops his body down on the branch Peter is seated on. Apparently, the branch is big enough and strong enough to not snap when Wade threw his body on it.

Peter only glanced at him for a second and went back to drawing, causing Wade to groan again. 

Sitting up, he scrambled around on one of his pouches. “Ooh! Guess what I brought!” 

The young man looked down at where Wade had climbed from, then back to where Wade’s hand is. “Your sanity?”

Wade let out a loud fake laugh, then cutting himself off quickly after. “No, I left that fucker when he actually suggested I be a normal boring old guy with a normal happy family. Could you believe that guy? No one could stand him!” Not a chuckle, not a scoff, nothing, Wade couldn't let anything come out of that prince and he's starting to want to just lie in bed and cry. Returning his attention back to his pouch, he pulled out a crumpled bag of fast food take out.

“How did all that fit in there?”

The older man let himself laugh a little at what the prince had to say. He shrugged and shoved the bag to the prince's chest. “It's some unhealthy greasy burrito I got from your daddy's city. New York was just too far away from here.”

Peter stared at the bag on Wade's outstretched hand, then back at Wade's masked face. At first Wade thought that it was an insult to offer the prince some take out, but Peter just politely shook his head, and made an effort to give Wade a small smile, which Wade wished lasted longer than a second. “I appreciate it, but, no thank you, Wade, I'm fine.”

“When's the last time you ate anything?” He had asked, the bag of take out, now resting on the space between him and the prince.

A nonchalant shrug was the prince's answer, his attention back to his drawing. “Dunno, never really keep track of when I eat or when I don't.”

“Are you starving yourself?!”

Peter immediately looked up at Wade. “No! No I don't. I just, don't feel like eating, and sometimes I just forget that I need to eat and all.” He waved Wade off, as if he was telling the scarred man that it was nothing to worry about. He wasn't eating a lot, that's something huge, and something Wade needs to worry about, alright.

“You forget to eat?! What's even the use of the tummy earthquakes that tells you it's feeding time?! What, do you need a postcard to be sent to you? Mailing you something, like, I don't know, ‘it's time to eat, Peter!’”

Wade wanted to thank every god, he wanted to thank himself. He loves himself right now, because Peter smiled and giggled, he really just fucking mumbled his next words. “Tummy. That word's so cute… tummy.” And he continues to giggle! Wade would ask Underwood later for the copy of what just happened. He'd have this saved on a fucking cd, and he'll watch it whenever he's sad.

“No, you're cute.” Wade said, lightly pushing the prince on the shoulder.

《I only wanted to get paid, I didn't sign up for this.》

“So, how'd you find me?” Peter asked, lifting his pencil again, to continue drawing while talking to Wade.

Wade eyed the bag of burrito and almost grabbed one for himself, but he stopped himself before doing anything, and just stared at the young prince. “Just stared at the ground and followed a trail of breadcrumbs.” Peter didn't say anything, waiting for Wade to answer properly. “Ugh, I don't know, I just followed some branches that looked broken and like someone walked right past them, crumpled leaves, and all that basic hunting people down rules.”

The young brunet raised an eyebrow. “Hunting people down?”

“Look, it's no secret I used to gakk people out before.. I promise you, I'm a changed man… and I'm not saying that, like we're in an abusive relationship, where I keep hurting people and apologizing later, and making a speech about how I'm changed, not like that, I really am a changed man!”

Peter answered without looking up. “Mmm, yeah whatever, I trust Gwen and whoever helped her do some background check on you.”

《Those people aren't doing a great job if we're still here.》

[Shut him up, he's gonna jinx it.]

When Peter finally looked up from his drawing, his eyes darted between Wade and the bag of burritos. “Do you dislike burritos or you just don't want to take your mask off?”

“If I ever said that I  _ dislike  _ burritos, you're gonna have to shoot that guy, that guy isn't me, will never be me.” Wade immediately shut his eyes off, and mentally cursed himself, for he had just admitted that he didn't want to take his mask off.

Peter drawing isn't stopping him from asking Wade uncomfortable questions, that's for sure. “Gwen told me you have scars, I'm sure they're not that bad.”

The older one whined, childishly swinging his legs around in false frustration. “Has she told you that she almost threw up when she saw my face?” 

“What?”

“What's that?” Wade's head immediately turned to the direction where he had heard a noise. With a confused expression, Peter looked behind him, where Wade was glaring.

“What's what?” Peter didn't get to finish his question, Wade had already jumped twenty feet high. 

“Mistake mistake.” The scarred man whispered to himself, laying on his side and hugging his knees to his chest. “That hurt, that hurt. I think I heard one of my organs cry.” 

《Wade, what are you doing?》

“Someone's here,” He grumbled to both Underwood and Peter. His arms shaking, he lifted himself into a standing position, his hands gripping the trunk of the tree. Any bones that were broken were now healing, and he's standing perfectly within a few seconds.

When Wade looked up, Peter was intensely staring at him, brows furrowed with both concern and confusion. “How do you know?”

Wade wasn't 100% sure that someone is here, he just needed an excuse to not talk about his face. But now that he's down here, he heard a few crumpling of leaves under a boot. Tilting his head, he looked at a large trunk of tree, and saw a figure hiding behind it.

The ex mercenary didn't answer to the prince's question, he only stalked toward the specific tree, his right hand reaching for his only weapon - a small ass knife. The prince mustn't have seen, or he just didn't make any comment towards it.

Making sure his feet didn't make any noise to give away his approach, Wade tilted his head again to see a figure crouched, completely hiding.

With a sly grin, Wade grabbed the figure, and pinned it to the ground, his knife threateningly pressing to the girl's neck.

The girl looked to be by the age of eighteen, she had brown skin that matched her brown eyes, as well as her brown hair, but most of all, Wade noticed she wasn't shaking, her eyes aren't blown out with fear, she wasn't scared that Wade has a knife to her neck. She's just lying there, she's not even trying to get Wade away from her.

“Why were you watching us?” He demanded, his hand on her shoulder, the other clutching the knife to her neck. She wasn't answering, just laying there. Wade kept demanding when he saw a camera by her side.

“Wade!” Peter suddenly appeared out of nowhere, surprising Wade with his strength as he pushed Wade away from the girl. “What the hell?!”

Landing on his ass, Wade watched Peter help the girl to sit properly, and dusted off the leaves that got to her shirt. “She was watching us! And she was recording-”

“That doesn't give you any right to threaten her! You had a knife to her neck! Who do you think you are?!”

“Don't blame this on me, she's being a creep, I was just confronting her!” Wade defended himself, standing up.

The young prince was also standing up by now, and he was aggressively walking towards Wade. “Confront her, by threatening her?!” Peter prodded Wade in the chest with much more force than Wade was expecting. “You don't get to threaten anyone here, you've only been here for four days! Next time you pull something like this, I'm throwing you off the island.” The prince finished, glaring at Wade the entire time. He turned away, helped the girl up, and walked away holding her arm, comforting her.

When they were out of sight, Wade fell to his ass. Rolling around the ground, groaning.

《Wade..》 Underwood started. Wade could only imagine the intern rubbing his temples, so tired of Wade’s shit. 《What was that? Why did you just do that?》

“Look, I've been dealing with creeps and shady people my whole life, I know when someone's just being a creep and when someone's being shady. And believe me when I say that that kid wasn't just being a creep, and snooping, that kid is shady as fuck.” 

《Alright, alright, I believe you, okay?》 Wade breathed out and relaxed his tensed shoulders. Finally, someone other than Matt Murdock believes him. 《But we have to think deeper. What if the girl is a setup, everyone on this island knows she's a setup, she's being paid to watch you, make sure that you're not really out to kill anyone. Notice how Peter didn't freak out? He might have known she was watching. . . are you listening?》

“I'm listening, keep talking."

《If that is the case, you have to be more careful.》 Wade hummed, urging the intern to continue, and that he understands. 《I saw a camera, is it still there?》

“No, I saw her took it.”

《You said she's shady. What do you think she's up to?》

Wow, someone who wants to know what he thinks, that's rare.

Still lying on the ground, Wade played around with the small knife, unknowingly having the urge to do something with his hands. “I don't. . . I don't really know.” He groans, dropping the knife to his stomach. “She-She was just staring at me, she wasn't scared, she wasn't trying to get away. You saw that, right?”

《Yeah.. yeah I saw it too. Maybe because she knows you won't do anything, or maybe because she knew Peter was gonna stop you-》

“Wait! Fuck!” In an instant, the ex mercenary had sat up just as an idea had crossed his mind. “What if she wanted me to hurt her, so Peter would see and hate me?!”

From the other end of the line, Wade heard the intern humming. 《Hmm, that's a good theory. But why would she risk her health - her life, just so Peter would see you hurt her? Make him hate you?》

“Easy.” The suitor stood slowly. “Someone here doesn't like that I'm wooing the prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please always feel free to point out mistakes. Feedback constructive criticism is always nice. Hope you all liked this, have a lovely day!


	5. island of the sleep deprived

[You're over analysing this. What if she really is just a creep? What if she's just like that?]

“Look, Undertale believes that I know what I'm doing, why can't you? You're in my head, why can't you understand, goddamn.” Wade's low grumble echoed in the small room of his, his body huddled over the corner, half of his head looking over the window, which still had the dark curtains on, covering Wade’s body and his whole room.

Even within his room, he didn't have his mask off. He doesn't trust this place, doesn't trust anyone here.

It's how he found himself kneeling on the floor, and eyes narrowed, watching every movement of the night before his sleepless eyes.

Underwood went home, but Wade could still turn on his comm whenever and hopefully the intern would answer, for he has the device with him.

For now, Wade was alone, and is still doing his job. He's thought of walking around at night, but he thought he'd come off as very suspicious. Sticking to just watching the night below him seemed like a better idea.

His view wasn't much. It was just at the back of the palace, where it only showed the forest he had found Peter to be hiding in just a few hours ago.

Since Wade arrived to the palace, he hadn't heard of anything from the prince himself. Just a few of the workers told him Peter wanted to be left alone, didn't want to be bothered.

Wade calls bullshit, and that's also suspicious.

But the sight of Peter, out of nowhere, landing right on the ground in front of his room seemed _much more_ suspicious.

{Superhero landing!}

[The fuck?! How did he survive that? He's like four stories above us! How did he land so smoothly?]

“The kid grew up here, he's good at a lot of things.” Wade waved the thought off, with a small wave of his hand. Focusing on how Peter looked sideways, pulled the beanie on his head further down, shoved his gloved hands inside the pockets of his thick jacket, and walked towards the forest.

The suitor had thought of turning his earpiece back on, tell the intern that he's going to follow the prince, and that the intern should just forget on having to go to sleep.

But then he remembered that if he fucked up with the prince one more time, he's going to get kicked out, and he _really_ doesn't want that.

With a groan, Wade slumped down on the floor.

Maybe he should put Peter further down on his list of priorities. Maybe Peter shouldn't be his concern. He is here to spy on people, not to actually court the prince.

But his feelings! They're getting in the way! He doesn't know what to do first.

He wants to make Peter laugh, and smile. But he needs to spy on these people, find out what shady shit is happening, report it to SHIELD.

Should he do what he wants to do, or what he needs to do - what he came here for?

[You came here to show Matt that you really are trying to be good. You came here because you wanted to show to everyone that you're actually human, that you're not as bad as what everyone makes you out to be. You're here to prove to everyone that you're actually capable of doing something good for once.]

[You're not here to make Peter happy. You're not here to make sure he's okay. You're not here to make him like you, to _love you._ Everyone knows no one can stand _this -_ us. The only reason that prince hasn't thrown us out is because he still hasn't seen our face, and that we've only fucked up once.]

[You're here to prove people wrong. Not to _hope_ Peter would actually one day love you.]

{Man, you're too harsh. Take it easy, I'm scared I might start crying soon.}

[The guy needs a wake up call before it's too late, before he fucks up everything. Everyone expects you to fuck this up, when we come home, we need to prove them wrong.]

[You're not here to fall in love. You're here with a mission, and you _need_ to stick by it. This mission is our ticket to people treating us better.]

{If our ticket to have people respecting us, is to spy on people here, then we've really hit rock bottom. And not the good kind.}

“Alright, alright, shut up shut up!” The scarred man yelled, his hands closed tight into a trembling fist, his eyes shut tight, and his breathing ragged.

He's always hated it when his voices confront him with his feelings on certain things.

He didn't even notice what he's actually wanted from the prince, from Peter… Sure, maybe he had this _really small_ hope in him, that Peter would appreciate his ways of courting, but he never really thought of it deeper than what the boxes had to say.

Like, come on, it's only been four days of being here. Wade isn't in that deep with his feelings towards the young prince. It's just infatuation, because the prince is really _beautiful_ that it makes Wade speechless, and the prince seemed sad and troubled, that Wade just wanted him to be happy. So what? It's infatuation, it's not getting him in any trouble.

{I agree, I say we go out there, and make sure Peter is safe. It's three in the morning who knows what might happen to him?}

Yeah, like, what if Peter is doing something shady, and it might be something useful that Wade could report to Underwood? He shouldn't miss this.

Next thing Wade knew, he's downstairs, already heading outside, but was stopped when one of his boxes spoke.

[Fine, go ahead. But when we get home, just kill yourself in the bathroom, it's easier to clean the blood there.]

{Who's the one overreacting now?}

“Who's there?” A timid voice from down the hall was heard, without hesitation he turned to where the voice came from. When the voice saw him in his full on red body suit with his mask on, the old lady slumped, didn't seem guarded anymore. “Oh it's you.”

“You've heard of me!” The suitor exclaimed, lifting his feet over to where the lady was retreating back, presumably the kitchen.

The whole palace was dark, didn't have any lights on, the only light source was from the kitchen, the door was widely open, allowing light to glimmer through the large hall.

Entering the kitchen, Wade found the lady wearing a robe, pouring hot water on a mug, her eyes looked tired as if she hadn't been sleeping, as if she was down here because she couldn't sleep.

Wade let himself sit on a stool from the counter where the old lady is making herself tea. His feet gently swinging back and forth, not in an irritating way, he just needed something he could do with his legs.

Surprisingly, she looked him over and raised the hot kettle slightly, offering. “Tea?”

“No thank you,” He'd politely said.

She set the kettle back on the stove, and turned back to Wade, mixing her tea with sugar. “So you're the new suitor.”

“That I am.” She set a teaspoon down, and narrowed her eyes at him. “And you are?” He narrowed his eyes back, resting his arms on the countertop, and slightly leaning forward.

“I'm his aunt.” She directly informed him, her tone sounded like what Wade would hear from a parent of someone he's dating. “I'm May.”

“Oooh.” He dragged out the word, head tilting back in an overdramatic way to let her know he understood. He looked back at her, and saw she was stood in front of a cabinet, reaching, and took out a tea bag. He looked to his side, and saw the time from a clock hanging on the wall nearby. It's three in the morning. “Couldn't sleep?”

“How could I? My nephew's out there doing whatever he does, and I'm not sure if he's safe or not.” She spoke as she was dipping the tea bag over her mug full of hot water.

Well, that's something. Wade hopes - _prays,_ that the camera over his belt buckle is on and is recording this, whatever he can get out of the prince's aunt. “Is he doing this every night?”

She replied with a nod, not looking at him, just at her mug. “Every other night, sometimes I can convince him not to leave at this late at night, but sometimes I can't and he just sneaks out. If anyone stops him, he takes longer to come home.”

“How long has he been doing it?”

May looked at him worriedly, the wrinkles on her face showed how the years have been on her. “Five years. Since… since his uncle died.”

“Oh.” Wade had thought of asking her if Peter’s uncle also killed himself, but he didn't, he's only talked to her once, he doubts she'd tell him. Also because that's just insensitive.

“It wasn't bad before. He'd just go out and sit on the trees and think. He just needed to be alone, I let him. But now he goes missing for days, he won't speak, he won't smile, I'm…” Her eyes were glossy, tears were almost welling up in there. “I'm worried for him. I don't know what he'll _do_ to himself. I'm scared. I can't sleep.”

“Hey,” Wade was immediately on his feet, to comfort the lady, but he's not good at comforting people, he's not good with people, he doesn't know how to comfort a crying aunt who's worried for her nephew. He thought of sitting back down, but he stood next to her as she cries to her hand. He awkwardly reaches out a hand of his to her shoulder. “He's twenty-one. Just like you said, he's been doing this for five years, I'm sure he's okay.” He nervously bit his scarred lip after, hoping that she won't caught on that he doesn't believe what he said himself, handing her a napkin he found resting by the countertop.

“You don't know that,” She said as she took the napkin from Wade’s hand, and wiped her tears away with it.

“Uhm… Do you want me to make sure? I can go out there right now.”

She looked at him with her red eyes, her cheeks already dried and smiled. “No, don't, he wouldn't like that.”

Wade took her lessened tears as a sign that she's okay. He removed his hand from her shoulder and sat back in his previous position on the wooden stool. “I'm good at being sneaky and not getting caught when I want to.”

“No no, I don't want anyone sneaking on him.”

“But you wanted to be sure he's okay.”

“I always find out he's okay when he comes back by lunch.” She forced a small smile to her lips, shrugging, as she stares down at her still hot mug of tea.

Wade only frowned. “I'll talk to him,” He paused. “I know he's sad, but there are people here who love him and are very worried, I want him to know that.”

As May brought her mug up to her lips, she gave Wade a genuine smile. Wade rarely received that. “God, I hope you're better than the other suitor.”

Well then.

Wade froze. He's frozen on the spot, on his seat. May mustn't have noticed as she's started walking away with her mug full of tea.

Peter has another suitor.

{Kill the other suitor and make it seem like he killed himself too.}

[No! Don't do that, Peter's already deep in his depression because everyone keeps dying.]

“Peter has another suitor?” So what if he squeaked out that question, he's surprised, sue him.

May stopped walking, turning around to face Wade. “Yes, Peter can have multiple suitors. Anyone can.”

“How many suitors does he have?”

May chuckled. “Just you and the other one that's been around the longest… Night, Wade.” She gave Wade another genuine smile, before walking down the hall with the small cup of tea.

{The other suitor has been around the longest… kill him.}

[Stop talking. We need the other suitor alive, him being alive only supports our theory that someone doesn't want us courting Peter.]

{Oh now you believe that theory!}

Scrambling, Wade wasn't looking and was too taken aback, that he fell from the stool while attempting to stand. The stool hitting the floor emitted a loud noise that rang throughout the large kitchen.

Whimpers escaped his mouth, but the pain soon subsided, allowing him to stand properly in the following second.

“Okay.” He breathed out. “Do we look for Peter or do we look for this suitor?” He asked the boxes, one hand on the counter to support his weight.

[It's three in the morning it's late to do any of that.]

“Look for Peter it is.”

○ ° . ☆ . ° ○ ☆ ○ ° . ☆ . ° ○

“Should I call this strike two or do you actually have a reason to be out here this late?”

Wade shrieked and fell from the shock. “Ah! My ass hurts! And it's _not_ the kind of hurt that I like it!” The scarred suitor rolled on his stomach and pointed his index finger to his ass. “Apologize!”

Technically, his ass didn't hurt, well, not anymore that is, he just likes being over dramatic because it annoys people. When Peter didn't make any move to apologize, Wade looked behind him and asked. “Uhm? Hello?”

The prince only crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from Wade who's still lying on the ground. “Are you following me again?”

“No I was looking for you.” Peter looked down at him, confused, Wade could tell the prince is about to ask ‘what the fuck is the difference?’ but he continued. “Following you and looking for you are two different things, alright! Following you means I've been following you since you left your room, and looking for you means I had no idea where you were!”

“Why are you looking for me? At this time?” The young male exasperatedly asked.

“Your aunt.” That caught Peter’s attention, for once the words left Wade, Peter's head snapped down at him, expecting him to say more. “She's so worried about you she can't sleep and just started crying while making tea.” Murmured Wade, his eyes fixed above him, large trees covering the night sky.

The suitor heard the prince let out a sigh, followed by the crumpling of leaves. Wade turned his head to see Peter sitting on the ground, his back leaning on the trunk of the tree behind him. “... I-I know she's worried.”

“Then why do you keep doing this to her?”

The young prince cackled a humorless laugh that had Wade looking away and focusing back on the leaves of trees above him. “You don't get to ask me that. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me, you don't know why I'm doing this, why I'm like this.”

“Then tell me.” He suggested, merely shrugging. “It's why I'm here, right? Get to know you and court you.”

“This is only the third time I'm with you, the second one had you strangling one of my people-”

“She was shady!”

“She wasn't harming anyone!”

“Okay okay, stop screaming, geez.” Beside him, he heard a huff from Peter. “Look, I'm gonna be a hypocrite to say this, but. Talking might help? I dunno, I heard people say that talking helps, and I want you to know that you can talk to me."

Silence.

Wade was expecting Peter to leave, to say something about how he doesn't trust Wade or anything close to that, instead it was silent.

Then the young male spoke after a long while. “You're a hypocrite.”

Raising his head a little, he stared at Peter. “What?”

“You said you'll be a hypocrite to say that, and you did, that means, you're a hypocrite.”

Dropping his head back on the ground, Wade uttered something close to a groan. “I'm making an effort to be serious here, Petey.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Peter drawing his knees close to his chest, then resting his head on top of them, his arms hugging his thighs closer to his body.

What a cutie.

“Sorry.” The youngest of them two apologized.

“What the shit? What, no, don't apologize!”

“I just said sorry, it's not that deep, Wade.”

Now was the time where Wade was praying to whoever that the camera by his belt buckle is recording this so he could play Peter saying his name over and over again. Or just pray that Peter will call him by his name from now on.

Act normal, he kept telling himself, he didn't want to freak Peter out.

But he couldn't handle it. The silence caused Peter to raise his head and stare down at Wade with those big brown eyes of his. Wade is freaking out!

“Wade?”

HOLY FUCK!! Wade can keep quiet for the whole night if it meant Peter would keep calling him by his name.

But he couldn't ignore Peter the whole night, that's like saying no to ice cream.

Yet he couldn't speak, he couldn't look away. He only stared, caught in the beauty of the prince before him. He stared into those tired deep brown eyes, he wished he could see clearly if it wasn't for the darkness of the forest and the lenses of his mask.

Peter truly was a beauty, never failing to take Wade's breath away. Wade wanted to run his fingers through the young male’s hair, trace his jawline and kiss his plump limps, that was unbearably pulled down to a frown Wade wished wasn't ever there.

His eyes, although is very beautiful - breathtaking even, screamed of sleepless nights, and worry. Wade wanted the sadness on Peter’s eyes to be taken away. He didn't want to see the sadness the tiredness in those beautiful eyes, he wanted only to see happiness.

It's only been a few days, how did he get in too deep?

Maybe it was the lack of being with people who couldn't bare his existence. People who only wanted to get away from him as fast as they could. People who didn't want him around, couldn't stand the thought that he still exists.

Maybe it was just because Peter wasn't like how everyone treated him.

But the only reason Peter doesn't treat him like anyone does, is because Peter still doesn't know him very well.

“Erm,” Wade cleared his throat, looking away from Peter’s heart melting gaze.

“Are you okay?” That fucking concerned look on his face was something Wade rarely saw.

He's only stopped talking for a few minutes and Peter is fucking concerned. Back home people didn't care that he'd get shot, when he's covering for them, that he'd lost a fucking limb ‘he'll heal, he's fine’ he always hears, which is true, but even then he still wouldn't have anyone concerned for him. He uses his own body as their shield when he helps, and he wouldn't receive any form of gratitude, except when Captain America is around.

But it's fine, he's used to it.

This. Peter, he's not. Even if it was something so little, this is something.

“How bad is it?” He'd blurted out the question it left Peter confused. “The nightmares. How bad are they?” Looking away from the thousands of leaves above him, he took a glance at the prince who didn't seem confused anymore, he was back to being just sad again.

“Bad enough that I don't even want to sleep anymore.”

“Tell me,” The suitor paused to sit up properly beside the beautiful prince, but not close enough to feel the prince's body heat. “What's worse? Sleeping and getting nightmares or staying up all night, thinking?”

The second Wade chose to glance at Peter again, he saw Peter staring deeply at him, like he's trying to figure out how a lunatic like Wade can talk to him like this. The prince's thick eyebrows were stitched together in confusion, coming up with an answer as Wade looked away not being able to hold such eye contact for too long.

“Can… C-Can you answer that for me? I-I really don't know.” His voice, it ached Wade to hear it. His voice was so weak, tired even, like he just wanted answers and he'll follow them, and hopefully get the chance to have the sleep he's been longing.

Without looking at the prince beside him, Wade answered. “It's different for everyone, Pete.”

“How is it for you? What do you do?”

“I don't kill myself three times a week, that's for sure!”

{Stop that, you're gonna scare him off.}

“I'm not scaring him off, shut the fuck up.” Realising he's said that out loud, he groaned.

“They said you were hearing voices.”

“Yeah, that's why I choose to sleep and deal with the nightmares, than stay up all night and deal with them.” He rested his back on the same tree Peter is leaning on. His bum almost numb from sitting on the cold hard soil for too long. He didn't make any comment regarding that.

The brunet was quiet for quite a while, but he spoke again. “How bad are they? The voices? The nightmares?”

“They're. . . They're bad,” He nods along to his own sentence, fiddling with a pocket knife just so he has something to do with his hands. “Makes me wish they don't exist. But… that's how life works. If we don't have shitty problems then our lives would be like vanilla ice cream, or a boring vanilla fuck.

“But I like vanilla ice cream.”

“Whelp. We don't get to choose what kind of ice cream we're gonna have. We just learn how to live with it.”

The older man wanted to ask the prince about why he has nightmares, what they're about, what caused them, how does he deal with them? But Wade thought it was too soon. So, he didn't ask.

Dropping the pocket knife to his lap, he continued. “You wanna come home now? If not, that's okay, but I have to stay with you the whole time.”

Peter rested his head back on top of his knees again. “My aunt sent you to watch me?”

“No. I promised her I'll talk to you… Tomorrow.” He let out a soft chuckle after. “I just wanted to make sure you're okay.”

“I'm okay… I just want to be alone for a while.” Wade only stared at him. He scoffed. “I'm not going to kill myself-”

“Not saying that - You,” He stopped, watching the prince's expression. “You're in pain.” He breathed out, almost groaning when Peter rolled his eyes and turned away.

“I'm not a kid. If I said I want to be alone, I want to be alone.” The brunet finished quietly, tired of the conversation. “Go back, sleep, or whatever, just don't follow me, don't bother me. _I'm okay_.”

Wade stayed seated, watching Peter's figure slowly disappear from his sight, and into the dark of the night. He stood and went back to his room on the palace.

[I hope you'll take that as a sign that you shouldn't even bother with him anymore, he's only getting in the way of the mission anyway.]

He doesn't know if his attempt to make Peter feel a little better worked or not. But one thing's for sure, is that tomorrow, his focus is on the mission.

Find out who the other suitor is. Find out if he has anything to do with the mysterious deaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want to see something happen or whatever, or suggest something, feedback, it'd be lovely! Hope you enjoyed this! Have a lovely day!


	6. island of daughters

_ “Why do you have to go?” _

 

_ “I'm… I'm not stable enough to be around you.” _

 

_ “You're doing okay now.” _

 

_ “I can't be okay every second of every day.” _

 

_ “Can you try?” She asked. Not one ounce of determination left, she's still holding tight onto Wade’s gloved hand. “For me?” _

 

_ “I'm sorry.” Wade didn't have to say more, Emily knew what he wanted, for she already has Ellie’s other hand, and convinced her to let go of Wade. _

 

_ And as the door was shut in front of him, as he walked away, the last thing he thought, was that he didn't get to tell his daughter that he loves her. The last thing she'll hear from him is a choked out I'm sorry. The last thing she'll remember from him is that he doesn't even want to try to get better, that he can't get better, that he doesn't want her to get involved in whatever shit he's in. _

 

Wade jumped at the sound of a gentle knock coming from the wooden door of his room. How long had he been overthinking? How long had he zoned out? 

 

By the clock on top of the bedside table, it's nine in the morning, he didn't get to have any sleep last night. His heartbeat was still erratic from the shock of someone knocking. Looking down on the mask on his lap, he stood and wore the mask.

 

When he opened the door, the same boy who had been bringing him breakfast was there, his name was Billy, and Wade had just learned that Teddy, one of the guards, is Billy’s boyfriend. (By learned, Wade meant eavesdropping while walking around the palace yesterday.) 

 

Wade, still not in the right mind, just politely thanked Billy for bringing breakfast, and accepted the tray of food, surprising the boy for not making any bad jokes as he softly closed the door, and set the tray on one of the tables.

 

Exhaling loudly, Wade fell back on the chair he was previously sitting on. He leaned back and rubbed his face in frustration.

 

He doesn't even know why he's frustrated, he just is, and it's making him even more frustrated because he doesn't know exactly why the fuck he's frustrated.

 

Examining the state of the room, everything is still the way it is. The room slightly darker, because Wade wouldn't open the curtains, the bed still made because Wade hadn't slept on it since yesterday. His suit is folded neatly on the couch, one of the people who works here had washed and dried it for him just this morning, and gave him a lot of comfortable long sleeves, jeans, sweatpants, hoodies, just clothes he'll be most comfortable in. They're aware he isn't comfortable showing more skin, and he would cry of happiness because they're okay with that, but he's ran out of tears decades ago. Decades would be exaggerating, but it just feels like it's been decades, so.

 

Suddenly, the comm resting on the table beside the tray of his breakfast started lighting up. Wade reached for it, turned it on, and wore it to his ear, hearing the interns baritone voice.

 

《Ever noticed how people here are treating Peter like they're all just pals?》

 

“Underwood, I don't know. Maybe it's because it's 2016? I don't really care.”

 

There was silence for a few seconds, maybe it's because Wade’s voice isn't booming in the comm, and he's calling the intern by his last name  _ properly.  _ But Underwood spoke shortly after. 《Okay… But this is our mission, this is serious, we need to read into every detail here, not one detail is useless.》

 

“You want me to read into every detail? Listen.” Wade sat properly, looking straight in front of him as if he's having this conversation with Underwood in the same room. “There are exactly thirty-two people in here, there aren't any kids, the youngest one here is the shady eighteen year old kid who was taking pictures of me and Peter that one time. Most of the people here are people without any blood related families, either they died or there just aren't any around-”

 

《What are you saying?》

 

“I'm saying let me finish,” Wade snapped. Quickly realizing that, he sighed and apologized. “Sorry… I'm saying. People here don't have anyone else, so they treat each other like family.”

 

《Oh… Why don't they have anyone else?》

 

Rolling his mask up, Wade started to eat on the toast on his plate, sipped on his coffee, and spoke when he's swallowed. “That's what I'm trying to figure out. I didn't want to ask too many questions, might come off as suspicious.”

 

《Did you learn all that overnight? Or did you just not tell me all five days you've been there?》

 

“Learned a few of them over the past few days, I just connected a few dots this morning.” 

 

From the other line, Underwood seemed to be eating breakfast as well. 《Didn't get any sleep?》

 

“Nope,” The suitor shrugged, answered and asked a question later with a mouth full of eggs. “You?”

 

《No. Had to babysit my nephew and he cried all night.. I saw on the recorded videos you talked to Peter last night, you got anything?》

 

As he chewed slowly, Wade tried his best not to vocalise his thought of how he felt about the intern invading his privacy by watching what Wade had done the night before. He never really cared about these kinds of things, but the talk he had with peter last night was genuine, he was talking about how he felt and he really wouldn't want anyone knowing that he talks about his feelings on late nights with a certain sad prince.

 

The intern must've had a hunch of how Wade felt of the situation.《The mic was off, you didn't have your comm then, didn't get anything. S’why I'm asking.》

 

Relieved, Wade answered when his mouth wasn't full anymore. “Erm.” He cleared his throat, continued. “I met his aunt last night, said Peter's uncle died five years ago, and he's been depressed since, running around the island, hiding away from everyone, stopped speaking, stopped smiling, she said.”

 

《So that's the reason? But it's been five years… How did his uncle die? Did his uncle also kill himself?》

 

“Didn't get to ask. But his aunt is scared he'll just snap and kill himself any day now.” Wade set down the cup of coffee and frowned. “He also told me he get nightmares, s’why he just stays up and runs around the dark, and draws on the day.”

 

《Oh.》

 

“Also found out there's another suitor around here. And that he's been around the longest, but I still don't know who he is and that's making me mad.”

 

《So you know that there's exactly thirty-two people on the island, and that they treat each other like family. But you still don't know who the other suitor is?》

 

“That's why I just said it's making me mad?!” Exclaimed Wade, followed by a loud groan later, slumping back in his chair. “This is harder than I thought’d be. Can we just fast forward to the part where someone kills me and we tell Coulson that person did it?” Finishing his cup of coffee, he stood and pushed the curtains to the side, hissing at the sudden sunlight that hit his eyes through the mask.

《Except the deaths are suicide, no one killed them, it wouldn't really make any sense-》

 

“I'll just frame someone and kill myself then.”

 

《Wade… You said you'll take this seriously-》

 

“Holy shit fuck,” He cursed, immediately crouching so the top of his head down to just below his eyes would be peaking by the window. His eyes narrowed as the shady girl from a few days back was walking just below him, she was wearing a backpack, her hood was pulled in on her head, hiding most of her face as she walks toward somewhere Wade couldn't see.

 

Wade dashed across the room and into his other window and crouched, watching as the girl open a window from the floor beneath him and step inside.

 

《What just happened? I didn't see.》

 

“That girl with the camera, I just saw her enter through a window.” 

 

[Maybe it's just her room.]

 

“It is her room.” Wade confirmed, pulling down his mask, and wore a hoodie of his own, because a long sleeved shirt just isn't enough. 

 

《What are you going to do?》

 

“Ask me that again,” He requested, sliding on a pair of shoes he was given.

 

《What are you going to do?》Underwood repeated, not even hesitating and Wade wanted to laugh.

 

He pulled the hood over his masked head, and answered. “I'm gonna do,” He paused just to narrow his eyes. “The doodoo.”

 

Just as he stepped out of his room, he bumped into Cassie, a blonde girl who also works around the palace. “Oh you're finished with your breakfast? I'm just gonna go in and clean it up, if that's okay?”

 

“That's totally okay! Uhm,” He reached down into the pockets of his jeans and fiddled around for any money, but when he pulled his hand out, he only had a packet of ketchup. He slid the packet of ketchup on the pocket of Cassie’s button up, and patted it. “Sorry, I don't really know where I left my wallet.”

 

The young lady only laughed, pulling out the packet of ketchup and examined it in front of Wade. “Erm, this expired three weeks ago.” At that she laughed harder, and it brought a smile to Wade's face. People here are so nice and soft Wade wanted to hug and protect every one of them, he wanted to stay here longer and make every one of them laugh and smile. “But anyway, don't worry, we don't do money here, we don't get paid.”

 

“Don't get paid?”

 

“Yeah, as long as we do any work, we get to stay. It's how it's always been here.” Her smile showed how genuinely happy she is despite not getting paid.

 

“You love it here,” Wade stated the obvious.

 

She just smiled and Wade really likes her, he loves being around happy people, they just bring so much positivity. “Yeah it's my home. The people here is my home… even though things are.. not going well, this place is the only one I have left.”

 

“Things are not going well?” As soon as the words left,  Wade wanted to take them back, he wanted to time travel to the past just so he hadn't asked that question, because she frowned and looked away.

 

“A-A lot of people died, for some reason, my-my dad's one of em.” She shook her head and looked up to Wade with an apologetic smile. “I really don't want to talk about it, I'm sorry.”

 

“No no, uhm, it's okay.... Uh, do you want a hug?” He asked, not opening his arms because he thought she wouldn't want a hug from him, he just wanted to seem empathetic, and was taken aback when her eyes were almost welling with tears, as she nodded, walking towards him to wrap her pale arms around his waist.

 

Still shocked, he wrapped his arms on top of her shoulders, her head on his chest. She wasn't crying, Wade could tell that she'd only just closed her eyes. 

 

The last person he's hugged was his daughter, and that was at least two years ago. Now he's hugging Cassie, and it feels just the same. He's offering comfort, and reassurance that everything would be okay.

 

This place is doing things to him.


	7. island of eventful mornings

Wade has always been an unusual kid. In grade school, he wasn't one of those gross kids, he was just straight up strange, loud, and loved annoying people.

 

He didn't grow up here, in this island. He doesn't know how kids work around here, he doesn't know what they do for fun.

 

But he knows a creepy unusual shit when he sees one.

 

He's done  _ a lot  _ of creepy things in the past. So much that sometimes he doesn't even realise that what he's doing is creepy as fuck, that it's not what normal functioning human beings do.

 

But as always, there are lines, borders. He knows when he's taking it too far, and when it's still okay for him to continue being the fucked up person he is.

 

Sure, Wade has admired numerous people, he's followed them around sometimes, get to know them without them even having to talk to him, he's done creepy shit that he should go to jail for, shit he should be ashamed of, but  _ this.  _ This room, where he's standing in, is another level of fuckery that Wade wouldn't even dare dip his toes in.

 

He's been standing on the same spot for who knows how long, only snapping out of it when Underwood had yelled at him for the fifth time.

 

Lifting his leg, he walked around the room, his brain and tongue are still on pause, but his eyes are studying this fucked up room.

 

The room belonged to the shady kid, he saw her this morning below his window, and now he managed to break in by using the window he saw her enter from.

 

His mouth was still slightly open from shock, his eyes ran around the room, his ears almost bleeding from Underwood’s panicked voice.

 

There are pictures.

 

There are pictures on the wall, on every surface of every thing on the room, there are even some that are still resting on the printer.

 

They're all of him. Some of them are from when he was with Peter, but they're mostly of him.

 

He thought if this were to happen any day, he'd be flattered, he'd gush and jump around, because hey someone's taking their time to take pictures of him without his consent. But now that it's in front of him, he's lost for words. He can't think of what to say, he can't say anything.

 

“You're seeing this, right? I didn't swallow any pill that they put on my breakfast?” He asked after a long moment of him taking in the room.

 

《Y-Yeah, this.. this is real, alright.》The voice of the intern actually gave him a little sense of comfort, made him feel he's not alone and that he isn't seeing things again.

 

“Fuck,” He breathed out, grabbing an a4 sized printed picture of him from the printer, like it was printed just a few moments ago. Studying the picture, he realised this was taken last night, when he was looking around the forest for Peter. It was dark, he was barely seen on the photo. “I fucking knew she was shady. I called it! I should have bet money on this, just think of all the things I could've bought!”

 

《Don't yell. You're sneaking in, someone might be around.》The suitor ignored what the intern had to say. 

 

He knew she was being suspicious, but he didn't think she would be this fucked up. He'd thought about doing this, but he didn't because he thought it was wrong on so many levels, and that's coming from him.

 

For one it is an invasion of privacy (hah), and two it's just fucked up (hah), and three, it's just fucked up! People should only do this if they're solving a crime and they need every information they could get their hands on.

 

(He's fucked up and he invades people's privacy, but the only reason he hasn't done this yet, is because he thinks it's just a waste of time and space.)

 

《Why do you think she's doing this?》

 

“Fuck if I know.” Came his immediate answer, putting the photo down to where he got it from, making sure it still looked the same incase she would come back and notice any changes. “This kid is sick in the brain.”

 

He walked to another corner, and examined another picture on one of the tables. It was of him and Peter talking last night, at the forest by three in the morning, when he was talking to Peter about nightmares and not being able to sleep. He felt a shudder at the thought of someone watching them, listening, actually being there. He never thought having his privacy invaded would feel like this. 

 

The longer he surveyed the state of the room, the more disgusted he felt.

 

And here he thought he was the one doing the spying on people job.

 

_ It's too early for this. _

 

Abruptly, Wade's head turned to the direction where he heard a noise, it was from the halls outside, he heard footsteps that echoed the quiet halls, and talking.

 

Without hesitation, he left through the window he'd entered a minute ago.

 

Just because he was in a hurry doesn't mean he didn't have the time to pocket one or two pictures.

 

○ ° . ☆ . ° ○ ☆ ○ ° . ☆ . ° ○

 

《Maybe she's into you?》

 

The halls were just as quiet as he'd thought, he could hear his own breathing as well as his footsteps. With the shake of his head, he gave the intern an answer. “No, can't be it. If she was, she'd ‘a done something by now, give signs or whatever. She's taken pictures of me without the mask, I doubt she'd like me.”

 

《You don't know that.》

 

“What do you want me to do? Confront her?” He scoffed, stopping by a large opened window. He rested his arms then, and stared outside. 

 

And when he spotted Peter sitting by a bench sketching his aunt, he felt a small smile make its way onto his lips. They were both protected from the rays of the sun, by the large trees giving them shade.

 

He doesn't know if the prince does this often, interact with his aunt. Or maybe Peter was just doing this because he felt bad for pushing everyone away.

 

He wonders if Peter is also good with a camera.

 

Even from this distance, Wade still found the prince beautiful, no one could tell him otherwise. 

 

Just from staring at Peter, Wade had already forgotten that he was disturbed by what he'd discovered just a while ago, only remembering when the intern had spoken.

 

《So, what are you going to do with her?》

 

“I'm supposed to be the one to ask you that-” He was stopped from completing his sentence when he was pulled into a room. He didn't notice there was a door there, let alone a room, he was just grabbed by the waist and dragged in, with a hand covering his mouth to silence him if he were to yell. He didn't even feel like yelling, he's been pulled to too many things nothing scares him anymore.

 

The hand was still on his mouth, though the mask is stopping that person from feeling his skin. His eyes were open though, so he looked around and notice he was in some sort of security room because the room is filled with computers and video feed of security cameras that surrounded the palace.

 

Wade knew what was going on before someone even had the chance to inform him.

 

When the hand was removed from his mouth, he turned around and saw Gwen, still wearing a lab coat, her hair still held up by an elastic band, and she didn't look happy.

 

“Do you know why you're here?”

 

Fiddling with the ends of the sleeves of his hoodie, he looked around the large room, like he was a kid in trouble. “Uhm? You caught me doing the wank? And that's illegal here?” Wade was stalling, he knew it, she knew it. He just needed some time to think of a lie as to why she caught him sneaking into one of the workers’ room. He's praying Underwood would say something.

 

《Uhm uhm. Fuck, I can't think of anything. I'm not a real agent!》Underwood cried. If it was any other time, Wade would spend the time to laugh.

 

She clearly wasn't having any of his stalling, she just grew more suspicious, as she crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at him. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared of her. “Wade, why did you break into Bella’s room?”

 

Dodging the question, he continued to study the room, which was surprisingly lacking a few people who'd watch over the recordings. “I've never been to this room, but I'm pretty sure there are more ducklings-”

 

“Listen here.” She grabbed his arm with so much force than he thought she was capable of. “I can show Peter that you just broke into one of the kids’ rooms, and he wouldn't think twice about throwing you out. You know, I won't even need proof and he'll believe me, because he doesn't even want you, he doesn't want you around, even asked me to get rid of you. So you better have a good reason as to why you just did that, and none of this would reach him.”

 

Well, that hurt. And he's not talking about the pain on his arm. She just threw up on him about how Peter doesn't want anything to do with him, while he's here completely smitten for the guy.

 

With his eyes narrowed, he ignored the pain on his arm. Ignoring pain is what he's good at, he should have an award for that. “If he doesn't want anything to do with me, why don't you just get rid of me then?”

 

“Because.” She let go of his arm with a shove, and straightened her posture. “You're the only person who could make him laugh, even if he doesn't want to… Remember your first day here? Everyone was surprised you got to make him laugh and Peter didn't realise that. When he did, he wanted you gone. But everyone here didn't, that's why you're still here, and why I want a good reason to what you just did. Do you know how mad Peter would get if he found out?-”

 

“I get it - just,” He stopped himself at lost for words once again, rubbing his gloved hands to his masked face. He couldn't explain it, doesn't know how to tell her, he's a hundred percent sure she wouldn't believe him even if he tried to tell her what he just saw.

 

《Show her the room! Tell her what you saw!》

 

Biting his chapped lip, he did as he was told, he dove one of his hands into one of his pouches, and handed Gwen a picture of him, that he snatched from Bella’s room. “There's more from where that came from,” He grumbled, watching her expression as she took the image from his hand. “Literally, there's like a hundred of me in there.”

 

He watched as her confused expression turned to a shock, and maybe a little uncomfortable too. She glanced at him with wide eyes then back down to another picture that Wade handed her. “She's… She's taking pictures of you?”

 

Taking a step back, he sat on a chair that has wheels and he started to push himself around. “Yeah, she's actually good at it, if you ask me.” She stared at him with wide eyes again as if she couldn't believe he's being so casual about this. He freaked out about this a while ago, now it's just another thing that's happened to him. It's not that bad really. “What? Look at the lighting, I almost look pretty in those.”

 

“You're not bothered by this?”

 

“Of course I am. But creepier people have done creepier things. Plus, just look at those photos! She's good at what she does!”

 

She shook her head, handed him the photos back, and started to nervously pace around the room. “I-I don't know what to do. Do I - Do I tell Peter? Do we tell anyone? I don't really want to get her in trouble but what she's doing isn't right.”

 

“I snuck in her room, that's also not right.”

 

《Shut up.》

 

“But what she did is worse! She's invading your privacy!-”

 

“I also invaded her privacy by breaking in.”

 

《Wade, shut the fuck up!》

 

Gwen turned to him and stopped her pacing. “What are you saying?”

 

Sighing, he stopped spinning himself on the chair, and leaned back, praying he won't throw up. “Hey, this kid, how old is she? Eighteen? Seventeen?-”

 

“Sixteen.”

 

“-Sixteen, wow she's younger than I thought. She's doing something that isn't just creepy but straight up suspicious and shady. I don't want Peter to find out, I don't want him to stress about all of this. So I'm just gonna go and find out myself,” He sighed, turning his head to look at Gwen.

 

“How are you sure she isn't just into you?”

 

“Stop right there, lady! I've been dealing with creepy and suspicious people longer than Peter has been alive - okay, that is an exaggeration, but still. I'm good at my job that's why heroes still want me around. So let me just figure this out myself, and don't tell Peter.” He answered, gripping on the desk to spin himself on the chair again.

 

“How are you going to figure this out yourself? You've been here for a week.”

 

“Then I get help from you.”

 

While spinning, he heard Gwen sigh from somewhere he can't tell because he's spinning way too fast. “How am I going to help you?”

 

Reaching out, he grabbed the desk again to stop himself from spinning, staring right into Gwen’s eyes. He could've looked more serious and deadly if he wasn't wearing the mask. “You're going to tell me who the other suitor is.”

 

Shocked, confused, a little bit of both, she answered nonetheless and he couldn't be any more grateful. “The other suitor is Thompson, what does he have anything to do with this? He hasn't left his room in a while, he's still recovering.”

 

Disappointed, Wade slumped back into his chair, and stared at the ceiling. He's never heard that name before, and knowing that the guy is sick just made it out as the guy ‘Thompson’ doesn't have anything to do with this. That's probably why Wade hasn't seen him yet, he's resting on a bed somewhere. “You sure he hasn't been talking to anyone?”

 

“Peter visits him sometimes, but other than that, he's mostly just sleeping on his room because he can't really leave.”

 

“Why's he sick?”

 

She took a step back and sat on another chair. “Accident. Had to replace one of his kidneys.”

 

Taking in all the information, he raised his eyebrows at the mention of accident. “Accident? What happened?”

 

“Okay, it wasn't an accident... Someone tried to kill him.” She didn't look bothered that he was asking way too many questions than necessary, if she was, she didn't show it. He was just about to ask her who attempted the murder, but she gave him an answer long before he had the chance to ask. “You met Cassie, right?” His answer was a nod of his head. “Her dad, Scott, tried to kill Thompson, he failed, then he killed himself after.”

 

《That's another person on the list who've committed suicide on this place.》

 

“That's - That's how he died?” By his reaction, it made Gwen fully aware that he cares for people, and wow he really hates having people know that he's capable of caring.

 

Gwen bit her lower lip and looked away, giving him a nod after. “W-We don't really know why he did it. It just - It just happened - I-I watched it happen-”

 

“We don't have to talk about it, it's.. it's okay.” She still wasn't looking at him. She might be on the verge of crying and she doesn't want him to see. Wade would want the same. Standing, he looked around the place, and pulled the hood of his jacket over his masked head. “Yeah, uhm, I'm gonna go to Peter - I won't tell him anything, just normal courting stuff… I'll figure out what's the deal with Bella later tonight, as you can already tell, I don't do well on the job when the large fireball of a star is there to watch over me.” He finished, waving his hand over the computer which showed a feed of him breaking into Bella’s room.

 

“Yeah, erm,” She cleared her throat and rose, facing him. “Listen.” She's doing that thing again, with the touching his arm thing, but now it's more gentle, presumably because she already know that his motives aren't anything that would be of harm to anyone. “I really like you for Peter. I'd really want Peter to choose you over Thompson any day. So don't mess this up. Bring him lunch, don't forget the meatloaf he loves those, maybe a few pencils too because sometimes he loses them when he's running around.” Wade wanted to laugh because she sounds like a mom but he stopped himself. “Okay erm, I'll try and help figure out the Bella situation. You go out there and court Peter.”

 

He laughs genuinely as he was ushered outside. He did not miss the look on her eyes as she looked at him with such kindness, the look that was rarely thrown at him, but here, he received it just by being polite, by being their friend.

 

If he tried hard enough, he could fool himself into thinking that these people really are his friends. That they're not just his mission.

 

○ ° . ☆ . ° ○ ☆ ○ ° . ☆ . ° ○

 

It took him by surprise to find out the people here really do like him for Peter, for once he stepped foot on the kitchen they were smiling as they handed him a tray of Peter’s brunch, and gently shoved him again outside of the palace towards where Peter is sitting just in front of the lake, where Wade was watching him just a while ago.

 

But when Wade had gotten there, Peter's aunt wasn't there anymore, she must've left, must've gotten too cold for her.

 

Wade was only wearing the same hoodie he'd been wearing since the early morning, nothing underneath, he was a little cold, but he wasn't complaining, he's always enjoyed the cold. The weather was one of the things that made him feel like he's human, that he's capable of feeling.

 

When the suitor reached the prince, he set the tray just beside Peter, and sat on the cold ground, careful as to not slip into the cold lake just beside him.

 

“I brought ya some brunch!” The smile on his face was as wide and as genuine as it could get.

 

The brunet looked up from his sketchbook, to Wade and to the tray of food resting on the ground. “Thank you, Wade. That's very thoughtful of you.”

 

“Are you being sarcastic? or?”

 

Peter frowned, and immediately reassured Wade he wasn't mocking him or in any way being sarcastic. “No no, I really am grateful, thank you.”

 

“Oh, that's, nice.. when you're around people who don't like you almost everyday it gets hard to tell when people are being sarcastic or not,” He laughs after, turning to the small body of water just to dip an inch of his gloved finger into it.

 

He wasn't facing Peter anymore, so he didn't really get any chance to see the younger man's expression, but he is being quiet.

 

“Did you make these?”

 

“Hell no,” He laughs louder, his smile almost causing some of the skin near his mouth hurt. “No, it was this sweet boy, Eli. You should tell him he's doing a great job, he seems like he doesn't get enough praise than he deserves.”

 

“You like him.”

 

“I love everyone here!” 

 

Why is he being so honest all of a sudden? Not that he minds, he's just starting to feel like whenever he's with Peter he just gets all  _ weird.  _ Maybe it's the being attracted to him thing, maybe that's what people who's attracted to other people do. They get all weird and honest, like it would pain them if they were to ever lie. Being attracted to people is hard work, Wade doesn't like it, not one bit. Pretty soon, he's going to start talking about his  _ feelings,  _ and holy fuck he's going to choke himself if that ever happens.

 

Squinting, he bites his tongue inside of his mouth, and hopes to god he won't spew so much truth the next time he talks.

 

Right now he's just thankful Underwood isn't around anymore. He told Wade that he needed some sleep, and that he was going to pass out on his desk if he didn't get any soon. Wade let him, since he won't be doing anything important until later on this evening when he'll be sneaking around, and figure out the whole Bella thing.

 

But of course, this was still their job. Underwood left him with a task, a task so simple yet he's dreading to complete.

 

“That's. . That's good.” He heard Peter say. When he took a second to glance at the brunet, he saw Peter already setting down his sketchbook and lifted the tray to rest them over his thighs. Wade looks away again.

 

_ This is a mission. You aren't here to court him, you're here to get him to trust you. Do what you were told to do. _

 

Wade ignored that ugly ass voice and looked around, noticed the bed of flowers surrounding the area. “Say, you ever knew how to make a flower crown?”

 

“A what?” The brunet asked with a mouthful of food. Wade almost smiled at the sight.

 

“Flower crowns,” He said, standing, and walking over to a bush of flowers. Plucking a few dozen as he walks around the forest surrounding them, out of Peter’s sight for a couple minutes.

 

When he returned, he had his arm full of colorful flowers, and he sat back to where he was seated just a while ago, setting his pile of flowers beside him. Peter was still eating, but he was watching.

 

“You know my aunt grew those flowers.”

 

The suitor’s fingers were frozen then, he'd stopped tangling the stems of the flowers altogether when Peter had decided to tell him who had planted the flowers.

 

Forget about the wanting to choke himself when he's started to talk about his feelings, he wanted to choke himself now because Peter just broke out onto a laugh. Like full out laughing, he threw his head back and he's laughing, for fucksakes.

 

“No no, I'm sorry, I was just kidding, I'm sorry. I don't even know who grew those flowers, sorry.”

 

All Wade did was laugh with Peter, he couldn't help it, Peter smiling and laughing was just too contagious. “Fuck you, man, fuck,” He laughs, throwing some flowers on Peter’s chest. “I was scared, I thought you'd throw me out for real now.”

 

“I know, I'm sorry.” The younger man had managed to say, as both of their laughter had slowly died down. 

 

After a while, Peter had continued eating, and Wade focused on making a flower crown. He'd learned to make them when he visited his daughter a few years back, she was so energetic, so full of life, she couldn't calm down she wanted to show Wade everything about her life, Wade just smiled and enjoyed the time he had.

 

Now he's here, sitting in comfortable silence, with a prince who's eating just beside him, a prince he's courting, someone he has a strong liking to. Okay maybe strong liking isn't a thing, but he doesn't want to admit that he's really enjoying the time he has with Peter.

 

Sometimes, being reminded that he's just here for a job makes him feel like shit.

 

“Here! It's done!” The scarred one yelped, raising the crown made of flowers neatly tangled together. Peter set his tray down and swallowed his drink before accepting Wade’s gift. 

 

Wade grinned at how small and adorable Peter suddenly looked. He looked like a young man who didn't have to worry about everything for a while, like how he should have been for the last few years instead of having restless nights. 

 

For a moment, Peter looked like he wanted to believe what Wade saw.

 

The few light rays of the sun kissed Peter’s warm pale skin, causing his dusted pink cheeks to be more visible as well as the dark bags under his tired eyes, and the few worry lines that appeared over the last few years. His already dark colored hair appeared lighter under the sun, and his doe brown eyes seemed much  _ more  _ beautiful than Wade remembers.

 

He's staring, he knows, he's just confused why Peter still had not looked away, broken his intense gaze.

 

He jinxed it, for a second later, the young brunet’s smile had dropped, he had looked away, and stared at the body of water just inches away from them.

 

Wade cleared his throat, and stared down at his lap. From the corner of his eye, he saw Peter take the flower crown off of his head, staring down at it with his hands. He watched as the young man fiddled around with the stem, not bothered by thorns, and pull off some of the petals.

 

When he glanced behind him, where the palace is, where he came from, he saw May staring at them. Wade waved at her, and she immediately smiled and waved back, giving Wade a thumbs up as if to say that he was doing a great job. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her water some of the plants, the other kids were helping her.

 

Wade remembered his mission, his top priority as of now. He remembered what Underwood had told him before the intern had left. 

 

He didn't want to do what he was told, what he promised Underwood. But he is here because of a job, not to think about anyone's feelings.

 

“You know, I envy you. Like, a lot,” He uttered, turning his attention back to his hands on his thighs. He continued when Peter didn't seem to be saying anything. “I'd kill just to be you for a day,” He paused, squinting a bit as he looked up. The lenses of the mask didn't protect his eyes from the burning sun. “You have everything, and I'm not talking about literal things. I'm talking about the family you have here who loves you, really love and care for you, like they'd be worried if something bad were to happen to you.” Looking away from the sky, he stared back down at the lake. “Yet you're here, all alone by yourself, you're pushing everyone away.”

 

He knew he hit a nerve when he heard Peter take a deep breath. “We… We talked about this.” Peter wasn't looking at him when he said that, but Wade could tell he was slowly shaking his head.

 

He tried to tell himself that what he's telling Peter is exactly what he feels, that it's not just because he's squeezing an answer out of the prince. 

 

He swallowed the lump in his throat that was the size of a ball, it was work, but the hardest part of it all, was that he's doing this is because he promised Underwood that he'll find out why Peter is this sad.

 

“You have actual real people caring for you and you're always out here. You're avoiding them.”

 

[Oh my god, Peter is gonna start crying soon, stop.]

 

{Forget about our job, Peter crying and hating us is so much worse than going back to New York a loser! Please! I don't want to die like this!}

 

There were warning bells so loud they were deafening him, but Peter’s rugged breathing only showed him that Peter is going to lash out on him if he continued. “You have everything,” He breathed out.

 

“Yeah, I know, I'm so lucky. It's not like I watched almost everyone I've ever loved die right in front of me. It's not like even when I sleep I still watch them die, over and over again. No, not at all-” Wade didn't dare take the risk to glance at the younger male. Peter was most probably about to cry, from how bad his voice is shaking. “I'd rather have  _ nothing, _ than have to deal with  _ this, _ you have no idea, so don't fucking sit there and tell me, that I'm an ungrateful little bitch!”

 

Wade sat there, he let the cold breeze hit his skin without any care. All he thought was that he did as he was told, and he executed that well. He got an answer out of Peter.

 

The reason for the prince's sulking and pushing everyone away, is because he's watched most of the people he loved die, whether in front of him or not, he seemed to be blaming himself a lot for it. 

 

But that didn't matter, the only thing that matters most, is that now he knows it isn't just the two SHIELD agents that died here. Cassie’s dad killed himself, and most of the people Peter loves also died for some reason, so bad it's caused him to be like this.

 

Now that he's sure more deaths have happened here, he just needs to figure out what caused it.

 

All of them tied to Peter, Peter almost always seemed to be involved.

 

Maybe it's him, Peter himself.

 

But how could he have caused it if he's the one affected the most?

 

_ It's too early for this. _

 

He'll figure this out when Underwood is with him later. Now he has to deal with an almost crying Peter.

 

“Maybe I shouldn't push you away, so you'll leave me. And maybe you'll die too.” Was Peter’s last words to him before he left Wade sitting alone.

 

He turned off the camera hidden on his body and fell back with a groan, closing his eyes.

 

_ It's too early for this. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna update every Thursday with 5k words, how's that? Anyway, if you can, I'd really appreciate constructive criticism, because I'd really want to know what you all think of my writing. I want to fix some things that I'm doing wrong, and I want to improve myself.
> 
> Anyway, shit's about to go down, buckle your seat belts, kids


	8. island of movies

Laughter

 

Laughter. It was surrounding him. Not only that, complete joy and contentedness. These kids, (not exactly kids, they're about on the age range of fifteen to nineteen, but they're small and loud. Wade is not going to miss the chance to call them kids.) They're not alarmed, or worried that a masked ex mercenary is sitting beside them, watching a movie with them. Bubbling with laughter, eyes filled with nothing but amusement. Calm, nothing was to their worries.

 

Not alarmed, or worried, at least that's what Wade believes, what he tells himself.

 

Cut him some slack, if anyone were to look around the room he's in, you wouldn't spot any weapons that would be used against him, or anything to protect themselves from him. Not one person glaring, narrowing their eyes, or watching every movement that came from him, sitting or standing somewhere far in the corner of the room, where they think he wouldn't be looking, where they think he doesn't know they're there. No one's annoyed just by his existence alone.

 

After doing the math in over an hour, halfway into  _ Toy Story, _ Wade has come to the conclusion that these kids don't mind him being around for their movie night.

 

If braiding Cassie’s hair while watching a kids movie is anything to go by, Wade would say that these kids don't mind him being around them at all.

 

This is a total change of environment.

 

And fuck, how does that make Wade feel?

 

“Ow, you're pulling too tight.”

 

“Cassie Cassie Cassie.” He clicked his tongue on every pause of the kid's name with a shake of his head. “Has anyone ever told you that pain is beauty? I don't think anyone has, so I'm telling you this now. ‘Pretty hurts, get over it.’ You think pretty people are comfortable? Hell no they aren't. They're all crying on the inside, maybe a little dead too, but hey! At least they're pretty, right?”

 

The fifteen year old girl is laughing on the floor as Wade kept braiding her hair from the couch. “Pretty hurts, got it, Wade.”

 

“Wait, no, for real. Does it really hurt that bad? I can loosen it a bit,” he whispered when he's leaned close enough for her to hear. “Not that I care, or anything, psh.”

 

She was still laughing lightly when she gave him an honest answer. “No no, it's fine. America braids my hair tighter. This is okay.” Her eyes were still focused on the screen as she continued her conversation with Wade. “Plus, it's not everyday I have an ex mercenary braiding my hair.” Wade gave a light chuckle. “Have you ever killed anyone just by braiding their hair?”

 

“What the fuck?” He asked, amused, his reaction only caused Cassie to laugh louder causing the seven other kids in the room to complain, she shut her mouth pretty quick, but she was still giggling. Wade couldn't stop to smile. “Since you asked. I nearly did. He was a school teacher with a long hair.”

 

“School teacher?”

 

“Hey if you guys aren't gonna watch the movie and just talk, don't do it here,  _ some of us _ haven't watched Toy Story yet, so could you please?” Complained Teddy, throwing a few popcorn towards Cassie.

 

Cassie caught some of them with her hands and ate them. Teddy huffed and leaned back on the couch to watch again, after Cassie mumbled an apology.

 

“School teacher?” She repeated but in a much more quiet tone. “Nearly killed?”

 

“Hey, the guy was a pedophile, and I wanted him dead even if no one paid me to do it. But my bestest friend ever Daredevil told me that wasn't nice, so I left the guy almost choking on his own hair, made a couple threats, broke some of his bones that made him wish he was dead instead,” he muttered, pulling on a strand of hair tighter causing Cassie’s head to jerk a little back, yet she didn't complain or looked to be in any pain. “Couple ‘a days later, Ghost Rider came in, and killed the guy.”

 

“So you hurt bad guys?” Wade gave a hum. “You don't kill them?”

 

“Used to. But I try very hard not to anymore.”

 

“What was it like? To kill people?”

 

Wade bit his lip, letting go of the strand of hair he was clutching and starting over again because it was too loose and it wasn't that pretty. Cassie is fifteen, she is turning sixteen in a few months, but she's still a kid. He doesn't want her reveling in the details. But she's pushing, she's shaking his leg, urging an answer from him. He sighed, it is just an answer, she doesn't have to  _ watch  _ him kill anyone or anything.

 

“The only ones I've killed are the ones who really do deserve to die. Never regret any of the killings I've done. That's what I'm going to tell you.”

 

“Did you like killing them? Those who deserved to die?”

 

“Kid, I  _ enjoyed  _ killing those kind of people, I enjoyed beheading rapists, abusers, those people who make human trafficking possible. I enjoyed it, not an ounce of guilt left on me after I finish the job.” His gloves are starting to frustrate him because they're on the way, stopping him from perfecting the braid. But he doesn't want to remove it, so he just deals. “Now let's talk about another thing because I told myself I wouldn't tell a kid about my killing spree from ages ago.”

 

“Okay.” She considered pretty quick. “Where'd you learn how to braid?”

 

“The Internet is a lot of things, from educating you about feminism, to strangers kinkshaming you-”

 

“Wade? Is Wade here?” The door opened, causing a light to enter in, some kids hissing in amusement. “I know you're all watching a movie but it doesn't have to be this dark in here.”

 

Wade knew it was Gwen who spoke, but the lamp from the corner of the room turning on only confirmed her presence. She was wearing the same outfit she was wearing from when Wade saw her this morning, but her hair is now in a messy bun, and she's not wearing her coat any more. 

 

“Wade, I need to talk to you.”

 

{Okay, what did we do this time?}

 

[We just took a nap and watched movies from what I remember. But we rarely remember anything, so.]

 

“You didn't do anything wrong,” She says, she looked to be smiling but she seemed too tired to try harder. “Just come on, I need to talk to you.” She nodded her head to the door.

 

“Yeah just - does anyone have an elastic band?” He'd asked, and in seconds, Cassie handed him a black rubber band. He took it, and tied her braided hair. “There we go, you look a hundred times more adorable, you could kill a city of thieves and no one would notice - I'm off to work, kids! Be good while I'm gone.” He pats Cassie’s head before leaving the room with Gwen leading the way.

 

They walked in comfortable silence, but when Wade thought they were both far enough from the room Wade was previously in, he spoke. “Is this about the… the  _ thing _ ?”

 

“Yes.” She just gave one word. Wade figured it wouldn't be best to talk about the motives of a sixteen year old girl, running around and taking pictures of him, with or without Peter.

 

She didn't have to tell him where they were both heading, he'd already worked out that they were heading to the control room. It was good that both rooms were in the same floor, it saves Wade all the trouble of walking way too far.

 

And as they walked, this close, Wade noticed Gwen didn't look to be in the best state. “You been on this case since I left this morning?” 

 

“Yep.”

 

His brows that aren't really there at all shot up. “What? Did you get to eat? - don't lie.”

 

She only spared him a second of a glance, then stared back at where she's walking. “I ate lunch and dinner, don't worry.”

 

“Yooouuu gonna ask me if I ate?” His cheeky grin hidden under the mask.

 

Her chuckle was soft, only half the effort put into the action. “You already ate?”

 

“Yes, I have, thank you for caring to ask.” 

 

They were still walking the hall, and some of the workers are still around. It was mainly the reason why Gwen is going for small talk. “So, Wade, how's it going with Peter? He seem to like you yet?”

 

Wade mentally winced at the memory of what had occurred just this morning. He shook his head at the memory. “Erm, I'm working on it… I'm not really the most charming person on Earth despite everything I've said.”

 

“Maybe you are, it just doesn't work that easy on Peter,” she shrugged, her hands deep into her pockets.

 

Oh if she only knew.

 

Wade held back the urge to give out a sigh of relief when they've finally reached the control room. It was just as empty as Wade had last seen it. “Really, where is everyone?”

 

“Told them I needed to work on something,” She muttered, shuffling around a specific wooden desk.

 

With Gwen’s back to him, the door behind him locked, and no one around, Wade turned on the comm by his ear, automatically turning on the mic and the camera by his buckle.

 

After hearing Underwood’s baritone voice greeting him, he approached the blonde, and peeked over her shoulder to look at the computer she's messing around with. He didn't speak, just waited for her to say something.

 

When she did, he stayed quiet. “Alright, so.” She stepped to the side, so Wade would see the monitor showing a footage of the camera of a hall somewhere on the palace. Wade hadn't been around the place that long to know which hallways are which; they all look the same. “This morning, when you broke into Bella’s room, it was a few minutes away from 10:00 AM.”

 

“Yeah, and she wasn't there.”

 

“And I dug around. After a lot of hours, I noticed, that the records on the hall by Thompson’s room, are all deleted.. I mostly run this place, so I have a copy of everything,” she explained, sitting on a stool with a huff, his and her eyes still to the screen showing Bella walking down a hall with a bag on her shoulders, the same bag Wade had seen her wearing this morning. “I found the deleted files. They're all of Bella going to Thompson’s room every ten in the morning… It all started just this week, when you came.”

 

The mask made his facial expressions distinguishable more than he'd thought, he's pretty sure she saw his eyes widening behind the mask. “You're saying Thompson is making Bella take pictures of me, just to give it to him every morning at ten?” When she replied with a nod, Wade felt like he was being limited of air by getting choked. “Are you sure?”

 

She twisted the chair around to look at him. “No, that's just a speculation. I haven't seen her physically carry any of your photos. She's just wearing that bag whenever she goes to him.” She finished her sentence with her finger pointing the screen.

 

“Do you think you know why?” He's mostly good at this, but at this second he's too shocked to even think properly. And the voices screaming isn't really of any help.

 

Gwen was rubbing her forehead, her elbow to the surface of the desk. “I think Thompson is making Bella spy on you just so he could get his hands on any form of dirt.”

 

“Right. So if I did something shitty, he'd just show it to Peter, right?”

 

Her response was of a nod and a hum, her hands supporting her head as she stared at the screen. “We could tell Peter what's going on here.. but we don't have proper evidence that he is making Bella do this.”

 

Wade took deep even breaths as he took a few steps back, hands on his hips, his eyes focused on the screen. “I… I'll think of something. Just make sure the cameras are on.”

 

She turned back to him and studied his stance. “What are you going to do?”

 

Wade's confidence had always been nonexistent. He has a feeling his plan to get any evidence would be executed well just as well as the other tasks he'd accomplished. But this mission isn't only on him, it's also on another slightly irritating intern that goes by Underwood. He needs the guy to help him make decisions, he shouldn't make any choices that involves the mission, alone… That's not because he doesn't want full responsibility when shitty things would happen, psh, no.

 

“I'll erm, I'll think of something. Just, you make sure the cameras are on, and no one would be here to get their hands on anything… Someone deleting these files mean someone doesn't want anyone finding it.”

 

She stared at him longer than he'd let people, but eventually, she gave in with a nod. “Alright then, I'll be on here by nine tomorrow morning.”

 

From behind her, Wade watched as she turned back to the monitor, she probably expected him to know his way out. Wade couldn't help but ask. “Is… Is this Thompson guy a bad person? I just wanna know.”

 

Gwen didn't directly look at him. Her body was still facing the monitor, but her head was to the side, over her shoulder, eyes to the wall at the side. Wade still behind her. “Why? If he's a bad person, you're gonna kill him?”

 

“I don't kill anymore, you all know that.” He had not meant for his answer to be abrupt. He had only wanted to defend himself.

 

“Hurt him, then?”

 

“Look I just wanted to know if he's bad or not. If this is the first time he's involved on anything that's not normal.”

 

The quiet was so painful Wade almost wanted to leave the conversation at that. 

 

“No one likes to say it, but ever since Thompson came into the picture, things started to get ugly.” She looked away from the wall, and back to the computer, resting her back on her seat. “He's not the source of every problem, nor has he caused any, but no one's going to deny things were better before without him.”

 

“Why keep him then.” Wade was thankful Underwood was being quiet enough. It took long enough for the intern to understand about Wade’s attention problem.

 

“He hasn't given anyone a reason otherwise.”

 

“That's a shitty reason to keep him around,” he scoffed, dropping his hands from his hips. He glanced at the locked door, then back at Gwen. “Hey, before I leave. What's Thompson’s first name?”

 

“Kevin.”

 

○ ° . ☆ . ° ○ ☆ ○ ° . ☆ . ° ○

 

Wade didn't know how to feel. What he should feel.

 

He came here to spy on people. He had a hunch, but he didn't really expect someone to watch him too. 

 

Although flattering that someone takes their time to watch his every move, he'd be okay with that if it was any other day, if he was back in New York wallowing in self hatred, or whatever he does on a usual day.

 

Now it's just making his job a thousand times harder. Not only does he have to observe everyone, he also has to be careful because he doesn't know when someone is just hiding in a corner recording him.

 

The plan was simple. He'd already told Underwood what he thought, and Underwood had considered it. If Wade searched harder, he might as well have heard Underwood admit that what Wade had come up with was decent, and wasn't as destructive as the both of them had predicted.

 

What he needed to do was easy.

 

Break into Bella’s room again, set her alarm clock to thirty minutes later than how it's supposed to go off. Maybe bust the zipper of the bag too.

 

If it goes well, to how Wade had pictured it. Bella would wake up late, and would be too worried to put the photos on her bag properly. She would be shuffling them around while running to the other end of the palace where this Thompson guy is resting.

 

Just thinking about people spying on him wasn't as unsettling as it was moments before. He's used to too many weird shit happening to him, this is nothing.

 

This thing with Thompson isn't just weird though, Underwood had told him it might link to the deaths too. But Wade had zoned out to hear more of the intern’s supposition.

 

Wade’s attention span had always been a problem. If he could, he'd take meds to help him, but that's physically impossible. He tried downing a bottle of them once, actually, it didn't end well, it never had the chance to help him focus.

 

Everything's always too fast, everything has to be moving. It's either his body or his brain, or both at the same time.

 

Most of the time it gets so bad he'll want nothing but to kill himself, just to have peace for a small period of time.

 

But being around this many nice people always stopped him. Them knowing about his endless death wish, and immortality wasn't on his list of things he'd want them to know. Sadly that list isn't as short as his attention span.

 

《Wade, Wade, she's coming.》

 

The booming baritone voice of a certain intern had snapped him from his trance once again. His eyes quickly searching the room, thinking about what in the fuck Underwood is talking about.

 

Realizing he's hidden on a hall, and this is the part of the plan where he bumps into Bella so the photos on her hand would fall, he immediately got to his feet, and his eyes determined. “How close?”

 

《Her heat signature is showing she's two minutes away from you.. She's also running.》

 

The suitor was seconds away from asking Underwood why he'd alerted Wade when Bella is still two minutes far from getting to him.

 

Then he remembered back to when he's constantly zoning out and Underwood slowly becoming aware that him zoning out was never a rarity.

 

《Start walking, she's in the same hall now.》

 

Taking a deep breath, Wade glanced at the camera from the ceiling then back down to the hall he's heading in. He took out his phone, pretending to be texting anyone, specifically Underwood since he still has the intern’s number, and began walking the hall with his head down, focused on his phone.

 

When the sound of quiet cursing and shoes hitting the floor rang, Wade allowed himself to smirk.

 

How fucking good is he? His plan actually fucking worked.

 

The second came when Bella is running, and just as Bella is about to pass him, Wade took a step to the side.

 

Wade regrets a lot of things. This was one of them.

 

Bella was running violently, Wade shouldn't have turned to bump into her, because she was basically thrown back to the floor, and the only impact it had on Wade was to stumble a step back.

 

“Fuck. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry,” he apologized over and over as he rushed towards her heaving body on the floor. Kneeling on the floor right by her side, he helped her sit up by placing his hand on her back. “Where does it hurt? Do you think I can carry you to the infirmary?” He asked so quick he doesn't think she could catch that.

 

The girl only whimpered, and tried her best to shove him away.

 

“Hey, I said where does it hurt?” He asked sternly. This was no time for her to shove him away, she's in pain, and kids in pain is on Wade’s limited list of concerns.

 

“G-Get away from me, ‘m fine.” If she wasn't in pain she'd be slapping Wade’s chest, instead her hand is just patting the soft fabric of the hoodie Wade is wearing.

 

《Wade, her bag!》

 

“You really think I care right now?!” Exclaimed Wade, but one of the boxes reminded him he was still in the job. He gave her bag glance, and wasn't surprised to find it open, and a dozen printed pictures of what he did the day before was sliding out. He looked up to see the camera was pointed to him and figured Gwen got all of that in tape.

 

Now that that’s done, his full attention is to this kid. “Imma carry you to the infirmary, alright? Stop moving around or you'll slip in fall, and be in more pain.”

 

“I said I'm fine!” She protested and Wade had only noticed she's crying when she stared into the lenses of his mask to beg. “I-I need to get there, I need to go, please. Please.”

 

Kids begging and are in pain, Wade hated this had to happen, kids shouldn't be in this situation, they should be laughing and watching movies. What in the hell is Bella involved in that's got her like this? Did Wade do the right thing in interrupting and causing her to be this late?

 

“Kid-”

 

“Please. I just need.” She still hadn't stopped squirming in his arms, trying with all her energy to get out of his protective hold. “You don't understand, I need to go.”

 

He was gritting his teeth as he shoved the pictures into Bella’s bag, and gave it to her. When she had her bag, Wade carried her, even though she looked to be in a state who's near capable of walking.

 

《You're helping her get her pictures of you, to Thompson? Are you fucking kidding me?!》

 

Wade wished his other hand was free and that Gwen wasn't watching because all he wants now is to turn off Underwood’s annoying voice. He's been dealing with Underwood yelling at him for over a week, it gets irritating.

 

He's a grown man, he knows what he's doing.

 

“Where do you need to go?”

 

Bella didn't answer, she just tried to get away. Wade held her tighter. “I can get there let me go-”

 

“Where?”

 

The kid basically fell back into his arms with a huff, giving up. “The room at the end of the hall.” Pushing up the kid in his arms, he walked at a steady pace towards the room Bella had asked him to. “Could you go any slower?”

 

Wade grunts and sped up his pace, a frown deep into his scarred face. Bella still hadn't stopped crying even if she tried hard to wipe them away as fast as she was able.

 

Wade wonders if the tears were because she was in pain, or because of what was to happen when she goes to Thompson’s room this late.

 

He wishes he didn't have to know. He just wants Bella to be okay, he wants her to be safe, away from Thompson or anyone who could hurt her.

 

“--you don't know?! You don't know?! -- stand in the corner, bang your head against the wall, go on! Go on!”

 

The yelling wasn't the one that stopped him from walking, it was Bella who gripped his shoulder, and looked at him with eyes filled with so much fear it caused him to stop. “I can walk from here, you need to leave.” When Wade started to shake his head, she gripped his shoulder tighter, and her eyes looked like she was about to start crying again. “Please you need to leave - hide, anything just get away from here.”

 

Troubled eyes behind the mask darted from the closed door where the yelling had come from, and to Bella’s eyes.

 

《We’re not leaving, we need to see what the fuck is gonna happen here.》

 

Wade set her down.

 

《Wade, seriously, what the hell?》

 

“Thank you,” she quickly added, before grabbing her bag and running towards the room she intend to go in. Wade entered the room beside of said room. He wasn't going to see anything, but he was close to hear enough.

 

Wade heard the door open and close, the same yelling voice was heard. “It's 10:30, I said be here at 10, what part of be here at 10 do you not understand?!” Bella mumbled an apology and the man continued. “You're going to tell me why it took you so long.”

 

“I woke up too late, and ran into the other suitor.”

 

“Oh.” There was a pause. “Where is he now?”

 

“I was hurrying, I didn't see where he'd gone.”

 

“Did he follow you?”

 

“He carried me here-”

 

“For fucksakes!” The voice followed a crash, a furniture hitting the floor. “Why did you let him carry you here?!”

 

Even a room apart, Wade didn't mistake the sound of a palm hitting a skin, and a startled gasp from Bella.

 

He was not just gonna fucking sit here, and let a grown ass man hit a kid. This mission be damned, he's not going to just sit on his ass while that is happening.

 

Without any hesitation, he left the room he's in and opened the door where Bella is in, open with so much force, that if he had super strength the door would rip off of its hinges. “You don't hit a kid, you fucking shitbag!” Was what left his mouth before sending his fist crashing to the man's jaw. The force of his assault was too much, it caused the man to fall to the ground.

 

He turned his back immediately to Bella, who had her left cheek red, her eyes brimmed with tears, but held no emotion. Just like the time Wade caught her spying on him the first time.

 

His brows drawn together, he held her shoulders and gently shook her. She stared at him blankly. “You okay?” She didn't answer.

 

Everything was quiet, except from the man on the ground spitting blood on the floor, and the thudding of the wall by his left. Wade tilted his head to look farther into the room, and saw one of the workers, Pietro, banging his head on the wall, there appeared to be blood on both the wall and on Pietro’s head, yet he didn't stop.

 

《What the fuck is going on?!》

 

“Wanda! Get me a towel. Pietro stop what you're doing, I need you alive.” The man slowly got to his feet.

 

Wanda handed him a towel, and he wiped his mouth with it, Pietro stopped banging his head on the wall, but he didn't make any move to get the blood out of his head.

 

“Wanda, get a knife and come here,” He ordered, staring at Wade, as he himself doesn't make any move, things were fucked up, he doesn't know how to even move and what to think. 

 

In seconds, Wanda stood beside the man, holding a knife to her own neck. The man was still studying him from head to toe. “You do anything that I don't tell you to, and Wanda kills herself. Poor little Billy won't have a mother anymore, and Pietro here wouldn't have a sister anymore, that means, he'll have to do my work all by himself.”

 

《Fuck fuck. This-This isn't, fuck. Is he a fucking mind controller?》 The sound of papers shuffling and things falling were heard from the intern’s side.

 

What Underwood had said would be possible. It would explain the deaths all too perfectly, if this man was a mind controller, he'd just mind control anyone into killing themselves. He could control  _ anyone. _

 

A thing Underwood didn't have to worry about, is that Wade couldn't be controlled.  _ A lot  _ of mutants, telepaths, or mind controllers, have tried, they all failed, all because his cells - more specifically, his brain cells, are constantly regenerating.

 

“I heard you're Wade, you're Peter’s  _ new  _ suitor.” He said the word with such disgust. 

 

Wade only got that this man _is_ Kevin Thompson, is the other suitor. He would've figured that out if this man was in a bed, or at least a wheelchair, not here, standing in front of him, mouth bleeding.

 

“I'm Kilgrave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey the villain is Kilgrave! Yay! The mcu kind, I only watched Jessica jones on Netflix, I haven't read a comic, I'm sorryyy just burn me alive. Kilgrave’s name in the mcu is Kevin Thompson, I didn't make that up hah. Not entirely sure if Wade can't be controlled by Kilgrave but for the sake of this fic, he can't be. It's never been confirmed but telepaths don't do on him, so.
> 
> I have plans for this fic, Kilgrave is honestly one of my fav villains, I hope I won't fuck up this fic, let's all pray to prevent that
> 
> More Peter and Wade on next chapter, something to look forward to


	9. island of overthinking

Of all the numerous theories Underwood had talked him over, out of all the things the reason behind the deaths, this really had to be it.

 

A mind controller.

 

Not just a mind controller, he's also a suitor of the one and only prince of the mysterious island. An island full of broken people, all because of the works of one mind controller of a suitor.

 

He's been here for how long? And all those years had he been controlling Peter's life? The people around Peter? With this range he'd have controlled Peter long while before.

 

Disturbing thoughts of what Kilgrave could have done/had people do, swarmed Wade's brain, caused his jaw to clench, he stayed still.

 

This single person was the reason for everyone's desolation, an emotion all of them had been giving so much of an effort to conceal. Just to give one another a sense of hope, hope that they would heal from this pain, and that they could continue.

 

It seemed Peter has been through too much to believe in any more of that.

 

It had gotten a rise out of Wade, yet he kept still, kept his fingers from clutching into a fist, his hands down, laying limp at his side, getting it far from this man as subtle as possible.

 

“Why don't you take your mask off.” That one wasn't a question, it was more of a command.

 

《Okay okay, I read in your file no one could get inside your head.》In all the week he'd been with this intern, he never heard Underwood talk this quick with such panic and nervousness in his voice.《D-Do as he says. Him knowing you can't be controlled is gonna be a shit show. Please just do as he says.》Underwood added a please, Wade thought if it's because Underwood thinks he wouldn't listen or because Underwood is more polite when he's panicking. 《When you take the mask off, carefully take the comm off. When he asks you questions, answer them without any jokes, don't make faces or references, I know you have a resting face hiding in there somewhere, this is the time to use that now. Act like you're being controlled to tell the truth. Please. 》

 

Thank the heavens, the intern talks in blistering speed yet spoken with identifiable words, and Wade knows when to take things seriously.

 

The scarred suitor reached for his mask, and as he was pulling it up, he also swiftly removed the comm from his ear with grace he didn't know he had.

 

With the mask off, Wade clearly saw how fast Kilgrave was disgusted. His face scrunched up and he quickly looked away. Wade tried his best to look neutral, to keep his fists from meeting the bastard’s face.

 

“God, you're even worse up close. Put it back on. Put it back!” He still didn't look at Wade's face when he demanded, throwing the bloody towel he was using behind him, landing somewhere Wade didn't see.

 

Before the English suitor in front of him notices, Wade stopped gritting his teeth, when the mask was firmly put back on his scarred head.

 

“What were you even thinking about going here? Are you really courting Peter or are you just another agent from that nosy SHIELD place?”

 

He knows about SHIELD, maybe because before he killed the two agents, he forced them to tell him where they're originally from, forced them to state their purpose.

 

Just the idea of being stripped down and be forced to do something against your will made Wade sick again. The idea of someone getting into your mind, be forced to spit out whatever you're keeping, have someone invade so much of you, it riled Wade up.

 

《Tell him you just wanted to court Peter!》

 

Wade never hated his life more than he does now.

 

Swallowing, he forced himself to stop his fists from clenching and relaxing, it would draw attention he didn't need now or ever. Fuck his feelings anyway, right? He has better things to think about more than his own  _ feelings. _

 

“I'm here to court Peter.” When the words came out, he wished it didn't sound forced.

 

An amused look took over Kilgrave’s face, followed by a hysterical laugh, he soon stopped himself when he seemed to hurt, placing a hand over his stomach. Though, his amused expression didn't leave, Wade wanted to punch it off of his face, and maybe just a little bit, punch the life out of him too.

 

“Y-You, oh my god! I didn't think you were serious, and here I thought you were an agent.” He finished, wiping an invisible tear just below his eye, to express his amusement over the situation. He turned to Wanda with a grin still on his lips. “Wanda, what do you think? Should we kill him, or should we kill him?”

 

Wanda looked directly into Kilgrave’s eyes when she gave the man her answer. “I don't think we should. Most suitors have died for unknown reasons, Wade's death would only feed the suspicion that you have caused their deaths.”

 

“So, what do we do with this freak, then?”

 

Wanda turned to him, her eyes screaming of internal pain caused by Kilgrave’s control over her mind and body. Wade wonders if she's aware of what's happening, she just couldn't break free from the man's control, or if she's not fully aware of what's happening; if Kilgrave is making her believe this is what she wants to be doing. “We should let him be. Peter wouldn't want him anyway, it won't be long before he's rejected.”

 

Wanda is being controlled to tell her honest thoughts, and hearing her say what she really thought, made Wade want to choke himself and maybe cry in his room after a food coma.

 

“Right,” Kilgrave considered. Wade didn't think the man was capable of that. “We could just watch him make a fool of himself until Peter gets tired of him. Sounds better than killing him now, this island is getting pretty bland.” Kilgrave took out his hand from his pocket to lightly pat Wade’s masked cheek. “Off you go, get a nap or something. Oh! And remember.” Kilgrave let his hand fall, as well as the false amused expression fell off of his face, and stepped closer to Wade. “If you tell  _ anyone  _ about this, don't be surprised when someone dies, alright?” He raised an eyebrow, nodding. To which Wade gave a nod back, an indication of his understanding. 

 

“Wait, to be more specific.” Kilgrave walked beside Wade to grab Bella by her shoulders, pulling her to Wade's line of sight. “If you tell anyone, Bella here will die, maybe Cassie too, she can join her father. And maybe Billy too,” At the mention of her son, Wanda seemed to tense, looked at Wade with pleading eyes.

 

《Holy fuck, is this guy for real?! Killing kids?!》

 

“Did you understand, Wade?” Wade only replied with a small nod, which angered the English suitor. “Speak when you're being spoken to!”

 

“I understood,” he's said with no fear to his words. No one scares him, not even this guy. Wade could easily kill him and end everyone's pain, his no-killing spree be damned, but that wasn't the mission. He does as he's told, as surprising as that sounds. He doesn't make decisions alone, because he's not doing this mission alone.

 

But kids are involved.

 

“Good,” the irritating smile of the man came back, Wade's eye twitched. “Bye now,” He said, pushing Wade away from the room, slamming the door closed after.

 

Wade's never been more conflicted in his life ever.

 

He should've stayed away from this SHIELD business, should've stayed in his lane, but no, he wanted to do more good, he wanted to help.

 

But if he wasn't the one to come and investigate, anyone else who'd try to do the job, would have been controlled by Kilgrave.

 

“Goddamn it,” He whispered, not risking the chance of the other suitor hearing him.

 

Wade stayed silent as he made his way back to his room, he needed to speak to the intern, he needed answers, guidance on his actions, this was no time to be reckless, he could be reckless all he wants when he gets back to New York, but definitely not here. Too many lives were in danger, and most lives he's trying to protect are ones he grew fond of, people he actually grew to like, and like him back, he couldn't risk anything.

 

Those who walked pass him seemed confused and suspicious as to why he had not utter a word, either to them, or to himself. They had many questions, but they didn't vocalize any of them.

 

He could do something, act normal instead of walking like a robot with a task, but he isn't sure of his actions, he needs confirmation from the intern.

 

That was the small problem, Underwood hadn't state his presence, for all Wade knew, the intern could have ran scared to any of the agents, except the intern was at his home, and Wade could perfectly hear the shuffling of papers, and the labored breathing, almost like he was panicking.

 

That was a perfectly normal reaction to finding out that what he and Wade are dealing with, is a mind controller. Anyone who'd come across a powerful person such as Kilgrave would be afraid.

 

It was why Wade quickened his pace, both because he needed to discuss with the intern his next move, and also because of his growing worry for Underwood.

 

Underwood wasn't at SHIELD headquarters, he was at home because he was sick, and the thought of him having a panic attack, in his home, completely alone, is also filling Wade with panic.

 

Finally arriving to the safe space of his room, with the door locked, he dropped to one of the chairs and spoke calmly. “Kid, you still there?”

 

《What - What-》The breathing turned more erratic, Wade painfully closed his eyes. 《I-I’m on my meds right now, and I also haven't slept in a day, I don't know if I was just seeing that or if it was real.》

 

The scarred man let the corner of his lip lift a little. He should be the one asking if what just happened was real. He's not completely stable, he sees things sometimes, though the things he sees are obviously not real, like that one time he saw cartoon figures appearing out of nowhere. But still, he has days.

 

His hand reached up to tug at the bottom of his mask out of instinct, he'd usually take his mask off when he's alone in his room, but being reminded of what happened earlier, he dropped his hand back to his lap, leaving his mask on.

 

“I can say that was pretty real. We can't be seeing unusual things at the same time.”

 

《Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.》 The intern repeated the phrase a few more hundred times to himself.

 

“Hey hey, calm down, listen to me.” Wade repeated louder when Underwood didn't seem to hear, when he finally got the intern to shut up, he talked. “I want you to get the phone, and be ready to call the ambulance-”

 

《I'm not calling any ambulance with all these spy shit scattered everywhere on my place, Wade!》

 

“Then calm down.” He gently commanded, hoping the words would get through. “I know that was hard to process but I need you with me on this. I can't do this on my own,” He reasoned and patiently waited until Underwood was in a more tranquil state.

 

《... Right, right. Sorry.》

 

“No need to apologize,” he sighed out in relief, and leaned back on the couch, staring at the wall in front of him. The bed was made, and his suit was neatly folded on the bed still. Taking out a butterfly knife from the waistband of his pants, he started to play with it, just to have something to do with his hands. (No, he did not sneak into any locked rooms to get this butterfly knife, no, he would not do that. Okay, yes he did, but no one has to know that.) “What do you think we should do?”

 

《I was going to ask you that.》 

 

“But I asked you first.”

 

Wade was just teasing, stalling, just to lift the mood, he didn't expect Underwood to be near crying, talking in a small voice. 《Wade, I don't know what to do here. I'm not even a real agent, I'm just an intern.》

 

“Hey, come on now, who said you're not a real agent? Okay, maybe not  _ yet, _ but that's why you're helping me here, think of it as like a test, after this you're gonna graduate to become a real agent, and I'll be there to buy you ice cream after.”

 

Wade heard sniffling, and smiled sadly. 《Yeah, yeah. Right, of course.》A short laugh followed, and Wade figured he was wiping his face with a napkin. 《But, right now, I really would like to know what you think first. Can't do this on my own too.》

 

The ex mercenary looked down at the knife in his hands, he turned so his head was resting on the arm of the sofa, and his feet was on the other end. He sighed loudly, and answered. “I'm gonna kill him.”

 

《What?》

 

“I'm gonna kill that fucker.”

 

《Yeah, I heard, I meant… Why? You said you're done with the killing.》

 

“That piece of shit is an exception then,” He said. “Let's say, we got evidence that this guy is a mind controller, and that he was the one who killed all those people. What do we do then?”

 

《... Tell… We tell Coulson? Fury? SHIELD?》The intern wasn't giving out suggestions, wasn't giving Wade an answer, he was asking.

 

“If we did, Kilgrave is just gonna mind control them not to do shit.. We should be thankful he's only here and he's not after world domination!” He shrieked, throwing out his arms in emphasis, having now just only thinking about the possibilities.

 

《So, we don't tell anyone? You are aware that SHIELD knows everything, right?》

 

“They don't know who we're dealing with here.” He stated lamely, as if he was stating out facts.

 

《Yes, but they may have copies or surveillance of how I'm communicating with you.》

 

Wade threw his head back on the arm rest and groaned loudly, cursing after. “I never liked you spy people.”

 

《You repeatedly asked Coulson for a job-》

 

“This isn't the time to dwell on the past!” He'd yell, but a smile was to his scarred lips. There were more words to be said, but the gentle knock from his door, and Peter's voice that came after, stopped him. Immediately, he sat up. Remembering how his last conversation with the prince went, and how he needs to apologize now.  “Look I gotta go, why don't you tell Coulson you'll just be doing your work at home?” He asked in a much more quiet tone.

 

《.. seems reasonable, yeah, I'll try… But really, we're not going to tell them anything? You're just gonna go and kill the guy?》

 

“No, I have to have proof that he's a literal control freak, show Peter, then kill the guy,  _ and then  _ we tell Coulson.”

 

From the other end of the line, Wade struggled not to chuckle when he heard the intern sigh dramatically. 《I'll think about this plan of yours after I get all my things from SHIELD.》

 

The knocking continued, and Wade stood. “Yeah yeah,” He rushed his words. “Go get some rest, I'll be online in a few, I just gotta deal with something.”

 

Underwood grumbled something about not helping with hiding any body if Wade were to kill anyone, Wade only beamed a goodbye to finish off their conversation, and turned off his comm along with the small ass camera. 

 

Passing himself as decent as well as his room, he opened the door to reveal no one there, when he poked his head out, he was nearly startled when he found Peter leaning on the wall beside the door. 

 

He casually leaned on the door frame, with his arms crossed over his chest. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

 

“I wanted to talk.” Peter pushed himself off of the wall, and faced Wade. “May I come in?” He asked, gesturing his hand to the inside of Wade's room where he snuck a glance for only a second, returning his eyes back to where Wade's eyes should be if it weren't for the mask.

 

Bewildered, Wade stared back at Peter for a few more lingering moments, suspicious, waiting for something to come up. “Is this a test?”

 

“What?” The young male looked genuinely confused, Wade figured he didn't need to look deeper.

 

“Right, sorry.” He stepped aside, allowing the prince the space to walk through, closing the door after, leaving it unlocked just in case Peter feels unsafe alone in a room with him.

 

If that were the case, why would Peter seek him out, and ask to be invited?

 

Shaking his head, Wade told himself not to look deeper into things. 

 

“You doing okay here?” Peter had asked, walking himself to a bookshelf that Wade had never touched.

 

Still confused, Wade sat himself on the couch he was previously laying on. “Yeah, yeah, I'm doing great. Why wouldn't I be?”

 

For a moment, Wade thought Peter didn't hear him, because he was reading something at the back of a random book he'd chosen from the shelf. But out of nowhere, he tore his eyes away from the book, and stared at Wade from where he's standing. “I'm sorry for what I said yesterday, I didn't…” He exhaled a little loudly, rubbing a hand on his forehead like a stressed adult, Wade wanted to stop him from apologizing, but he didn't seem to be finished, and he didn't seem to want to be interrupted when he's gathering his words. “I didn't mean that, I was just mad.”

 

“No, no, don't apologize, that was all on me, I'm the one who's supposed to be ap-”

 

“I literally said that I wanted you gone, and that I wanted you dead.” The brunet set the book down on the wooden desk, another furniture Wade doesn't have any use for, and sat atop of it, looking anywhere but at Wade now.

 

“Yeah, but I pressed.”

 

Peter shook his head, looking down, his arms crossed over his chest. “Still, I'm a prince.”

 

“You're a person.” Brows furrowed, Wade wanted to stand and walk closer. He felt as though Peter was pulling him near, but he's also confused. Wade stayed seated. “If someone kept pressing and pressing, especially if they don't know what you're really going through, it's normal to be mad about it, and say things.”

 

Peter lifted his head to look at him for a second, he looked away quickly. “I'm still apologizing.”

 

“I'm still apologizing too. I did start it.”

 

“Yeah, there's no denying on that one.” Peter chuckled softly, running a strong hand over his hair. When Wade looked closer, he noticed bags were still under Peter's tired eyes, he didn't seem to be sleeping again.

 

“Yeah.” Looking down at his gloved hands, he wanted to reach for his butterfly knife, because his fingers are itching to do something. But the sight of having a knife, and playing around with it might give the young prince the wrong idea. Wade settled with bouncing his knee repeatedly, while leaning back, playing with the edges of his gloves. 

 

The silence stretched between them, only their breathing, and Wade's feet hitting the floor were the noises, it wasn't awkward, it wasn't uncomfortable, but the tension was there, as if there was a specific topic they needed talking. 

 

Wade had no idea what, but Peter seemed to be going over his words again.

 

“Is it because you can't die?”

 

Startled, Wade's head snapped up to the brunet’s direction, he was too surprised, and confused, that he missed how the question was laced with pity and sadness.

 

“What?”

 

From where he's sitting, Wade didn't miss the gulp that Peter took. “You said… You said you envy me, because I have people who love and care about me.” Wade understood where this was going, but he nodded for Peter to continue. “Is it because you can't die that you don't have anyone else left? Is it because you've already outlived them?”

 

“How-How did you know?”

 

Confused, Peter looked up to meet Wade's eyes. “That you can't die?” Wade nodded again. “What? I thought everyone knew.”

 

“What? Since when?”

 

“Since you came in here dressed like that.” He pointed to the red suit on Wade's bed. “There's literally thousands of videos online of you fighting bad people, monsters, out there, and you getting repeatedly injured, or killed.”

 

And here he thought everyone didn't know. He actually  _ tried _ to be careful, what the hell, why did he not think they'd know, they did background checks on him, of course they know. And his recklessness on fights, of course people would be talking about that, and of course Peter's people would know, they're not that dense.

 

And of course, they'd do a better job with the background check. Who in their right mind would let a known ex mercenary like him anywhere, really.

 

“I didn't Google everything about you.” Peter's quiet voice cut through Wade's thoughts. “I wanted to, so bad, you know. I didn't want a person like you anywhere near the people I care most about, I wanted to know if you're just here to make things worse.”

 

“What stopped you?”

 

“Gwen did all that already, she's good at what she does, I trust whatever she tells me. Then told me, that if you wanted me to know something about you, you'll tell me yourself. She said it only seemed fair that I learn things about you,  _ from  _ you. And you'll learn things about me from myself.” He shrugged, a frown tied to his lips.

 

Swallowing, Wade wrapped his head around the fact that these people,  _ trust  _ him. They trust that he's genuinely here to court Peter, that he isn't up to anything bad, that he isn't here to hurt anyone.  _ They trust him. _

 

“I wasn't here just to apologize, I'm also here, because I wanted to… to get to know you better.”

 

Catching his attention, Wade looked up again at Peter who was now staring back at him. Wade's body didn't know how to respond, but it seemed to be in panic. His heartbeat erratic, he doesn't know if he should be happy or be suspicious again. 

 

This isn't how things really go, he expected Peter to wait for his apology, maybe threaten him, claim their last conversation as Wade's strike two, and then leave.

 

He definitely didn't expect Peter to want to know him better, and vise versa.

 

But then again, things never go the way he expects them to go.

 

Blinking, Wade swallowed again, hoping to god Peter didn't hear how painful it was. If it wasn't freezing cold, Wade would be swimming in his own perspiration, and maybe tears too.

 

“What, what did you want to know?” He asked, once he found his voice, shocked that his throat hadn't gone too dry.

 

Peter looked hesitant, as if anything he say could offend Wade in any way. “Your uhm, your family, I asked a while ago.”

 

“Oh.” Dropping his gaze, Wade fell back on his seat again, fiddling with the gloves. Going silent as he goes over his decision.

 

It would only be fair if he were to share, Peter trusted him, Peter deserves to know. 

 

But the sad reminder that he's only here for a job, kept nagging at him, kept telling him that he shouldn't even be getting attached to the people here, because once they find out he's only here for a job, they're all going to turn their backs on him, keep reminding him that he's never been their friend, that the only thing he's done here is lie, and spy on them.

 

He's reading too deep into things again.

 

“I have a daughter,” he said. He's not sure if he regretted admitting that or not.

 

“Oh.” It was Peter's turn to have that look on his face, the one where the overthinking starts. But on Peter, it didn't seem like he was reading deep into things, like Wade was. “How is she?”

 

“She's uhm.” Wade cleared his throat, not looking away from his hands. “Haven't seen her in two years.”

 

“Why?”

 

Wade couldn't help the smile, and the short humorless laugh. “If you didn't listen to Gwen, and Google me, you'd know.”

 

“I listened to her, because I wanted you to tell me yourself. I already told you that.” His voice turned on a stern tone. If Wade looked up, he'd be seeing the same determined dark eyes boring into his. He's not sure if he's ready for that. 

 

“Most kids wouldn't want a dad like me.” He finally answered. “I'm not exactly the type to be a good one. I thought everyone already figured that.”

 

“Have you even tried?”

 

Okay, now Wade  _ really  _ knows how Peter felt yesterday when they were talking by the freezing lake.

 

“I have, and I decided to stay away.”

 

[This is the most civilized conversation we've ever had. We're so out of character.]

 

Wade startled when he heard the voice. He's not sure if he's been blatantly ignoring the voices, or if they've been quiet for this long.

 

“Your only family left is your daughter? You got anyone else?”

 

This was not the conversation Wade wanted to have, ever.

 

Still, he doesn't know what got over him when he told the truth. “No.”

 

Peter only nodded and stared at the floor again. Wade continued bouncing his legs, biting his lower lip, and his eyes looking at everywhere, everything.

 

He's never felt this naked before, and he doesn't like it, not one bit. He feels so exposed and vulnerable, and he's here, sitting with way too many layers of clothes. He wants to feel the comfort of his own red suit, hugging his body. He hates feeling like this.

 

“They could be your family too, if you want.” Peter's small voice echoed in the small room after a while.

 

Wade was scared that he'd start crying any moment. He bit his lip harder, and closed his eyes, keeping his head down to avoid being seen by the young man.

 

In here, people trusted him, thought of him as a friend. And now, Peter just straight up told him, that the people here could be his family. If he wants.

 

Hell fucking yes he does.

 

What more could he ask for?

 

Being here, he actually  _ likes  _ waking up, he  _ likes  _ leaving his bed by morning, he  _ likes  _ talking to people here, he  _ likes  _ spending time with them, he  _ likes  _ doing anything with them, he  _ likes  _ being around them.

 

And he's only been here for a week and a half.

 

In the whole span of a week, he grew happier.

 

He's not sure if that's a good thing or not.

 

{Are you fucking kidding me?!}

 

Before Wade could think of any more, there was another knock on the door, it wasn't a gentle knock, it was hurried. Then came Gwen’s voice. “Wade? You in there?” 

 

Suddenly, images of what had happened not long ago flooded Wade's thoughts.

 

He stood quickly, then glanced at Peter who looked worried. Peter who stopped sitting on the desk, and walked towards him, as he himself opened the door.

 

Wade took his time to get to the door, so by the time he opened the door, Gwen saw that Peter is with him. If Wade just went on and opened the door, Gwen might have mentioned the Bella thing.

 

With the door opened, and Peter just beside him, Gwen forced a smile. “Peter, it's nice to see you here.”

 

“I-I was just about to leave anyway.”

 

“No no, I'll just need to talk to Wade real quick and then you can go back to whatever you two were doing-”

 

“No, really, I was just about to leave.” and now Peter also forced a smile, he nodded a goodbye to Wade and at Gwen before walking past them to leave.

 

“Aw no, I'm sorry, I should have waited,” Gwen said.

 

The older man chuckled. “No, don't be. If you didn't knock I would have made  _ any  _ attempts just to get out of that conversation.”

 

Gwen looked like she was going to ask a question about it, but she quickly shook her head and the frown reappeared. “I was going to say that Bella fell down the stairs, and she broke her left leg.”

 

“What? When?”

 

“Thirty minutes ago. I was watching you on the security room, when I was called to the infirmary, and patched her up, not literally, I got her a cast - just. Look, when I came back, any video evidence of you knocking into her, and her bag showing the pictures she took of you, are  _ gone _ , any video feed from ten o’clock, to eleven, are just gone.” 

 

Wade groaned, and if it weren't for him being so drained, he would've had the energy to stomp his feet. “I planned all night for that to work, and someone just took it!” He kicked the wall without much effort put into it. “I want to die!”

 

“Wade,” she said in a much more calm tone, though the stress and frustration wasn't taken away from her expression. “I saw you that entered Thompson’s room, and just left. What happened in there?”

 

Just as the question was in the air, Wade weighed his options.

 

Tell Gwen that Kilgrave is a fucking mind controller. She's a very smart lady, she could tell Wade what to do, but risk her going in there and having her mind and body controlled.

 

And, of course, the threat that Kilgrave left. Something that goes along the lines of,  _ if you tell anyone about this, don't be surprised when someone dies. _

 

Or to not tell her at all, and not risk anyone dying, but he'll be doing this on his own, and only with the help of a stressed intern.

 

Either way, Wade is fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry I haven't updated in a month! Really am, just got all busy all of a sudden, but here it is! It's 5k words! And I'll update again next Thursday! Tell me what you all think, I very much need that, since, I am not very good at this, and I need all the help I can get to be better.
> 
> I just realised we're at 30k, and Peter is still guarded (he's working on that) and Wade is still smitten (IN LOOOVE, not really, but getting there) but vv conflicted. 
> 
> Tell me if you want things to stay slow build between them, or if I'm taking too long.


	10. island of comfort

 

Wade didn't tell Gwen what happened.

 

He didn't, he couldn't, he shouldn't. He is in deep shit, and he's positive she could tell that he lied to her anyway. Because there was no way, that he had just entered a room to check on Kilgrave, and leave the room looking pretty shaken up.

 

Gwen didn't look convinced, but she didn't force the truth out of him. She only gave a slight nod, and left after wishing him a good day.

 

It would be lying if he said he didn't feel bad for not telling her the truth, but it was either this, or risk someone's life.

 

Wade already had a scene play in his head of how things would play through if he ever told Gwen about Kilgrave.

 

Kilgrave would just ask her,  _ did he tell you about what I can do,  _ and he would make her tell the truth without even breaking a sweat. Just utter a couple of simple words, and he knows the mistake Wade has done.

 

Wade could already see it, the bastard would have a sick smirk to his lips as he gives Wade a look,  _ I told you what would happen if you didn't listen. _

 

Wade would never take that risk. He would never be able to forgive himself.

 

Now concerning the video of Bella falling, having been deleted, Wade was certain it was Pietro’s work. The idea of Bella being forced to fall down the flight of stairs, just so they could lure Gwen out of the control room, for Pietro to sneak in and delete those videos, was just so wrong, it had Wade's hand itching for his katana - any gun he couldn't care less - fuck, anything, anything lethal enough to let Kilgrave choke on his blood until he dies.

 

{Hell no, he should die slow. Imagine all the deaths he caused, imagine all the pain he put everyone in! He's gotta be tortured, he's gotta be tortured to the point he's gonna fucking beg to be killed instead!}

 

[Or we could just hand him to the Avengers since they deal with this kind of stuff better and almost daily?]

 

“If we do that he's just going to control all of them. We need proof that he can mind control, then we kill him, that's it.”

 

{Why do we need proof anyway? just kill him already!}

 

“If we don't have proof no one's gonna believe us that he's a fucking mind controller! Everyone's just gonna think we killed another person, and I am so damn tired of hearing that.”

 

{You really are taking this seriously, I'm worried! This is so out of character, when was the last time you said something stupid?!}

 

“Doesn't matter,” He grumbled, applying pressure on how he's pressing his hands into his forehead, trying to soothe out the tension, but it's only making things worse.

 

This was the most thinking he'd done in a long time, he feels like his brain would explode any moment now. The voices were also right, he's taking this very seriously - and that's good, it's what he needs to be doing the most, he can't afford to be reckless, to be stupid, innocent people's lives are on the line here, and Wade never messed with that.

 

All this feels like a weight in his shoulders, he's never been in this position before. The person who needs to make the right calls, and execute the right objectives in order to complete his tasks.

 

Sure, in his line of work, (one where he helps Daredevil and his other New York super hero friends.) some lives depended on his actions, and he acted maturely and wise to it, but he can't forget the lives lost because of his poor decision making, and slow take of action.

 

Sometimes people get hurt because of his reckless behaviours, and he tries his best to atone for the wrongs he'd done. It was never his intent to hurt people who didn't ever deserve it.

 

And now he is here, in an island that mostly consists of teenaged kids, and adults, completely oblivious to the fact that they have a murderer in their home, a murderer who likes to play god, and control other people's lives.

 

But why is it, that Kilgrave has been with them for five years, and yet only three of them are in Kilgrave’s control? How are they all still oblivious to this fact?

 

The only reason Wade has come up with, is that Kilgrave doesn't want to control how Peter feels for him, he wants Peter to  _ willingly  _ love him for who he is, and not control those feelings himself. He wants Peter's family to love him willingly.

 

The thought of Kilgrave associating with these wonderful people made him sick again. So much he didn't realise he'd been playing with his butterfly knife again.

 

His jaw tensed, he slid his knife down, and hid it on the inside of his boots. He forced himself to take a deep breath and breathe out, before standing, and pulling the hood of his jacket, up and over his masked head.

 

Leaving and locking his room, he headed for the infirmary.

 

The infirmary was still to the other end of the palace, anyone who knew him in the span of the week and a half he's been here, found it oddly suspicious as to why he's very quiet.

 

He wasn't just quiet, he had his hood pulled up, his hands on the pockets of his hoodie, and his head down.

 

He just really can't bring himself to be cheerful, and loudly annoying, when the thought of Bella being hurt, and other kids being hurt here was all he could think about.

 

Once the thought of other kids, and adults dying, just because of Kilgrave, entered his mind again, he quickly shut the thought down. He can't bear to stand these thoughts, it makes him sick, makes his nonexistent breakfast leave his stomach.

 

It was just hitting noon, and almost everyone was heading for the dining area to have lunch together. (Almost everyone, because some of them have work to do, and some of them are still asleep.) Most of the people who walked pass him ignored him because they were hungry, and some of them just stared strangely for a second before heading down the hall.

 

A few stopped to tell him that they were having lunch, but he politely declined, which seemed to make them even more suspicious because he never missed an opportunity to eat with them. Nonetheless, they nodded and left.

 

Cassie passed by him, and lay a gentle warm hand on his arm. Asked him if everything was alright. “Everything's fine, I promise, I'm just not feeling that well, s’why I'm heading for the infirmary.”

 

“Of course, right. Do you want me to send any food to your room?”

 

“No thanks, kid, I'll grab a food when I'm hungry.” He let himself smile a little at that. Thoughtful kids would make him sob on the inside.

 

With that she left him be, and he was thankful she let his odd behavior slide. 

 

Finally reaching the infirmary, once he entered the sickly clean room, he wanted to run the other direction as fast as his feet could go.

 

He still hasn't fully entered the room, his hand was still gripping on the knob, his body shaking if you looked at him hard enough, and his eyes tightly sealed. He could feel sweat forming on his head as well as his palms, with the mask and the gloves, it wasn't comfortable.

 

He tried to even his breathing, forced himself to calm down. When he's reached the state of being stable enough, he opened his eyes to see the cleanest white room he's ever been in. (He's exaggerating)

 

Okay, he is exaggerating, but these kinds of place make him nervous.

 

Gulping, he took a step forward, and let the door close itself. He buried his hands deep the pockets of his hoodie again, and tried to locate Bella.

 

At the end of the room, Wade saw Bella resting on a couch, a cast on her left leg, and underneath it was a soft looking pillow, a frown was already on his lips, but when he looked up at her, his frown deepened when he saw the top of her head had gauze wrapped around it.

 

When he walked closer, he couldn't find anything to say. He's mad, this he knew, he was already mad at Kilgrave when he was walking towards here, yet he's lost for words, he can't come up with anything to say. He can't even believe Bella is in here.

 

“Did you know that seventy-nine percent of stair accidents happen on the stairs?”

 

Bella’s lip twitched up into a small smile, she lowered the graphic novel she was reading down to her lap, and set her head back to the soft cushion of the couch to properly look at Wade. “I didn't know that, thank you for telling me.”

 

Nervously biting his lower lip, Wade took a sit beside the young girl. His gloved fingers still fumbling with each other, his knee bouncing, and his hood pulled so far, he's certain the kid could barely see his masked face.

 

“I'm sorry,” he blurted, surprising himself with how weak it sounded when the words came out.

 

“What for? You didn't do anything.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Oh come on,” she sighed. “Like you could have done anything to stop him from doing this.”

 

The teeth on his lower lip, bit harder. Swallowing, and trying not to say anything about how Kilgrave can't get anywhere near to controlling him. 

 

If Wade told her that, it might get to Kilgrave. Wade can't have that.

 

“Still,” he shrugged, eyes still ahead of him. He tried to glance over his shoulder just to have a look at her, but he remembers the gauze and the bruises in her face. He couldn't look. If he stared long enough, all the pep talk he gave himself would vanish, and he'd stalk to Kilgrave and kill the him already.

 

He kept his eyes focused on the white wall way far ahead of him, and asked. “Who else knows?”

 

“Just the four of us.” Without looking, he heard Bella picking up her graphic novel, and continued reading while answering some of Wade's questions.

 

He didn't need names, it was clear that the only people who knew are him, Bella, Wanda, and Pietro. He doesn't know if the lack of people knowing should comfort him, or if it should rile him up.

 

He settled on asking another question. “Why… Why haven't you told anyone yet?” The novel was put down again, Wade stopped bouncing his knee.

 

“It's - It's because if we try to tell someone, he makes us regret it.” 

 

By the sound of her voice, Wade wanted nothing but to offer comfort. With a gulp, he turned to her, and held out his hand, letting the offer of comfort stand, so she'd have a choice if she wanted his comfort or not.

 

He didn't really expect for her to accept it, and take his hand. He looked into her eyes, and he saw tears welling up in there, threatening to spill.

 

“H-He would hurt someone, but he's Kilgrave, there's always something  _ worse _ . He wouldn't even look like he regrets it, he just kept reminding us what he's capable of.” 

 

The masked suitor only squeezed her hand, silently telling her that she could continue and that he would not interrupt.

 

She sniffled, a tear making its way down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away. “We've lost  _ so much,  _ and we can't do anything about it.”

 

Wade thought more about the things Bella had gone through, and the longer it takes to visualize them, the more surprised Wade gets that Bella is still sane.

 

He doesn't think he could make it this far under someone's control, he's certain he would either lose his mind trying to put a stop to it, or give up and kill himself to end it all.

 

As he looked away, the feeling of being sick to his stomach came back, he closed his eyes for a second as he thought of all the traumatic things Bella had gone through. All he thought was  _ she's too young to have to go through all these, alone. _

 

He couldn't bring himself to ask but he did anyway. “Have you tried.. killing him?”

 

The kid sniffled louder and wiped at her cheeks. “Tried, yes. But when we get near we can't. . . We planned to kill him once, b-but he found out, a-a-and someone got hurt because of it.”

 

Wade slowly faced her again, asked softly. “Scott?”

 

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yeah.” She accepted the napkin Wade handed her. “We didn't want to do anything anymore, but Scott just,” she got cut off because of a hiccup. “When he found out, he couldn't take it.”

 

Wade sighed and put his head on his one free hand, his elbow on his thigh. He couldn't believe it all. If SHIELD didn't know any of this, he wouldn't have been able to do anything.

 

All those people who didn't do anything wrong just died.

 

With a shaky breath, Wade got on his feet, his hand empty again. He began to pace about the room, his hands wearily shaking and he tries to hide it by running it through his masked scalp.

 

“I'm gonna kill him. Like, right now -- where do you keep my katana? My guns? I need them.”

 

“Wade, I told you, if he sees you try he's gonna do something worse.”

 

Dodging the urge to tell her no one can control him, he shook his head. “To fuck with it, I'm gonna fucking kill him.” He stopped pacing and started heading for the door, ignoring Bella’s protests. Nothing else was on his mind except to kill that bastard.

 

But he immediately stopped walking when he heard something hit the floor with a thump. “Wade, fucking listen to me!”

 

He was already helping up the kid before he even thought about doing it. “What the hell?”

 

At first he was on the mood to lecture her about not doing that again because it could really injure her. But then he saw she was crying again, and was holding tight onto his hoodie. “Please.” Her lip was wobbly and her eyes were red. “Please listen to me. Don't do anything. He'll do something worse, believe me when I say that there's always something worse, please please.” Her hand was shaking, she didn't have a tight grip on his clothing, the begging and the desperation was the only thing Wade could hear in her words.

 

There were tears behind his eyes, he gulps every second with struggle, he's not sure if he's also trembling, but if he is, Bella’s shaking more than him for him to notice his own state. 

 

Wade can't do anything now, hearing her plea this much convinced him that she has witnessed it herself that Kilgrave  _ can  _ do worse. Hearing it on her voice convinced Wade not to do anything just yet.

 

He's pretty fucking sure he can just go in and kill the guy, but he doesn't know this place well and the guy himself, he's not sure how things will go.

 

Plus the need to have proof is dangling in front of him, kept reminding him that he needs it.

 

For now no one's life is in danger, it's mostly rage that makes Wade want to kill the guy. What he needs is a thorough plan on how to expose Kilgrave. The slow dying part can come later.

 

He swallows, and carefully, he pulls her into his arms, and stopped himself from sighing in relief when she relaxed in his hold.

 

Wade spent the rest of the day and the night keeping Bella company.

 

 • ° ☆ ° • ○ • ° ☆ ° • 

 

The next day at noon, Wade could not contact Underwood.

 

It was mostly because the intern really is sick and passed out from the meds he took, or he's talking to some SHIELD agent. Whatever the intern is doing, Wade can't get ahold of him.

 

But this isn't something he needs to worry about, if something is going on, there isn't anything he could do. He's on an island hours away, and if there is an emergency, SHIELD could contact him whenever.

 

Now he needs to worry about problems that are right here in his face. 

 

Scowling, he groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. So much shit he has to deal with, he just wants to rest on his bed and eat junk foods.

 

But no, he has to be a responsible human being who makes decisions that aren't reckless.

 

He's somewhere in the woods, because he needs to think. He needs to come up with how he could expose Kilgrave.

 

But it's so frustrating! He doesn't even like thinking!

 

“Stop whining like a kid, it's unattractive.”

 

Wade jumped from the rock he was sitting on, with a shriek, and almost fell to the creek of freezing water.

 

(With the weather, Wade's sure snow is going to make an appearance soon.)

 

Of course when he looked up, Peter was sitting on a branch of tree again, with a rare smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling with amusement, seeming pleased with himself for startling the scarred man.

 

Wade would happily be surprised again and fall on the freezing creek just to have Peter smile again.

 

He really should watch his surroundings when he's on this island, he never knows when one of them is a sneaky little shit.

 

His thoughts of Peter really has to stop, he's certain that if he were to develop  _ deep serious  _ feelings for the prince, it's only going to end with him and  _ heartbreak. _

 

Just thinking about the word and the possibilities is enough to make Wade shudder.

 

But it is the truth, there's no denying in there.

 

And it's not like this is just him and his self loathing issues, it's pretty fucking obvious that Peter dislike him because he used to kill people back then, and killing is at the top of Peter's list of ‘people to avoid and to dislike because they're awful human beings in general’.

 

Yet as he looked up at Peter, Wade saw a chance as an idea popped up in his head.

 

With this situation with Kilgrave, what Wade needs is time. And he won't have that if he was rejected and or kicked out of the island. So really, getting rejected is the last thing Wade needs. If he wasn't here, he can't do the job anymore, and SHIELD has to find someone better to do it, (preferably a mutant who also can't be controlled) and Wade will go home a total fucking loser and a failure.

 

What Wade needs to do is to play nice, so he has a reason to be here, and figure out the shit with Kilgrave.

 

Slightly shaking his head, with his eyes down, Wade agreed to this decision of his, and took the chance.

 

“We have got to stop meeting like this.” He wailed his arms around, making his way toward the tree Peter is on top of. Slowly, so that the prince could tell him off whenever.

 

“I'm pretty sure you've said that to me before.” 

 

Wade wanted to cry because the smile on Peter's face was slowly drifting away. Most probably because there was nothing to smile about anymore. Wade was willing to pull out his phone and play cat videos for Peter right then.

 

The prince had pulled up his legs closer to his body, and continued. “I don't feel bad for saying I find it entertaining to see  _ you  _ get startled, though.”

 

“What is it with me and getting startled that gets you off?”

 

“I said entertaining, don't twist my words.” There weren't any heat to the prince's words, so Wade let himself smile a little.

 

Holding the sides of the trunk of the tree, Wade quipped. “I bet ten bucks that you keep videos of me getting startled and keep them in the dark corner of your room.” Now that he thinks about it, what he just said comes across uncomfortable and really gross, but hey, he's already said it, nothing he can do now.

 

“No I don't, shut up!”

 

“I'm coming up!” He called out, when Peter didn't stop him from coming up, he pulled out a knife from his boots and another knife that he took from the kitchen, to stab it on the tree to boost up his body. “How do you even get up there again?!”

 

“I'm not telling! Get up here yourself.” Wade wanted to groan again and complain, but instead he shut his mouth and focused on getting up.

 

It felt like hours but it actually just took eight minutes for Wade to reach the branch where Peter is seated. If Wade had his things he would've made it up in no time, but no, they took everything from him, even his katanas! He cries just thinking about not being with his babies for almost two weeks.

 

Finally having to sit on a sturdy branch, Wade hid his only two knives, and exhaled loudly. Turning his head to the side he sees Peter sketching again.

 

“You do know that cameras exist, right?”

 

Peter glanced up at him without moving his head, just his eyes. “I am aware.”

 

“Why not get one?”

 

“Whoever said I want one?” The brunet sat upright, looking Wade straight in the eye, after a few seconds, he shrugged. “I have one, rarely use it though. Drawing takes more time.”

 

Finding the answer good enough, Wade took it. If he asked this almost two weeks ago, he wouldn't receive an honest answer, Peter would dodge the question, so, really, this was good. It's progress, although Wade isn't entirely sure when Peter's view of him changed in the slightest.

 

Maybe it was from when they talked yesterday noon, Wade isn't sure.

 

But hey, Wade got an answer out of Peter, might as well abuse that. “When did you start?”

 

Peter looked away real quick, and Wade was flashed with the perfect angle of Peter's jawline, but he also saw how the prince gulped. Wade wanted to punch himself, but that wouldn't be a good sight. Eventually, Peter provided an answer. “I was six. Someone taught me.” It wasn't the whole truth and honestly Wade was okay with that, he was just thankful he wasn't being glared at. Just like he said, progress.

 

He really doesn't know when to shut up, because he's still continuing. “Do you also draw because sometimes you get these erotic dreams and you just  _ need  _ to capture it in drawing so-”

 

“Okay, enough questions from you for today.” Peter interrupted, and picked up his pencil again to resume sketching.

 

“Fair, if you weren't going to shut me up, I would've continued on with the questions all day,” He sighed, quite a bit thankful Peter put a stop to his rambling, it was best for everyone.

 

“I figured,” said Peter without looking up.

 

Silence followed, and it surrounded them longer than Wade would have liked. It was only silence, it wasn't uncomfortable, nor there was tension in the air, there just simply weren't any talking.

 

Wade took this as his chance to admire Peter again. The few rays of sunlight that had made its way past the number of leaves, gave Wade sight of enough light on Peter's young face, causing him to be nervous all of a sudden.

 

The few sounds to be heard was the drift of the young man's pencil, sketching - Wade tilted his head to look, Peter didn't stop him - the creek Wade was previously on. 

 

The drawing, although is still a work in progress, was already amazing, it captured the light, and the texture perfectly, he's drawn the rocks and the trees, and the water just about right, Wade wanted to give him a damn award.

 

The eldest of them two felt his heart jump out of his chest when he looked away from the sketchbook, to find Peter already staring at him.

 

Wade was both too nervous and too anxious to say anything, he'd have attempted to say something witty, but with Peter staring at him this close and this long had left him very much bewildered.

 

“I don't think I've ever seen your face before.”

 

Trying his best to seem subtle, Wade slowly backed away, his hands reaching behind him so he's sure he won't fall thirty feet high up. Still, he answered. “My face is a luxury, only few can afford.”

 

At this Peter smiled a little, well, Wade would see it if he tried to look hard enough, maybe squint. “I was trying to say, maybe you could show me your face now? It's been almost two weeks since you've been here and I still don't have a clue on what you look like.”

 

Going over his chances, Wade kept the loud and overdramatic sigh to himself, seeing as that would be disrespectful, since Peter is still the prince. (He never cared about being disrespectful or not, but this just seemed reasonable.)

 

Wade would happily manipulate Peter into thinking he's very uncomfortable with anyone seeing his face. Wade has thought of countless manipulative ways to not let anyone see his face, but then he remembered about the being rejected part and how he needs to avoid that like it's the plague.

 

If he were to decline and decline Peter's wishes of seeing his scarred face, Peter would eventually grow tired of him, and reject him, so, to avoid that, Wade has to give up and deal with this shit.

 

And if it gets Peter to trust him more, well that's a plus.

 

“You asked for this, don't blame me when you won't be able to eat dinner tonight,” he warned, bracing himself more than he saw Peter did. With his hand tugging at the end of his mask, he breathed hard, and tried to tell himself that he's overreacting, and that he should just get this over with.

 

Peter's a nice guy, very polite even, Wade is certain that this kid would pretend his face is not that bad, and then Wade puts the mask back on like it's nothing. Easy.

 

Reaching behind his head, he pulled out his mask, and right then he's naked again. His familiar red suit was hugging his body, and the breeze of the cold November air hitting his face for the first time. His eyes were trained in front of him, of the creek below, and his jaw tensed, as well as his posture.

 

He let Peter stare for a few seconds, and when he glanced beside him he wasn't all too surprised to see the prince's eyes mirroring the disgust that is Wade's face.

 

Maybe he is a bit surprised because he imagined this day for Peter to pretend he isn't all that bad, because he's simply a disgustingly nice person, but holy hell is it still hurting his feelings to know that his face is so bad that Peter can't hide the disgust in his reaction regarding the reveal.

 

“Not what you thought you'd get for Christmas? Yep, me too.” There weren't any emotion to his voice, at least that's what he thought, so when he reached to put his mask back in, he didn't think Peter would stop him, put his lithe hand on Wade's shoulder.

 

“Wait no, uhm, sorry, I was just caught off guard.” 

 

With a gulp, Wade quickly turned to stare at Peter’s eyes, as if to challenge him that his face  _ is  _ that bad. He wasn't surprised to see Peter staring back intensely, and the disgust was back in his reaction again.

 

Okay,  _ now, _ Wade wants to die.

 

Quickly putting on the mask again, Wade had his eyes closed, securing the mask in place in record time.

 

Sensing that he was trembling, Peter put a hand to his shoulder again, and Wade jumped at the contact. Not having enough space to land on, his foot slipped, and his grip on the branch loosened. Far too quick for him to realise, he was falling, and he just accepted that he's going to fall face first.

 

But then his breath was caught when he felt his body pull back, and jerk forward, stopping him from his fall. When he opened his eyes, he sees the ground was just a couple few feet away from him. Slowly, he turned to look back up at Peter to see his one hand gripping at the branch they were seated, and the other held out, and a fucking  _ web  _ was on his wrist, (Wade isn't exactly sure where it is coming from, since Peter's jacket is long enough to hide his wrist) all the way down to Wade's body, wrapped around his torso.

 

The scarred man looked down at his own body, to see that a web really  _ is  _ wrapped around his stomach, and his body is dangling.

 

Looking back up at Peter with wide eyes, he breathlessly said. “Please don't tell me that shit is coming out of your wrist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would just like to remind you all that the young avengers, Wanda, Pietro, and everyone else but Peter, and kilgrave, (on this island) don't have any powers, aren't heroes. I hope Peter having his abilities wasn't a surprise, I put way too many clues that he's bit. Like with the strength, and being able to climb trees and all.
> 
> When Peter saw Wade's face, I wanted him to be a bit disgusted because I hate myself, and I wanted a different reaction to how people normally write these two idiots. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS FIC I REALLY WANNA KNOW
> 
> Out of topic but, I hate civil war 2 so much, it can die with hydra cap, and dr doom. Let tony be happy, and i already love riri williams. HAVE A LOVELY DAY, BYE


	11. island of good things

“Don't worry,” Peter breathed out, wide eyes slowly coming back to normal, his brows setting back to place, as if he'd been relieved to have caught Wade's body. “It's not coming out of my wrist,” He promised, grabbing a web and sticking it to the branch, so that he could pull Wade's body upwards with both strong hands.

 

As he is being lifted, Wade is still left amazed by the prince's strength. He hasn't checked, but he's sure his body weighs a fuck ton, and here Peter is lifting his body like he weighs that of a pillow.

 

And again,  _ holy fucking hell, what the fuck, a  _ _ web _ ?

 

Last Wade checked, only spiders have those. He didn't have enough time to dwell on the subject, for Peter has already lifted him the whole way, and he's now being helped to sit properly on the branch again.

 

“What the fuck?!” He squealed, and if he weren't so surprised by this, he would have laughed at the pained look on the prince's face.

 

Okay okay, breathe, he has to do that, think.

 

Obviously, Peter isn't a normal human being, he must have been born with the x gene, and he's a mutant. A spider person, or something. 

 

{Holy shit, what if he's hiding eight legs! What if he's chopped them off?!}

 

Or Peter might be an inhuman, who the hell knows.

 

[Or you could, you know, ask him. He's right there.]

 

“You're a mutant?” He's asked once he had finally gathered his thoughts. Putting the ideas of Peter with eight legs, away. He'll ponder over it later.

 

“No.” The brunet answered quietly, holding onto the branch as he got comfortable, his eyes to the ground. When he continued his answer, he brought his eyes back to the side of Wade's masked face. “I was taking pictures ‘round the island, next I knew, a spider bit me.”

 

Wade still wasn't looking at him, he just could not bring himself to. “When did it happen?”

 

“Few weeks before my uncle died. Five years ago? Not sure.”

 

“Oh..” He isn't entirely sure what to do here. Comfort Peter? Why? Because he got bit and now he has spider powers? If that happened to Wade, it'd be the best thing ever to be honest. And he's not the best at looking at other people's perspective when it comes to this type of thing. “That a bad thing, or a good thing?”

 

“‘M not sure.” Wade heard him chuckle softly. “But I caught you just know, so, I guess it's a good thing.”

 

“Why did you do that?” Sensing that he wasn't clear and specific, he elaborated. “Catch me, I mean,” He nodded to Peter, but not looking at him yet. “I would've had one hell of a booboo, but I heal! That's my whole deal!”

 

This time though, just to see the younger man's reaction, he turned his head to have a view of Peter's small smile, that within less than three seconds, unfortunately had already faltered, replaced with a painful frown, with his large brown eyes downcast.

 

Wade looked away again. The idea of staring while Peter seemed to be weak and vulnerable at this moment felt very invasive.

 

“I just,” Peter started with a shaky breath. “I just don't want anyone to be in pain.” the scarred suitor bit his lip, and kept his hands from clenching to a fist. “I don't want anyone being in any form of pain, whether they heal quickly from it, or not... I'm just tired, you know?”

 

Swallowing, Wade gave a small, almost effortless nod. “I know.” He had answered so quietly, that if his heart weren't racing, and he was able to hear clearly, he would have counted his response as a whisper.

 

The silence was tolerable the first few minutes, but now it's just making Wade's ears ring. He cleared his throat, and hoped he wasn't being too pushy with his questions. It's not like he's going to sell Peter out, he's only genuinely curious.”So uhm. Does everyone here knows?”

 

“No.” If Wade was looking, he'd see Peter shake his head. “Just you and Gwen.”

 

“Oh.” He had said the word the second time, not knowing what else to say. What else were you supposed to say when you find out that only Gwen, (a person who Peter trusts the most) is the only one who knows. Peter wouldn't have told him if he hadn't slipped and fell.

 

Regardless of his previous speechless state, he had managed to say, “Does this mean you're going to lead me somewhere dark in the woods and kill me, because I shouldn't have known about your secret?”

 

“No. You were gonna find out anyway.” Before he could stop himself, he's already faced Peter with confused furrowed brows, unsure of what Peter was talking about. “You're not as stupid as you show people, you're smarter than you let on, Wade. You would've figured soon enough.”

 

Okay, he can't argue with that. 

 

Yes he had some notion that something wasn't right. Peter falling three stories without breaking any sweat, and Peter getting so far up trees, sure enough Wade would have found out soon. But he was too caught up with the Kilgrave shit, and innocent people dying, that he didn't have the time to pay any mind to Peter's odd behavior.

 

“Hmm.” He only hummed, seeing as he couldn't find any more words to say. Given his recent interactions with the brunet prince, Wade always seemed to find himself having trouble looking for the appropriate things to say. He's Wade, since when has he even been appropriate? Since he got here. No matter how much he deny, that is his answer. 

 

This island is doing things to him.

 

“What erm, what changed?” He found himself asking.

 

“What what changed?”

 

Not having enough time to find the words to elaborate, he's said things he didn't even know he was thinking. “When I first got here, you were amused by me, then the second I got in, became a suitor, you were  _ not so subtly  _ avoiding me, and maybe flat out ignoring my existence, then when I got you to talk to me, you were always mad at me. And now I just found out you squirt web on your wrist, you aren't mad? You're talking to me, and you aren't glaring at me!”

 

“I don't squirt webs.” Peter defensively said, his tone casual so Wade didn't expect a glare and Peter walking away, and Peter ignoring him for the next two days. 

 

It wasn't just the fucking squirting webs thing that Wade expected Peter to glare and walk out, it's that Wade confronted him, confronted Peter of his actions, and the last time Wade did that Peter didn't take it well. (Peter was right not to take it well, Wade was an asshole then.)

 

And just like their many talks, Wade is walking on thin ice.

 

It's like a routine now. Wade finds Peter, they talk, Wade pushes it, and Peter gets mad enough that he'll walk away mid talk and avoid him for a day. Some days they move on with their lives like it never happened, but some days, they both apologize to each other.

 

And so Wade is here, left thinking, why they aren't suddenly following that routine.

 

Or really, maybe it just would take longer for Peter to get mad at him, and they'll go back to that routine within a few moments.

 

The silence was long enough for Peter to sigh and give up. “I told you… I'm tired.”

 

“Physically or emotionally?”

 

Still, Wade wasn't looking, but if he was, he would have seen the helpless look on Peter's face as he stared at the side of Wade's face and gulped.

 

A weak voice was all Wade heard. “Both.”

 

The scarred man didn't have anything else to say, he stayed quiet. The younger man took this as a chance to continue. 

 

“I… I'm tired.” He repeated. “I thought that… that if I push people away, their deaths wouldn't hurt me all that much.” 

 

Oh, this topic. Wade was dreading to hear a sniffle, or anything even close to crying. He just couldn't handle a crying Peter, he really can't. He's sure that he'll drop every single fucking thing he has, and comfort Peter. He can't have that. Not right now.

 

“But yesterday, I realised, that all it ever did was take away the time I could have spent loving them.”

 

This time, he just couldn't. Wade couldn't keep his eyes focused on the ground that's thirty feet below him anymore. He took his chance, and turned to look a the prince,  _ really look  _ at the prince. A small part of Wade was surprised because Peter wasn't crying, and the other part was thankful because the reaction upon talking about a very sensitive subject didn't cause any waterworks.

 

“So erm, that's why I'm here. I-I still haven't talked to the kids, I'm uh, taking… baby steps, yeah.”

 

Wade finally got his mouth to start talking. “Yeah, baby steps, baby steps are cool. It's er better, I'm glad you realised that.” And really, Wade is glad that Peter had realised that, it was time. Wade has been trying to let Peter see that multiple chapters ago, and he's relieved he doesn't have to do any more convincing, because even he has a limit.

 

Not really, by limit, he means, his mission has to end somehow, and when he leaves he wants to help at least one person to see what they couldn't see.

 

But he understands. Always losing people, and grieving is never easy. People grieve in many different ways, Wade shouldn't judge someone depending on how they grieve. If Peter was any other person, Wade would have left him be. But he's  _ Peter _ . And Wade has grown to love the kids and it's putting him in pain to see all of them sad like this.

 

He's never cared for many people before, he's never grieved that much, he doesn't know what it does to someone like Peter. Being left to stand at the back and watch everyone he's ever loved die, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

 

“Do you,” he paused, careful over his choice of words. “Do you ever wish you could forget?”

 

Wade only noticed he was still staring at Peter when Peter was the first to look away.

 

“No.” His voice quiet, and even though there was pain to it, like it took a lot of effort for Peter to say it, it was the truth, Wade couldn't find any hint of doubt in the brunet’s voice.

 

Wade is still walking on thin ice, yet he doesn't know when to leave, or to just stop walking altogether. He asks. “Why is that?”

 

“This pain… It's all I have left of them.”

 

As mentioned before, Wade never had many experience on grieving. He tried to put himself on Peter's shoes, but all he thought was to forget and to move on. He didn't think to look at the situation in Peter's eyes.

 

“What about me?” Peter hummed at Wade to elaborate. “What are you gonna do about me?”

 

“I,” Peter started, but he paused to think. “I told you yesterday that I wanted to get to know you better.”

 

“You were serious about that?” Surprised laced his words, his eyes a little wide.

 

Peter chuckled, looking down at their dangling feet. “Yeah… I also promised Gwen that I'll start letting myself be happy.”

 

His mouth slightly agape, he closed it, and nodded slowly. “That's - That's good, I'm glad you listened to Gwen.” His words limited, for his mind was still catching up.

 

“Mmm, me too.”

 

And okay,  _ shit _ , this conversation has been deep and personal, Wade wants to strangle himself. It's been literal years since he's talked to someone properly, a fucking heart to heart. They started the conversation talking about web squirting and shit, but now they're having a talk that involves speaking about their issues and  _ feelings. _

 

“Okay, uhm,” Wade cleared his throat, blinking rapidly.

 

He still didn't know what else to say, didn't know where to go next. Thankfully, Peter spoke. “Did you erm, have lunch yet?”

 

Okay,  _ shit dicks fuck balls,  _ where the fuck is this going, Wade's eyes are going everywhere, and he's putting all his effort into slowing his breathing as to not look like he's panicking, and deciding whether to kill himself up here and scare the shit out of Peter, or jump and get on a boat far away from this island, just fucking  _ go  _ somewhere, and change his identity.  _ Anything. _

 

Fuck, he's overreacting.

 

“You uh, you've probably had lunch already.” Peter continued, palming the back of his neck, and looking very awkward and uncomfortable. Shit, Wade should probably say something soon, or Peter might embarrass himself. “Not that I'm saying you look full, er - uh, uhm, okay, lunch? Yes? I haven't ate anything yet, I'm starving, are you? Starving? I-I hope not, starving is uhm, not good-” Peter continued on and on, Wade tried not to listen because if he continued to listen he would be falling on his ass, laughing.

 

Wade bit his lip to stop himself from smiling, but it was still too late for him to stop the laugh that erupted from him. He'd try and hide it but there really is no use when he's cackling this loud. Peter immediately stopped talking, and groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

 

“I hate myself so much.” The prince grumbled to his hands, as Wade's laughter died down.

 

“No no, I'm sorry I'm sorry.. what were you saying again?” Peter looked at him. “Please?” He tried.

 

The brunet had a small smile forming on his lips and Wade was glad, so glad right now that he isn't aware of how big he is smiling.

 

“I-I wanted to have lunch with you. Just us.” Peter finished his sentence looking down and biting his lip.

 

“Aren't I supposed to be the one to ask you these things?”

 

The younger male sat up properly again, looking at the lenses of Wade's mask. “I erm, thought I should be the one asking you, considering you've been asking me for lunch or dinner all these time, and I kept declining.”

 

The scarred man faced the freezing creek again. “You don't have to do this just because you feel like you owe it to me-”

 

“I'll admit that has a small part in the reason why I'm asking, but I'm also asking because, like I've said so many times before, I wanted to get to know you better.” As he was talking, he was slowly inching forward, so as to the end of his sentence, his hand was on Wade's covered arm.

 

With the contact, if it were any other person, Wade would have pushed them away and followed it with a witty joke so as to hide how uncomfortable he is, but with Peter, Wade didn't mind.

 

Wade was no expert in determining if people are actually being genuine with him or if they're just a bunch of pieces of shits. With Wade's track record of this always happening to him, by now he should be able to tell the snakes from the actual nice person.

 

Realising he still hasn't said anything, he looked to Peter over his shoulder, and wanted to punch himself because he couldn't stop smiling. “What if I don't wanna eat?”

 

“Whelp, okay then-”

 

“Wait wait! No!” Wade all but lunged himself at Peter, threw his arms around Peter's shoulders, and sat on the boys lap. “I was kidding, you fucktard.” Wade would die of happiness because all he could hear right now was Peter's laughter. He hid his smile on Peter's neck and continued. “Now! Off we go! Swing us towards the sunset!”

 

“We are not going to do that, but we will go back to have lunch, yeah?”

 

“Yeah okay yes please.”

 

“And, I am  _ not  _ swinging us there, we're walking.”

 

“Hah, I am  _ not  _ walking. Carry me! You have the strength, put it to good use.” 

 

The smiling suitor still have both of his arms on the prince's neck, and so he wasn't able to see that Peter was also smiling just as wide. “Okay, alright, I'll carry you, but when we're near the palace, you are walking.”

 

“Whatever, okay, yes.”

 

And so Peter held him, and used a web to lower the both of them down, walked towards the palace and once they were near, he set Wade down.

 

They ate at a balcony that gave a view of the beautiful island, and just  _ talked,  _ for once Wade forgot that he was here for a mission, and just enjoyed himself. 

 

He asked Peter where the web is coming from, and Peter showed him his web shooters, and how he developed them. Wade understood only half of what Peter said. He also told the brunet his interests, and though Peter wasn't giving away too much, he told Wade small harmless information. Wade wouldn't blame him, they did just have a talk about how Peter is taking baby steps, Wade doesn't have any problem with that, he is patient.

 

They spent the afternoon together, Wade was doing most of the talking, and somehow they ended up watching  _ Star Wars _ , until it was dinner time.

 

By that time, Peter looked like he had done way too much socialising, Wade let him go with a  _ Goodnight! _ and a smile to his face, because oh my god! That was so much progress than he thought.

 

He had dinner with whoever came to the large ass dining room, and watched a few films with the kids, after that he went back to his room.

 

And as he went to bed, he fell asleep content.

 

And he should've remembered that life makes a living out of fucking with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This 2017 im gonna TRY and force myself to update every Monday and Thursday. Sorry I took too long. How was your holidays??? How was this fic? constructive criticism is always appreciated, pls do tell me how im doing bc I honestly think I'm doing a shitty job


	12. island of fears

The day before Wade went to sleep was surprisingly one of the most calming days he's ever had in a long while. He wasn't stressed out of his mind, he let himself relax.

 

He ate, he watched films, he interacted with people without worrying about anything. For a few hours he forgot that he's here for much bigger important things. And when he did remember, he brushed it off, and allowed himself this  _ one _ day.

 

No nagging from a trainee, no worrying, no nothing.

 

He thought he'd have this for at least just one more day, but at the middle of the night, he woke up to someone banging on his door.

 

He leisurely opened his eyes, and was surprised not to feel the mask covering half of his face. Some nights he slept with the mask because he forgot he even still has it from being too tired. (Or not caring if it was uncomfortable, or that he might suffocate, if that was possible)

 

The banging of the door stopped for a second, so Wade didn't do anything. Shutting his eyes, and was almost near falling back to sleep, when the banging came back, this time it was followed by a cry. “Wade?! Wade please, wake up! Wade!”

 

Still not fully awake, Wade rolled to his side to look at the time.  _ 03:42.  _ Okay, what? What could possibly be going wrong this late? Is someone having a nightmare?

 

Blinking, he wanted to ignore the pounding of the door and go back to sleep. Sleep, which he'd only had an hour of, considering he went to sleep some time around two in the morning from all the shows he's watched.

 

He stayed still, wondering if this is just a dream, or he's imagining things again. But then the  _ crying  _ started, and the pounding of the door hadn't stopped.

 

Shit, okay this is real. He jumped to his feet, and wore a hoodie that was on the floor, thankful he's already wearing pants. He was in too much of a hurry that he forgot to wear his mask.

 

As soon as he's reached the door, he opened it to reveal a crying Bella. His hand immediately went to her shoulders, to either comfort her, or ask her what the hell is going on. “Hey.”

 

He didn't get to do any, because when his bare hand touched her shoulder, she looked up and her face paled. 

 

As her eyes slowly widen, Wade realises that he isn't wearing a mask.

 

This day hasn't even started yet, and it's already so bad that Wade can't wait for it to end.

 

His hands left her shoulder so quick it looked like her touch gave him a second degree burn out of nowhere. His breath hitched, darting back to the darkness of his room to search for his mask. He couldn't remember where he last left it, and with his room, this dark, getting to his mask was difficult.

 

Eventually, after a few hushed swear words, and rapid searching, he found his mask, and wore it, returning back to Bella with an apology. “Sorry ‘bout that, kid.. What's going on?”

 

“Erm.” Bella blinked a few times, wiping her cheeks with the back of her free hand, and provided Wade with an answer. “I-It’s Gwen.” The quivering of her lips came back, as well as the few tears that had actually stopped a few seconds ago. “Sh-She sh-she-” she was cut off by her own hiccups. 

 

Worry was all that was in Wade's head, but knowing he wouldn't really know what exactly is going on, until Bella stopped sobbing enough to form sentences, he reached forward again to comfort her.

 

She didn't shy away, or push him away, she only let Wade comfort her. He pats her back in an awkward attempt to comfort her, since he's only done this twice, and is still getting used to comforting kids. He really wishes he wouldn't have to do this anymore, but part of him wishes he'd be more comfortable about this.

 

“Hey, erm, whatever it is. I'm sure we can do something about it. Don't uh, don't cry… ?” He sighed after, giving up. “I want you to breathe, okay? Properly. I can't understand what you're saying.”

 

“Sh-She knows.”

 

Just two words were enough.

 

Every possible scenario of what Kilgrave would make Gwen do, was all that was going through his head. From her knowing about Wade being in SHIELD, to making her kill herself.

 

If it was the former, Bella wouldn't be crying in his chest right now. 

 

Wade is putting all of his effort into thinking that the latter wasn't possible, and that Bella crying right now isn't the result of that ever happening.

 

Unaware that his body is shaking a little bit, he blinks, as if that would help him compose himself. He knows he shouldn't, yet he still asked. “Did you tell her?”

 

“No!”

 

“What happened?” He pulled her away, his bare hands still on her shaking shoulders. His eyes determined, as well as his voice, but if you looked at him hard enough, you'd see he's shaking far worse than the sobbing kid in his sight, his heart beating in an erratic pace, and sweat forming on his face, his hands, anywhere. 

 

But he's keeping calm. Two people in the room, if the both of them are panicking, they aren't going to get to anything. Especially if one of them is about to have a panic attack.

 

Immediately, he crouched, to be on her level “Close your eyes.” He asked for her to do. If she would be sobbing the whole time, Wade wouldn't understand anything. A couple of few sobs here and there, she obeyed, shutting her eyes closed. “Breathe.” 

 

When he got her breathing back to normal, he got her to talk. “Few days ago, wh-when you knew about Kilgrave, you went back to your room, and Gwen asked y-you what happened.” She paused, wiping under her eyes with a napkin that Wade handed her. “She didn't believe you when you said nothing happened, so she searched deeper -- I don't know how, b-but apparently, there are cameras on suitors’ rooms, and she saw what happened on Kilgrave’s room.”

 

“There. . . There are  _ cameras  _ hidden on suitors’ rooms? Even mine?” Wade hoped the shock and fear wasn't heard on his voice. There was a chance she didn't notice because she herself is a mess right now.

 

She nod her head, and sniffled. Her eyes red from all the crying, that still wasn't done. “I-I’m not sure about yours, but I do know that there are cameras, only Gwen has access to them, and I know she'll only look into them if there's an emergency.”

 

Bella said she wasn't sure, but all Wade could hear was,  _ there are cameras hidden on every suitor’s room. _

 

Wade couldn't count the times he's spoken to Underwood in the safety of his room, how many times he's brought out the camera and his comm. If Gwen knew, he's fucked. Fucked in his unlubed asshole for three straight fucking days!

 

Shit, this couldn't be happening. If Gwen knew, everyone in this island would feel betrayed, they'd look at him in the eye, and even if they won't see anything, all Wade would see was  _ betrayal.  _ He never should have been close to these people, them finding out was inevitable.

 

There's never a secret that stays a secret. Someone will always find out.

 

“W-Wade?” The small shaky voice of Bella had pulled Wade out of his own thoughts.

 

“Yeah?” He stared at her for a while, and the longer he stared, the more tears spilled from the young girl's dark eyes. “That's. . . Gwen knowing about Kilgrave isn't the only reason you're crying, right?” 

 

She sniffled loudly, and looked away. When she nodded, Wade sighed and looked down. Rubbing his hands onto his masked face.

 

Awesome, what could be worse than this?

 

“What is it?”

 

“I-I haven't seen her in a whole day!” Her one hand flew to her face, and she sobbed loudly into it.

 

As of now, Wade isn't sure if his heart is breaking or if it's jumping so bad from panic. Most probably both, because he had to take a deep breath before having the courage to look at Bella and comfort her again.

 

“I… no one noticed? Just you?” He asked, bewildered. With their population, surely at least one of them had said something about not noticing Gwen’s lack of presence lately.

 

“They d-didn't think any of it, b-because Gwen is always busy.” At the end of her sentence, her sobs continued, and had gotten more loud and painful. “B-But they don't know about Kilgrave! He could've made her do something! H-He could've - could've made her-” She stopped herself from continuing her sentence. She didn't need to finish, Wade already knew where the sentence was heading.

 

With his hands back to her shoulders, he called for her attention. “Dont worry. We'll look for her, okay?” Hearing his own words, he's surprised his tone could sound this soft and gentle. Actually, no, not  _ that  _ surprised, this voice just makes an appearance when he's dealing with kids, more preferably, crying kids who needs to be comforted.

 

He left the promise of finding Gwen safe unsaid. Promising the safety of someone has never been something Wade done, especially if that promise was to a kid.

 

The young girl nods again, pulling away to wipe her face, and compose herself. She looked a bit tidied up, except for her reddened face, and red eyes. “Okay.”

 

He pats her shoulders, and locks his room behind him.

 

When they both got out, Wade called for at least a dozen of guards to search around the island for Gwen, those who had woken up helped too.

 

Even though almost every teenager under the age of eighteen hated being treated like a child, Wade didn't want any of them to be awake, solely because he didn't want any of them to worry.

 

He didn't want one more of them to be in the state Bella is in. Wade is in a messier state than the kid, but he's focused on not letting anyone know how he's about to fall on the floor and just.. break down.

 

He asked Bella how Kilgrave found out that Gwen knew, she told him she saw Gwen in the control room, and was controlled by Kilgrave to tell the truth.

 

By this information, and Gwen now being controlled by Kilgrave, this means (under influence) Gwen could look at the records on his room.

 

He dreaded for that day to come.

 

If it were any other day, if he weren't panicking, if he were in the right mind, and his job was his number one priority, he would have been in the control room hours ago, turning the control room upside down just to be able to delete those records.

 

But right now, his priority is everyone's safety.

 

  * ● ○ • ° ☆ ° • ○ ●



 

They found Gwen fifteen minutes into the search.

 

She was standing twenty feet away from the edge of the rooftop.

 

The palace was only five stories high, but with its high ceilings, it's higher than a regular five story building.

 

Bella and Wade were searching together, they were assigned to search at the third level, and while they were checking each room, Pietro approached them, his face emotionless, his eyes determined, and his voice clear. “I know where Gwen is, follow me.”

 

If Bella and Pietro had established a code to tell the other the they weren't being controlled, they either don't have one, or it looked very obvious that Pietro wasn't in control, so Bella didn't even try.

 

Both Bella and Wade followed behind quietly, they didn't know if they should be relieved because they finally have Gwen’s location, or if they should be worried - prepared for what they are about to see.

 

Every floor they ascended and every room they passed without checking made Wade's heart pound inside of his chest, and his worry grow larger.

 

Sensing Bella was thinking the same, he forced himself to give her shoulder a squeeze, to reassure her that things won't be as bad as they think, or to reassure her that he's here if things do go bad, he isn't sure which one Bella got.

 

And when they reached the fifth floor, Wade was so anxious and scared, he couldn't help but ask the silent man that's leading them to the rooftop. “Where are we going?”

 

Pietro remained silent. Wade gritted his teeth. Bella hugged her body to comfort herself. Or maybe keep herself warm. Wade only now just noticed that she's only wearing a thin long sleeved shirt. He would offer her his hoodie, but he's not wearing an undershirt, so if he were to hand it over, then he'd be topless. And nobody would want to see that.

 

Pietro opened the door to the rooftop, and Bella gasped to see Gwen standing still. Wade would have let himself sigh in relief for seeing Gwen unharmed, but he thought it was too soon when he realised she's standing at least twenty feet away from the edge.

 

Bella mustn't have realised, for she was making a run for it, and immediately stopping when Gwen was taking a step backward with every step that Bella takes forward.

 

Bella’s dark brown eyes widened, her body stiff and still in spot, while Gwen is now only ten feet away from the edge.

 

“W-Wade?” Her body still in the same spot, she croaked out his name with so much fear in her voice. She was still staring at Gwen, and Gwen staring back.

 

Gulping, Wade looked around helplessly. Behind him, the door was closed and Pietro was nowhere to be seen, he must have been too focused on what's happening in front of him he hadn't noticed when the other man had left.

 

He stared at Bella’s shaking form, and opened his mouth but no words had come out. He shut his eyes, and clenched his fists.

 

He feels so  _ useless. _

 

He feels so  _ helpless. _

 

He wants to  _ cry.  _ He could feel himself shaking and he could feel the tears forming at the back of his eyes.

 

He doesn't know what to do.

 

He feels so  _ scared. _

 

“W-Wade.” 

 

With a shaky breath, he shook his head. He couldn't afford these thoughts, not now, not when Bella needs him. He's been forcing himself to look calm and collected the whole night, he can keep it up for a few more minutes.

 

Opening his eyes, he looked at Bella’s back, she still hadn't moved. Painfully biting his lip, he opened his mouth again, trying so hard to get himself to form words. “Hey, l-look at me.” 

 

The young girl continued to cry, but was able to shake her head, no. “N-No.”

 

“It's fine, look at me.”

 

“I-I can't, I-I’m scared.” Her sobs didn't cease, her chest is heaving. All Wade could hear were her choked sobs and hiccups. Everything was breaking Wade's heart.

 

“It's okay to be scared… I'm scared all the time,” He coaxed, hoping to god his tone was gentle and convincing enough.

 

“It's different,” she argued. “You're used to being scared, you're a hero.”

 

_ Hero.  _ Wade didn't like the sound of that.

 

A hero would have done something to fix this before it even happened. A hero wouldn't have let kids be in this type of situations which has a high chance that would later become a traumatic event for them. A hero wouldn't have been so sloppy and stupid. Heroes would have done this job faster, without anyone getting hurt. If a real hero were here instead of him, maybe innocent lives weren't taken, maybe lives wouldn't even be at risk, maybe Bella would have grown up like a normal teenager, not being controlled and being forced to fall down a fucking flight of stairs just so she could break her arm, to create distraction.

 

A real hero wouldn't have let things come to this.

 

If only he wasn't so intent on proving himself, maybe he would have asked Coulson to get a better mutant, or an inhuman - fuck, anyone,  to come here and do the job instead of him.

 

He knows he fucks things up all the time, he knows he would have fucked this one up, yet he still thought to continue the mission, because of his  _ selfish  _ needs, his need to be right, to prove himself he can finally do something right in his sorry life.

 

Look at where that got him.

 

All he ever did was put lives at risk.

 

Everyone who said he couldn't be a hero were right. Why did he even try?

 

He ignored Bella’s comment, and continued out with his coaxing as if he didn't ever hear the last comment. “You wanna know what I do when I'm scared?” She didn't answer, he didn't need her to. “I just force myself to be strong - shitty advice, but it's all I've got.”

 

The kid's sobs had turned into sniffles. Her cries must have lessened as Wade got deep into over thinking again.

 

She mumbled a weak sounding “Okay.” And slowly turned to face him. Her face, and her eyes red, her one hand rubbing her other shoulder, the one with the cast sling over it. “Wh-What do I do?”

 

Eyes darting over to Gwen, just to make sure she hadn't moved yet - she hadn't, his eyes went back to Bella. “I want you to walk slowly back to me, okay? Can you do that?”

 

Bella was thinking for a few seconds, Wade didn't say anything, let her take her time. Just as Wade thought she would refuse to move, and was thinking of other ways to get her far away from Gwen, Bella nodded and took deliberate steps towards back to him.

 

Again, he let himself be a little relieved to see that as Bella walked toward back to him, Gwen didn't move an inch. Looked like she would only move backward, and more towards the edge if people were to come closer to her.

 

When Bella reached him, he reflexively opened his arms a little, and she cried in his chest, mumbling words, as her one free hand was gripping Wade's hoodie. “What do we do? what do we do?” 

 

Wade didn't know what else to do. He only placed his hands on the kids back, and rubbed comfortingly. In the past few hours, days here, it's the only thing he knew what to do at these times.

 

He continued to stare at Gwen, (who scarily keeps staring back) tried to figure out what to do here. If he called the others, they might panic, and that's one of the few things he doesn't need right now, but they might also help think, and find a way to get Gwen away from there.

 

He was so desperate that he would consider calling out to Underwood for help, to hell with people knowing, he can't have one more person dying. But then he remembered that he left his comm in his room, he forgot to put it on.

 

He then thought about Gwen.  _ What, is she just gonna stand there forever until Kilgrave tells her to move? _

 

Then he got an idea. “Is there a time limit to Kilgrave’s control?”

 

“Erm,” she sniffled. “I don't know. But if you've been away from him after twenty-four hours, it wears off..”

 

“After twenty-four hours of not being with him, you're not under any control anymore, and you're you, yeah?” Bella agreed, pulling away to look at him curiously, as if asking what he was thinking. “Then we should just wait for twenty-four hours, or however long it wears off of Gwen. No one tries anything, no one gets near, we just… Wait.”

 

The young girl agrees again with a nod of her head, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her one hand. “Yeah, okay.”

 

At least that plan seemed convincing, his other plan was to get Peter, so he would just use his web shooter to get Gwen away from the edge. But Wade wasn't one hundred percent sure that that plan would work accordingly. Who knows, maybe if Peter tried that, Gwen would instantly jump. It's so not him, but Wade isn't going to take risks.

 

He never seemed to when people's lives were in the line.

 

He was just about to tell Bella to go back and inform the guards that Gwen is found and is okay, to tell everyone that everything's under control.

 

But all of a sudden, nothing was under control, everything changed.

 

It wasn't exactly clear in Wade's mind, because it was all too fast, but then it was all too slow at the same time.

 

At first, Wade and Bella were startled by the loud opening of the door, too hard and too fast the metal door would have gone flying off of its hinges. And because of Peter's super strength, the door  _ did  _ flew off of its hinges, and came crashing to the floor.

 

He didn't miss Pietro turning around to leave the scene. He definitely didn't miss that. It was almost as if Pietro had called Peter here.

 

_ Everything  _ went slow, in Wade's mind. Peter was  _ running _ to Gwen, and Gwen was taking steps backwards. Each step held Wade on his position.

 

He couldn't  _ move. _

 

He couldn't do  _ anything. _

 

He feels like he was just here to  _ watch. _

 

He saw  _ everything. _

 

He saw Peter's wet red eyes widen in horror as he slowly realises what was about to happen, yet his feet wouldn't stop itself from running.

 

Perhaps he thought he wouldn't be able to do anything.

 

Wade thought he could stop it from happening tonight, but he saw it clearly, and slowly, so he wouldn't ever miss a single detail. Gwen’s feet slipped from the edge, and she's  _ falling. _

 

It was faint, everything was faint, and unclear. But Wade heard Bella and Peter's cry. He would always remember.

 

All this, and he still couldn't move. The look on Peter's face, was one he won't ever forget.

 

Oh how fucked was Peter. Just this morning, Wade  _ remembers _ , he remembers Peter's smile like it was a memory worth remembering, he remembers how Peter was just this morning, finally letting himself have this happiness he's been restricting himself from feeling all these years. He's slowly allowing himself these small little things, that would finally give him happiness and contentedness.

 

And then  _ this _ happens.

 

He knows Peter would do it, jump after Gwen, he  _ knows,  _ that Peter would. He just didn't want to.

 

And so as Peter jumped after Gwen, Wade found himself choking on air, and his feet running towards the edge.

 

Swallowing, he put his hands on the railing to look down at two people falling.

 

Everything was still slow. It's like someone wanted him to remember every single bit of this night specifically. Make him feel every bit of worse, and make him remember everything.

 

Peter was falling, there are tears in his eyes, his face was red, and his hand was reaching towards Gwen, who was staring up at him, wide eyed. Like she was back to herself.

 

She was back, and the first thing she sees is Peter witnessing - living his fear.

 

If only they waited a few more minutes, one of Peter's fears wouldn't have come to life.

 

Wade saw the web coming out of the shooters, and slowly wrap itself around Gwen’s torso. It felt like they had all the time in the world, because Peter was wrapping Gwen in so much web, as if one to hold her wasn't enough.

 

Finally having her secured in webbing, Peter hoisted her up in his arms, and his one hand grabbed a railing of a random balcony. They fell on the cold tiled floor of the balcony, Gwen wrapped in Peter's arms.

 

Wade let himself close his eyes and sigh out the breath he has been holding. He sat on the ground, his back to the railing, and his knees to his chest.

 

He could only hear Peter’s sobs from a few stories down.

 

He could only think about different scenarios where this specific event didn't happen, and they all lead to one root.

 

_ If a better hero were here, this wouldn't have happened. _

 

Gwen could have died because of him.

 

All because he couldn't kill Kilgrave without proof of his abilities. All because he cared so much of what people think. If he didn't care about proof, he would have gone and killed Kilgrave then, and this wouldn't have happened.

 

Kilgrave was right  _ in front  _ of him two days ago. He was right there, and Wade didn't do anything.

 

Getting to his feet, he started to fucking stomp out of this rooftop, and God help anyone who try and stop him.

 

Unfortunately, one of those people was Bella. It's like she read his intention, because she's already there, right in front of him with a hand on his shoulder, like that would stop him. It did, he stopped walking, and stood in front of her. She would give him a reason, and even though he would listen, nothing was going to stop him from ending Kilgrave’s life tonight.

 

“Get out of my way.” He grumbled quietly, avoiding her eyes, even if she won't be able to meet his.

 

“Y-You’re not doing anything, Wade. Promise me.”

 

“I can't. I'm gonna be doing lots of things tonight, one of those include killing a mind controlling psychopath. Like about, right now, if you'd just move. Please?”

 

“Wade, listen to me-” 

 

“No, you listen to me! There isn't going to be ‘something worse’ if he's already dead!”

 

“You think I haven't thought of that before?! You think I wanted this?!”

 

“I'm not saying that!” He stopped, pacing around the rooftop because, god, he is about to explode. He needs to calm himself down, the last thing he needs is a shouting match.

 

“You try anything, it's not you he's going to hurt. It's someone else-”

 

As the words hit him, he shut his eyes again, and breathed hard. Gritting his teeth, he tilted his head, wondering if telling her is even worth it. “He can't control me, alright?” Her brows furrowed, expecting him to say more. “I'm - my brain, it's constantly regenerating, no one can get in. He hasn't been controlling me, he  _ can't.  _ That was all me. So can you  _ please,  _ just let me do this?”

 

“You can kill him all you want.” Bella breathed out, looking like she was struggling to accept that Wade couldn't controlled, but she's forcing herself to. She continued, “But _not_ now, not tonight.” She told him in a tone that sounded like she was trying all she can do to make her voice sound calm, and not like she's about to start crying again. “Billy.. He's already lost Tommy, he can't lose Wanda and Pietro too, please.”

 

“What do they have to do with this?”

 

“Because! Whatever the fuck anyone is doing, either Wanda or Pietro, or both of them are gonna be standing in his room, with knives to their neck!” She whisper yelled, her mouth quivering, and her hands shaking. Keeping her voice down just in case Peter would hear. A tear rolled down her cheek, as if a memory had crossed her mind, and she continued. “They might as well be dead before you even get to his room. So don't fucking try anything.”

 

The older man felt like he was going to scream and break everything under all this stress and frustration. His teeth gritting, his knuckles white from clenching his hands too hard, tears caused by all these stress are threatening to leave his dark tired eyes. He feels as if he was going to explode if he stayed in one place too long. He starts to pace. “What do you want me to do?” He asks, giving up. Again, just like always.

 

The kid stops before him, a gentle hand on his arm again, looking up at him with an expression Wade couldn't read. “Think of a plan. And make sure to never tell anyone about it, not me, not Gwen, not anyone.”

 

Gulping, he gives her a nod, looking far away into the night so as to not see how she looks at him. He doesn't blink, his voice clear as he agrees. “Okay.”

 

He leaves the rooftop, and heads back to his room without speaking to anyone. Quiet, left to his own thoughts. Locking his door, he falls to the floor and removes his mask. His vision hazy, his hands numb. He doesn't know what to do, what to think.

 

The first few minutes he doesn't do anything but to stare at the wall before him, the only thing he hears is his own even breathing.

 

Slowly, he notices his breathing wasn't even anymore, and he noticed that he wasn't just staring at the wall anymore. What he hears now are his sobs, and his eyes, shut and buried in his shaking hands.

 

He doesn't remember the last time he's cried this much.

 

For many years, all he's ever felt was nothing but numbness. And now he's here, in this island, feeling all sorts of things, from feeling almost wanted, and appreciated, to this excruciating pain in his chest, and the sound of his own choked sobs, echoing in the small space of his room. Deafening him.

 

He doesn't want this.

 

He's never liked himself in this state. He has told himself many times he'd rather be dead than be this… emotional. So powerless he couldn't control his tears, or how bad his sobs are.

 

The boxes weren't of any help. They were making things worse. They always makes things worse.

 

He still has at least three knives with him. He could kill himself quick and easy. But he's told himself to never do that here,  _ never  _ here. There's always that small chance that someone would find him, his dead body, and even though he still would come back, he doesn't want any of the people here to see one more dead body. They've already seen enough cold bodies of their loved ones.

 

So, for now, Wade lets himself cry.

 

Tomorrow, he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, Gwen was gonna die here, and Wade was gonna kill Kilgrave but yes Wanda was standing there with a knife to her throat and she died first before Kilgrave. But that's such a shitty ending bc nothing gets solved. So. The ending might be in like 10 chapters or so. I can promise that everything gets solved. I'm gonna ask this: do you want a happy ending? Or a sad ending?
> 
> This update took me a while bc I hated my writing, but I wanted to finish this fic already. And EVERYTHING IS SHITTY. I'm trying my best not to ruin this fic, so pls do tell me if it's getting shitty, and how you'd want it better.
> 
> That being said. I hope you have a lovely day, pet many dogs and/or cats, and eat many ice cream!


	13. island of the forsaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know ive pointed this out a lot. but. at the beginning of this fic, wade is loud, annoying, and funny. but as he discovers more of what's going on around him, of the island, he becomes more serious, quiet, and cautious.
> 
> innocent people are dying, and instead of being held at gunpoint, innocent people have knives to their throat. this fucks up with someone's mind. Wade is a good person, all of these deeply affects him. I love him so much this is painfullll

《Are you sure?》

 

The last time Wade had spoken to the intern was a few nights ago. Wade asked him why the hell it took him so long, and Underwood just responded with an apology, and how he actually still goes to school, and reminded Wade, that no, he can't bring all of his ‘spy gear’ with him home. (The last time they spoke Wade asked him if he could bring his stuff home so that he wouldn't worry about SHIELD ‘eavesdropping’, apparently, Underwood can't do that, so, they'll just have to deal.)

 

The tensed sigh that followed the trainee’s words gave Wade the picture of Underwood slouching on his desk, a palm on his forehead, and his expression weary. Wade couldn't help but feel a little bad.

 

He's perfectly aware that him abandoning this mission and letting someone else take over is no sweat. Literally. Underwood reassured him on this.

 

The intern rambled a list of few mutants who could do the job, Wade got lost after Underwood suggested Charles Xavier, (as if they could get the guy) and started to think of ways on how he could continue his life after he leaves this island.

 

Bella asked him to come up with a plan last night, to not be reckless and just barge in there, guns blazing.

 

And this is it, this is the plan. It's to abandon the mission, and everyone on this island. Let someone with better experience, who's well equipped, do the job. He's not fit for this, he was never made to do these kinds of job.

 

He's always been the guy you call when you need more firepower to defeat a large ass monster, not the kind of guy to go undercover and solve a fucking mystery.

 

When he got here, he just had one thing in mind, it was just to find out who the killer is, and go. Not get attached to the people here, and definitely not develop romantic feelings for the _prince._

 

Maybe if he stuck to his original priority, maybe he could have executed this mission quick and easy, but there were _distractions,_ distractions that caused him to be a mess like this.

 

And because he couldn't fix any more of the mess he made, he's going to run, and let someone else fix it for him.

 

_Emotions are nothing but a distraction._ Yes, thank you attractive character from tv, for reminding Wade.

 

Now, because he still is a decent enough person, he's going to say his goodbyes to the people here, people who actually care for him. After that, he goes home.

 

Looking down at the mask in his hands with squinted eyes, he exhaled loudly. He didn't deserve them anyways.

 

“I'm sure.”

  
●○ • ° ☆ ° • ○ ●

  


“You're leaving?”

 

He first wanted to bid farewell to Bella, the one whom he had last spoken to. He knew she would be shocked, but as of now, taking the time to look her in the eye as she exclaimed, he didn't expect to see the little bit of anger in there. And if he stared longer, he'd also see the sadness a few layers underneath.

 

He refused to let this reaction change his mind. He's already done that a few times already.

 

Underwood had told him that he was just going to get some rest, and was going to inform SHIELD tonight of Wade's change of plans for the better. According to the trainee, if things went according to plan, Wade would be leaving the island by “Tomorrow,” He said, his jaw tight, and his eyes straight to the line of trees that was starting the forest.

 

They were in the garden, Bella was doing her best to stay away from Kilgrave as far as possible. If he were to even get close to her, he would make her report to him of new things she had discovered about Wade. One of those things was that he was immune to his control, a thing that a mind controller should never know.

 

Besides, with her being temporarily disabled, Kilgrave would most likely verbalise his ableism, yelling about how Bella isn't of any use to him now. (despite her injury being his plan to create a distraction in the first place. Seriously, if you wanted someone to fall down the stairs, at least expect them to be injured by it.)

 

And because of her injury, Kilgrave isn't also making any effort to get to her. Which is a good thing finally.

 

“I thought you had a plan.” Her voice still held the tone of disbelief, looking at him like she couldn't believe what he was telling her.

 

“Leaving tomorrow _is_ the plan.”

 

“What?!” She was leaning closer to the table, her hand now set on the cold table rather than to her crutches, which were leaning on the table. “That isn't a plan, that's running away.”

 

He hoped she didn't see him wince at that. “I know,” his voice tired, defeated.

 

He's heard that multiple times from the boxes, and from his own mind. If Underwood’s unsaid words count, then that's a lot of voices telling him he's a coward.

 

He knows it's running away, and just because he's admitted it, doesn't mean he likes hearing it.

 

“So you're just gonna run away? After everything-”

 

She was about to say more, but Wade cut her off, he couldn't hear more. “Yes. I'm leaving - running away, and that's that.”

 

He doesn't think he's ever been this exhausted from talking alone. But then again he spent almost half the night awake and thinking things through. (No, he didn't cry.) Spending a lot of time thinking, and being sad, has worn him off of his usual energetic loud annoying self.

 

People are dying, he really doesn't have any time to be his usual self. He's dragged this on for too long, he needs to take action rather than let his emotions control him.

 

Bella was still staring at him, Wade didn't miss the way she gulped and blinked rapidly as she broke the stare. Her eyes fixed on her crutches, she sighed. “Fine.”

 

“You don't have to do fix this alone, I-” he paused. He just had to reassure her, after everything she's been through, he couldn't help but feel his heart break at the sight of her looking like she's about to give up. Working together to get rid of Kilgrave had made small progress, they were good working together, and knowing that he's leaving and she has to be alone again was something Wade didn't want her to go through again. “Someone's coming to fix all of this, I promise.”

 

“You came here to fix this,” she said, quietly, still not looking Wade in the eye.

 

Wade was in denial. He faked his confusion, not wanting to jump into conclusions. “What do you mean?”

 

She sighed, dropping her hands to her lap, and finally looking up at him. But before she spoke, she looked around, like she needed to look behind her shoulder, scrutinise her surroundings just to make sure no one would be of hearing range. Her stake out ended with her eyes landing on the lenses of Wade's mask. She spoke softly, a frown to her lips. “I talked to Gwen this morning. She knows. About who you really are, why you're here. About SHIELD.”

 

It was bound for someone to find out, there were never any secrets that could be held for so long. Someone would have found out about him eventually, even though he was prepared for it, he didn't expect it to be this early, before he actually gets to leave the island.

 

Gwen must have known when she was going through the surveillance cameras, the ones that were supposedly hidden in his room, the ones that invaded his privacy.

 

“I-If if she knows…” He almost winced at how weak he sounded.

 

“Kilgrave knows.” She nodded her head once, slowly, her hands playing with her fingers as she eyes them, avoiding Wade's eyes again.

 

The older man groaned, laying his arms on the table so he could rest his head on them. He whined loudly and started to fake his sobs, because he couldn't show how frustrated and tired he is like a normal living being.

 

After all his work, the fucking psychopath already knows about him.

 

He looks up at the kid, helplessly, and he knows it's useless but he still asks. “Are you sure he knows?”

 

She stared a bit longer at her hands, but she shook her head after. Wade couldn't help but sigh. “But he's been hiding for a really long while now, it's suspicious. Usually he'd be all over Peter, but now he's just in his room. It's scary.”

 

Well, due to all the mess that's been going on, you couldn't exactly blame Wade for not noticing. He's heard the guy has been courting Peter for years and he's _trying_ real hard alright. It should have come off as dubious as to why he's suddenly very quiet.

 

“He's planning something,” he muttered, closing his eyes, like he's prepared for someone to come running and knock him square in the jaw.

 

“I figured that much.”

 

Raising his head from his arms, he started to rub his masked face due to his never ending frustration. God, when will he get a break? “How bad do you hate me right now?” He left some words unsaid, knowing she'd be smart enough to know where he's going.

 

The kid tilted her head to the side, her eyes only lingering on Wade for a few seconds before she stared at the garden again, yet Wade felt like it were longer, and every second felt so wrong. He has lied to them, he shouldn't even get the luxury to be near them, let alone be talking to them.

 

He does not want to imagine how he is going to say goodbye to Peter.

 

“You're here to help, so. It's fine,” says Bella, her face devoid of any emotion.

 

“Uhm, personally?” He started.

 

Her eyes darted between many things, anything that wasn't Wade. Her fingers began to fidget again, and she's swallowing. “I knew you caring for everyone immediately was too good to be true.”

 

“I-!” He had exclaimed, jumping in to defend himself the second he gets the opportunity to. “I only lied about my job, and how I got here… I didn't - didn't fake anything else, I promise you that.” He hoped to god his voice sounded sincere. Whatever happens, his abrupt affection for the people here have and always will be real. Dare any one else who try and say otherwise.

 

The girl's expressive dark eyes that were set on him softened upon hearing the sincerity in his voice. “But…” She bit her lip, pausing to search for the right words. A second passed and she seemed to give up, uttering the only word she knew fitting. “Peter?”

 

The scarred man's breath hitched, he'd been avoiding this. Yes his feelings for Peter are very real alright, he's admitted this to himself, but he isn't sure about letting someone else other than himself know about that.

 

But this kid watched his every move the first week he'd been here, (of course she'd know) and she was on Wade's small ass list of people he cares deeply about. If he were to leave by tomorrow, and never see her, and everyone here, ever again, then maybe telling at least one person wouldn't be too much for him.

 

Glancing at her once, he nodded. “Yep, very real indeed.. What now? Wanna paint each others nails and talk about boys?” He propped an elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his palm, smiling enthusiastically at the teenaged girl. “Or girls, or whoever you prefer.”

 

Brushing her curly dark hair back behind her ear, she allows herself the smallest smile, and the shortest laugh. It was good enough for Wade. “Too bad you're gonna be leaving tomorrow, because we can't have a late night slumber party,” she countered lamely, half heartedly rolling her eyes at him.

 

“Ah, too bad.”

 

She was smiling still, but apparently, a thought crossed her mind that caused her smile to falter. “I-I know it's stupid. But, I've never painted my nails, never learned how to ride a bike. I've never - I've never done anything a normal kid, or someone my age does.” She looks at him helplessly, her brows furrowed and a frown replacing her previous grin. “My mom left me here when I was twelve and after that, Kilgrave has been controlling me since.” She looked away as soon as Wade noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. “A-And I can't ever tell anyone about it because I didn't wanna die, and I-I didn't want anyone else to die.”

 

The second a tear fell from her eye, Wade didn't waste any time to get up from his chair and hug her, even if the position was awkward and uncomfortable.

 

His one hand held her head steady, and the other was gently brushing her back in comfort, as she sobbed in his arms.

 

“I-I couldn't cry to anyone, I've cried myself to sleep many times. I'm tired.”

 

Wade didn't say anything, he only held her tighter, because it's the only thing he could do for her right now. Offer comfort.

 

He wasn't a big fan of promises, and he didn't want to promise something he isn't sure he can do, but after seeing Bella like this, after everything that has happened in this island, he couldn't help but give her his word. “When SHIELD gets him, I'll kill him myself. I need to be sure this never happens again.”

  
●○ • ° ☆ ° • ○ ●

 

“You were looking for me?”

 

Wade isn't trying to be dramatic, but that voice almost convinced him to stay. Almost.

 

Hearing the prince's voice, Wade's thoughts were interrupted, and he had no choice but to stand unhesitatingly.

 

He was waiting in the hall, sitting on a very comfortable loveseat, and at the time he spent waiting, he also spent it on admiring the works of art hanging on the walls. Their unique intricate designs made him stick his attention to them, and made him overthink each painting's meaning. He's never really been interested in art, but he couldn't deny that these pieces grabbed his attention.

 

Getting distracted for the second time that day, Wade snapped his attention back to Peter who was patiently waiting beside him, and has suddenly been admiring the same piece he previously had his attention on. “Who.. Who made this?” He had asked.

 

The painting itself was very intriguing, albeit a little disturbing. It showed a forest, the sunlight glimmering through, showing light to dark beds of flowers, and scattered leaves. At the middle, it showed a nude woman, who also seemed to be a cat hybrid, laying on her stomach, and was licking her hand. Some would say she was grooming herself, Wade didn't think like an artist, he wouldn't know.

 

Turning, he watched the side of Peter's face. Peter had his brows furrowed as he stares up at the painting. “Uhm,” he cleared his throat, closing his eyes and looks down to his feet. “Someone who uh, used to take care of me. H-He uh, painted this a few years ago. I think, I think I was about five years old or so.”

 

Some man used to take care of him? It wasn't his uncle, if it was, Peter would have said that it was his uncle, and he never mentioned his uncle being an artist. But then again, he's never told Wade a lot of things. Not even his own parents who seemed to have abandoned him here.

 

Oh.

 

Just like what Wade is about to do. That's uhm, nice, nothing like a good old history repeating itself cycle, for Peter.

 

“Ah, he's uh, he's good. I never really cared about paintings, but this one uh, it's really good.” He had managed to say, if he were to say more, who knows of all the stupid things he could have came up with.

 

What is happening to him, he's always been good at talking, he always has a witty remark waiting before someone even gets to talk to him. And now he's being quiet and stuttering.

 

“Yeah. He is good.” Looking back up from his shoes, he steals a glance once more at the painting, and turns, so his full body was facing Wade. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

 

The older man quickly looks away, biting the insides of his cheeks, racking his brain for the right words he had thought of for endless hours.

 

He had come up with so many ideas of how he will break it down to Peter. At least one of them includes telling him about SHIELD and Kilgrave, and one of them includes a lap dance, (hoping to distract Peter from the real issue) but now that he's standing right here, right across from the most beautiful boy he's ever laid eyes on, someone who's been through so much, that Wade wants nothing but to give him everything he deserves, someone whose heart is so pure, that Wade would actually start to cry any second now.

 

But he doesn't cry, and he doesn't tell Peter any of the reasons he had came up with.

 

As of this second, he decides, Peter deserves better than anything he has to offer.

 

What Peter deserves is honesty, Wade has lied enough already.

 

His shoulders slump, his eyes tired, he leans on the wall beside Peter. They shouldn't have this talk on a hallway where anyone could literally be listening, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Peter doesn't seem to care either, everyone on this island is almost like his family, maybe it won't matter to him that much to know that someone is eavesdropping. They would be able to tell anyway.

 

Besides, it's not like whatever he has to say would be that huge of a deal.

 

He would have gone straight to the point, telling the prince of his departing by tomorrow morning at seven. But before that, he wanted to be informed of the prince's well being.

 

“How are you?” He thinks it was a good start, considering Gwen, and him, almost died last night. It was polite to ask how he was doing.

 

Peter didn't comply with a response right away, instead he was looking down at his palms, studying them like he could memorise every pattern if he stared hard enough.

 

Through the silence, Wade had the chance to study the both of them. Peter, just as always, looked tired, but not of the usual exhausted look he always carried, like he didn't get any sleep that night. Now he just looks _tired,_ resigned, like he doesn't know what he's even going to do anymore.

 

And because of the mirror showing his reflection, he was surprised to find that his body showed the same kind of tired, even with his hoodie and mask.

 

Just as Wade decided that that was a dense question, and should never have been asked in the first place, Peter answered with a forced. “I'm fine.”

 

The suitor was thinking about chuckling, and saying _“You should've just ignored the question instead of lying.”_ But he soon realised that that was too hypocritical. He stayed quiet.

 

“How's Gwen?”

 

“Resting. She'll be fine.”

 

Biting his lip, almost nervous, he isn't sure if it was okay to ask, so he chose his words carefully. “Do you know what happened last night?” After his sentence, he took a glance at the younger man, who also seemed to be in deep thought, eyes lazily staring at the wall ahead of him.

 

“No,” The prince answered, his voice subdued, his face barely making any expression.

 

“Have you asked her?”

 

It took another couple of minutes for him to reply. Wade wasn't going to complain, this was a subject Peter always avoided. “She told me she doesn't know what happened. She told me she felt like she was drugged.”

 

Gwen was back to being herself since last night. It was likely Peter asked her what the hell she was doing up there, and she must have lied just to keep Kilgrave’s name out of it.

 

The older man stayed quiet, afraid that if he were to interrupt, Peter would stop talking and forget about what else has to say.

 

“I believe her.”

 

Unsure if Peter didn't have more to say, Wade just gulped and glanced at him. Feeling more useless than ever.

 

Sometimes he wonders if he was just here to watch.

 

Watch as people here die and suffer, and watch those who remain, slowly die inside. Watch as everything slowly burn around him.

 

He tries to scream but not one of them could hear.

 

“Last night was the first time I saw it almost happen.” Peter continued, his voice shaking a little. Wade didn't think much of it, or point it out. “When - When someone dies, I'm usually deep in the forest.. last night, I was there. And I stopped it from happening.”

 

Wade gives him nod. A praise because he had done something to stop a death that would break all of them, or a nod in understanding. He doesn't know what Peter thought of it. “You saved Gwen’s life.”

 

“... I also saved mine.” Wade didn't say anything, waiting for Peter to elaborate. Patiently waiting, as Peter struggles to find the correct words. “I don't think - I don't think I can survive her death… It - It would destroy me.” His sentence finishing off with a whisper, and his eyes glossy with tears.

 

Wade thinks Peter wouldn't appreciate him noticing. He looks down.

 

Hesitantly, with slightly shaking nervous hands, he reaches out to Peter's shoulder, but halfway through, he drops his hand. He doesn't think he deserves to touch the prince, let alone give him comfort.

 

“Anyway.” The brunet shook himself, subtly wiping at the ends of his eyes, and cleared his throat. “Was that all you wanted to talk about?”

 

“No, I -” pausing, Wade almost forgot about letting Peter know of his _plan_ to leave tomorrow. “I was going to tell you that I'm gonna be leaving by tomorrow morning.”

 

“Oh,” The prince breathed out, eyes fixed on what's in front of him. He looked tired before, but now he just looks worn out. He's too young to look this drained. “Why's that?”

 

Wade had his mouth open to give the prince a response, but words didn't seem to leave his mouth. He thought over his words carefully again. “I realised, uhm. I realised this place isn't really for me.”

 

He came up with a few more believable excuses, other reasons why he has to leave tomorrow. _‘There's an emergency back home, I have to go’ ‘There's a large eggplant monster destroying Philadelphia.’_ But this is Peter, the least he could do is tell a half truth. His answer is still true, it was just missing a few more other truths. If that made sense.

 

Without checking, Wade could tell Peter was slowly nodding his head. The brunet’s face was unreadable, Wade was shuddering with anticipation. There were many times he wished he could read minds, he wished he had that ability now more than ever.

 

If he knew what Peter is thinking about, maybe things would be a little easier.

 

Peter has always been like this, it's nothing new. He's always been unreadable, unpredictable. He has always been reserved, always keeping things to himself, and he is never not guarded. Hell, even his facial expressions are guarded, Wade could never tell with him. Some days Wade tip toes around the prince, and some days he lets himself be.

 

How ironic must it be for Peter?

 

The young male has always been reserved, and the one time he comes out of his little misery shell, it backfires, and only causes him more pain.

 

He allows himself to try and be happy, he finally talks to Wade, and wants to get to know him. And on the same day, Gwen is ‘drugged’ and almost died by falling to her death. The next day, Wade leaves.

 

Either someone dies or someone leaves, Peter never wins.

 

“I don't wanna keep you where you don't wanna be, so, okay then.” Wade had finally heard the prince talk, a small forced smile occupying his lips, his eyes telling a different story. Wade wanted to plant his feet in this very hall and never leave. “Don't forget about us,” He mumbled lastly, eyes down, and the forced smile was gone.

 

He thinks about the people of this island, and the multiple things they've done for him. How they made him happy, and finally content with his life. He thinks about the kids, and just the thought of interacting with them makes him want to stay. He thinks about their smiling faces, and how it never failed to match his. 

 

He thinks about Peter, and his tentative smiles. How Peter was avoiding him at first, but slowly, he lets Wade in.

 

How could Wade ever forget?

 

“Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a sad chapter for a Valentine's day update lol
> 
> sorry updates take too long.its just that My Depression™ is doing a very good job rn, yikes. i haven't updated in so long i forgot one of my characters has a broken leg and not a broken arm???
> 
> this is almost ending,maybe 5-8 more chapters
> 
> tell me how this is going,your criticism always help.my twitter is @glubbed and my tumblr is @sixteen-walls be friends wit me i’m multifandom garbage
> 
> ryan and andrew kissed, peter is canonically wade’s heartmate. how fucking blessed are we, my dudes. recent spideypool comics is blessing us tbh, read and support them you cool people.
> 
> you guys mean so much to me i love you all for reading all of this lol.


	14. island of mizumono

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgiveness is too great and difficult for one person. It requires two. A betrayer and a betrayed. Which one are you? 
> 
> -Bedelia Du Maurier, Hannibal

It was some time in the middle of the night, when animals would gather up in their bed, and fall victim to the kiss of the night, when the sky becomes clear enough you could see the stars from where you're standing, and when your darkest thoughts emerge from where they're hiding and dance freely in your mind for endless hours. Whether you fall asleep halfway through their dance, or spend the rest of the night watching their every move. It's different for everyone.

 

Wade doesn't know what time it is to be exact, he just knows that he's been laying on the cold iced lake for a hours now. He's still wearing the outerwear that the workers provided him with, but he's wearing his suit underneath it all. It was already too cold at this time of night, it's even colder considering he's laying on literal ice.

 

Though he is freezing his ass off out here, he couldn't help but feel relaxed. It's been so long since he's felt this calm and quiet.

 

The wind was moderate, the woods started a few meters away. It was quiet enough, only the light sound of the forest whispering and a few small animals were to be heard. It was peaceful.

 

Well at first, it was that, but then the thinking started. So he had nothing else to do but sigh irritatingly, and let the thoughts consume him.

 

First, he thought of slender hands, of strong arms, and of dark hair that matched dark soulful eyes. He thought of quiet words and loud minds, of unspoken words begging to be voiced. He thought of guarded expressions, and of lingering stares, of opened mouths, and hesitant words.

 

Peter. He thought of Peter.

 

And how he's never going to see him again.

 

How he's never going to be able to know who taught Peter how to draw, how he's never going to be able to kiss the prince's lips, let alone be able to have the liberty to touch the prince's skin.

 

And somehow it ended with him thinking about how he always pushes people away from him.

 

One thing he's learned in all his years of living; whenever he gets the chance to be happy again, life comes in and snatches it away from him. It was all like some sick game he couldn't get out of.

 

For so long, he's convinced himself that he's pushing people away because it's to protect them, because he doesn't want them to get hurt.

 

But lately he's been thinking, that maybe, it's because  _ he himself  _ doesn't want to get hurt. He's protecting himself.

 

Getting the thought out there, he sighed, closing his eyes for a second before reopening them to stare at the stars again. His back and neck hurt a little, due to the hard surface of the ice, but he didn't mind, he thought enduring this was better than getting up and going back to the palace. Although everyone was most probably already asleep in their rooms, he doesn't think it's good for him to go back in there.

 

When he thought things through about leaving the island, he said he was doing it because it was to protect them.

 

But in all honesty, it really was because he knew it would hurt him if he stayed.

 

Breathing heavily, he swallowed, he didn't know it was this hard to be honest with yourself, and accept what you're truly feeling.

 

He could continue and tell everyone this was his reason, but he has to be honest with himself.

 

He could just  _ see  _ himself staying and getting hurt. One way or another they were going to find out, and when they do, it would hurt them, but not as much as it would hurt Wade. It would always hurt Wade the most, even though he would deny it to the day of his demise.

 

Out of nowhere, he heard heavy footsteps coming his way. Unalarmed, he tilted his head to the side to see Peter's large figure carefully walking towards him. He would've made fun of the concentrated look on the prince's face, maybe scare him, and make him fall, but Wade is too tired to do any of that. Instead, he tilted his head back to the sky and waited until the dark haired prince announced his presence.

 

He was just trying to make out the name of the constellation he'd been admiring, when Peter stopped, and sat crossed leg just beside him.

 

Neither said anything for what seemed like an eternity, both just reveling in the company of the other, enjoying what time they have left, quietly.

 

It was peaceful and quiet, yes, and Wade was content to just sticking to what they're doing currently, but there was this small tension hanging in the air. It seemed like it was always there whenever the two of them were this near to each other.

 

It's as if there were thousands of questions to be asked, and answers to be announced, yet they stayed quiet, afraid that whatever they have currently would suddenly break.

 

This time wasn't any different.

 

“You're really leaving, huh?”

 

His voice was hoarse and the word came out like how they'd been expecting. Sadness played at the edges, anger lingered in the back, and tiredness was the one most present. Wade shrugged it off like he didn't care.

 

“Yep.”

 

Taking the risk to glance at the prince, he saw the young man still sitting with his eyes trained at the dark forest. His eyes heavy, and empty. Wade wondered if his own mirrored the prince's.

 

Peter opened his mouth, but unsurprisingly, no words came out and he shut his mouth. He blinked a few times, thinking his words over, a minute later, he gave up. 

 

“And there's nothing I can do to make you stay?”

 

He thought of carefree laughs, of happy unguarded eyes, and of Peter's awful attempts at puns. He thought of the time Peter asked him for permission to touch his hand, and how Wade made it seem like it was no big deal, but really, he was over the moon and he couldn't stop smiling for who knows how long. He thought of the time Peter carried him around the island, and the time he borrowed the boy's web shooters just so he could form a goose and give it to him as a form of gift. How Peter said Wade wasted his webs, but he still kept the goose sculpture in his room. (Wade checked, it's still there.)

 

He thought - no, he  _ knew _ , Peter doesn't have to do anything to make Wade stay, because Wade would stay here for as long as Peter wanted him, but sadly, things don't always go as how Wade wants.

 

“Nope,” He answered, finally.

 

From this angle, he was able to make out Peter nodding, as if accepting the finality in Wade's voice. Or maybe he's thinking Wade doesn't want to be here, and is just trying his best to leave as soon as he was able.

 

Whatever Peter was thinking, Wade didn't ask, nor did he clarify his reasons of his departing. It wouldn't be of any use anyway. Yet he still wanted nothing more in this moment than to reach across and rest his palm on the brunet’s shoulder - anything, but stay in his position and remain silent.

 

He hated it, but he didn't do anything to change it.

 

So now they were back to being quiet again.

 

[That constellation is called Ara, it's associated with the altar on which the gods formed an alliance before going to war with the Titans in Greek mythology. The gods were led by Zeus and the Titans by Atlas. In honour of the gods’ victory, Zeus placed the altar in the sky. In various depictions of the constellation, the Milky Way usually represents the smoke rising from the altar.]

 

{Those are some nice facts}

 

[Thank you, thank you]

 

And so this went on, the white box suddenly being able to depict the forms of the stars, and know their names and their meanings, while the yellow box and Wade himself listened.

 

Sometime after, Wade manages to tune them out, over time, he'd gotten better at it. Though he did appreciate learning the names of different constellations and Greek mythology, he already knew at least half of them. Plus, staring at Peter seemed to be a better waste of time. Just appreciating his beauty in general.

 

Too bad he wouldn't be able to do this anymore, he'd better go and think of another hobby, a better past time. Or maybe just find another Peter -- okay, now  _ that _ would be impossible. 

 

“His name is Steve,” Said Peter, breaking the silence. Wade stayed quiet, expecting Peter to continue. “He's the one who taught me to draw.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“And uhm.” Briskly blinking, he cleared his throat, and he was looking at too many things all at once. “There was another guy, Tony, he saved my life when I was a kid. It's kind of how they met me … Soon enough, they almost always visited me, they… they treated me better than how my own parents treated me.”

 

The names Steve and Tony were normal enough names, but them being together was what alarmed Wade. “Steve? And? Tony? You mean?”

 

The brunet took a quick look at him then smiled briefly. “Yeah, them.” He looked at the forest distantly as if remembering a memory, continuing. “When my parents found out that they've been spending so much time here, they banned them from coming back. Maybe they even banned them from seeing me.” His eyes now downcast and his frown even more visible.

 

Hearing this, Wade couldn't help but be sad. “Why’d they do that? What kind of shitty parents? I mean, they already sounded shitty before, now they just sound even shittier.”

 

Peter ignored the insult directed to his parents and answered with the most helpless look on his face followed by a weak shrug of his shoulders. “I don't know,” he said, looking deep in thought. “I… I always thought something was wrong with me. That's why, that's why my parents don't want me, and why people here are - are dying out of nowhere.”

 

Raising his voice a little, he promptly said. “Hey, no. You don't know that. Things are like this because life just likes being an asshole. Shitty things are happening, but they're not happening because of you. This is 100% true, trust me, I only ever say facts.”

 

Letting his words sink in, Peter looked up at him and gave him the softest smile Wade has ever seen, nodding after. He didn't look very convinced, but Wade decided to let it go. This wasn't an easy subject, and he can't change how Peter views this situation with just a few words.

 

“I er, I told you about them because you're going back, and I thought maybe you could tell them that I... miss them.” When his voice cracked, he looked away as quick as possible. Wade's heart ached. 

 

“I'll tell them, I promise.”

 

With his eyes still downcast, he nodded to show his appreciation, rendering his thanks with his most fervent tone. “Thank you.”

 

_____

 

Few minutes later, they were still where they lay, no one said anything, no one did anything, they were content. And suddenly, because Wade was so deep into his thoughts, he failed to notice that Peter was gently holding his gloved hand. He looked up at the younger man with curiosity, studying the tender look in his face as he held Wade's hand.

 

The older male thought to ask, maybe force a laugh and take his hand back, but he remained silent. His brows stitching together as he stared at the soft look on Peter's eyes.

 

He felt his heart almost leap out of his chest when Peter looked away from his hand and right into his eyes. “May I?” He asked, indicating on taking the glove off.

 

Wade would've easily snatched his hand back, and murmur an apology, but then he remembered that this would be the last time he'd see Peter, so he chose to push those thoughts away. He thought of making the situation light by making jokes, and making Peter laugh a bit, but when he tried, he couldn't seem to find his voice, too baffled by what the hell is even going on. He resorted to nodding slowly.

 

He didn't realise he'd been holding his breath the whole time Peter was taking his glove off, he only realised it when he breathed out when Peter didn't seem to be disgusted by his skin anymore.

 

“I was just getting used to this, you know,” the prince stated, caressing Wade's hand.

 

Wanting to put all of his attention on the quiet prince, Wade moved to sit properly, his legs crossed before him, and his eyes to Peter's relaxed face. “Hhm?” After all these time, he still catches himself speechless when it comes to Peter.

 

Finally, Peter looked away from his naked hand, and now back to holding eye contact. Wade only now just got to see his face properly and felt his breath hitch, he almost felt the need to look away, for there was so much divinity in the younger man's eyes, that even if he tried, and  _ wanted  _ to, he couldn't look away.

 

Wade wouldn't say it, nor even agree to the thought, but for a second there, as Peter held his hand and held his gaze, he thought he saw a hint of desperation and longing in the prince's eyes. He thought it best to ignore it, because he wasn't even sure that that was what he saw.

 

“Your skin,” Peter finally clarified, playing with Wade's fingers with his own. “I-I’ll admit, it isn't the greatest sight, but I wanted to learn to get used to it, to learn to like it.”

 

Swallowing thickly, Wade looked down at their joined hands with troubled eyes, his breathing wasn't even, but he was trying his absolute best not to make it apparent. This was some serious topic, he really would be better off talking about something else.

 

“I-It's a part of you, and I wanted… I wanted to erm,” he paused, clearing his throat, looking away from Wade's face, and choosing to focus his eyes on the forest behind Wade. And then suddenly, he took a deep breath, sat properly, and looked straight at Wade's eyes (which weren't looking back at him, but at their hands still.) “I wanted to love everything about you.”

 

If his heart was beating erratically in his chest before, now it's pounding, and it feels as if his chest was about to burst. It felt like his ribs are a cage, and his heart was a prisoner banging on the walls, begging to be let out. For a small second, Wade laughed at the picture, having his focus suddenly dragged away and into another topic.

 

“How's uh, how's that going for you?” He finally managed to ask.

 

Though he was having problems with hearing Peter's answer, for his heart was still beating annoyingly loud, so loud that it has reached his ears, he still got to hear Peter's resigned response. “I was working on it.”

 

_ Was. _

 

He's being stupid. Kilgrave is out there planning something that could possibly destroy everything, and here he is, talking about his fucking feelings. And not just that, but the person he's  _ mildly _ in love with is admitting to him that he wants to try and learn to love  _ him,  _ his ugly self, him. And by ugly, he doesn't exclusively mean his physical looks.

 

Peter must have noticed he's very distraught as of this second, as he comfortingly set both of his hands atop Wade's. “I don't know why you want to leave, but whatever it is, I hope it makes you happy.” 

 

Wade doesn't know if Peter is aware (it's because of the mask’s lenses) but he's looking at Peter's eyes with his head still down. Peter continued. “I want you to know that if you leave now, I won't come after you.” 

 

There was so much solemnity in his voice that Wade  _ almost  _ doubted his decisions.

 

Peter was most definitely thinking that Wade doesn't want to be here with him, he certainly thinks that he's being foolish for wanting Wade to stay.

 

Wade wants to sink to his knees and tell Peter  _ everything,  _ and constantly apologize for betraying his trust, right here, right now. 

 

It was now or never. He either leaves the island with Peter thinking he didn't want him, or he leaves the island with Peter thinking he lied about everything.

 

The former seems less painful.

 

When the day comes when they finally find out, he doesn't want to be in the same island as them. He doesn't think he'd survive seeing the look on their faces when they discover he'd been playing with their trust.

 

It was the most cowardly thing to do, but he convinces himself it's better this way.

 

Finding his voice, he almost blurts out the following words.  _ “I didn't even think you'd stop me from leaving.”  _ But saying so would only cause Peter to think that he doesn't want to leave. Instead, he said, “I know.”

 

Peter blinked a few times at their hands, his frown still there, and his eyes tired, like they've always been. He clenched his jaw and nodded.

 

All too soon, the warmth enveloping Wade's hands left. Peter pulled his hands back, straightened his position, and turned away from him. His back to Wade, and eyes to the forest.

 

It's only been less than a second and Wade already longed for Peter's touch. Peter's attention. He wonders how bad he would get if he were unable to come back to his prince.

 

Swallowing thickly, Wade stared at his now empty hands for a minute, then shaking his head as he too sat up properly, covering his naked hand back with the leather glove, and stared at the brunet’s back.

 

Without facing him, Peter asked a question Wade didn't have an answer ready for. 

 

“Why did you come here, Wade?” 

 

The young prince is only sitting a feet away, but his voice, oh his voice, so feeble and so far away. 

 

Wade  _ ached  _ for him.

 

The scarred male thought it over, pondering for a more believable answer, but he wasn't able to come up with one. Not right now.

 

He opened his mouth to say some silly shit about coming here for kicks, and how he never expected for Peter or - for anyone, to take him seriously.

 

But when he thought about his words, he shut it down. 

 

Here, Peter was, openly stating about how he feels, letting Wade see him this vulnerable, asking Wade  _ why _ . He only deserved to hear the almost truths.

 

“People were dying. I couldn't just sit on my hands.”

 

But not doing anything has exactly been the only thing he'd done since arriving. He came here, he didn't stop anything, he only just watched, people are  _ still _ dying.

 

Peter visibly tensed, his posture rigid, and as Wade waited, Peter didn't make any move to leave, or to face him. 

 

Wade's body stiffened. Did he say something wrong? Was he not supposed to say that at all? He'd already said it, there's nothing he can do, he can't get the words back, and he's scared of how Peter will react.

 

The younger man slowly turned his head to the side, Wade only seeing half of his face as he asked in a strained voice. “You knew?”

 

Biting his lip, he thought hard. “I did mention that I've been trying this hero business for a while now.”

 

Peter didn't say anything after that, he just kept fucking blinking, and he didn't even move an inch. His head still tilted to the side, Wade is left confused if there is something Peter is going to say, or if Peter is expecting him to say something.

 

There were a lot of things that Wade was expecting Peter to say. Change the subject maybe, know about his double agent secret maybe. But he didn't expect Peter to repeat what he himself had said earlier.

 

“How's uh, how's that working for you?”

 

When that was asked and hit him in the face, he also asked himself the same question.

 

How the hell is this mission working for him?

 

Well, for one, it's ruining his life.

 

He's become out of character, he's depressed but doing this job made him even more depressed. He didn't do anything here. Oh and how could he forget, he's kind of maybe just a little in love with a prince, one who would possibly reciprocate his feelings, but one he'll never have. The list goes on and on, this entire fanfic has been running you through the reasons way too many times now, it gets really fucking repetitive.

 

“I was working on it.”

 

_ Was.  _ Because from now on, he's just going to stick to being what he's known for, a maniac who has a shit load of guns, who cracks jokes and makes everyone around him want to slice him in half if it meant it would shut him up. 

 

“I-I tried.” He doesn't know what the fuck is going on, but his voice cracked and he quickly looked down, afraid that he'd start crying. He wasn't looking, but he heard Peter move, and from this angle, he could see Peter's legs crossed before him, which only means the brunet is now facing.  _ Great.  _ Guess the crack in his voice was noticeable enough to grab the prince's attention. “I tried… so hard.”

 

“It's not…” He trailed of as if he was about to say  _ “It's not your fault.” _ But he stopped himself. 

 

If it were any other time, Wade would've laughed. Hell, even at this situation he would've laughed. If it weren't for the hand that was now on comfortingly placed on his knee. His chuckle was short stopped, and now his heart is in his throat.

 

“Whatever you did. I know you did your best. And  _ that's  _ enough for me.”

 

Okay, now Wade is going to cry.

 

In his long miserable life he'd never heard someone say that to him. Yep, Wade is going to die for Peter, Wade is ready. He has his will and coffin ready, someone just needs to bury him alive now.

 

Wade was too busy panicking over the fact that Peter is this good to him, he failed to notice Peter's hand leaving his knee, and is delicately making its way back to his hand, that by the time their hands are joined again, he jumped a little, but made no move to pull his hand away.

 

He stared at Peter with disbelief eyes. A look that said,  _ how in the fuck are you even real right now _ , and hopes Peter couldn't read said look.

 

Unfortunately, for some reason (maybe other than spider powers he can also read people really well) Peter can read said look, as he has a frown still set into place and had been staring so hard at his lenses, that Wade could smell the lenses burning from his gaze.

 

From the quiet of it all, Peter's voice surfaced, rattling Wade's bones, and making him lightheaded. “I know it's asking too much.. But.. But could you take your mask off?”

 

Hell fucking no he can't, his face would ruin this moment. This is probably the most romantic moment Wade could get in centuries and he is  _ not  _ letting his face ruin it.

 

“Yes.” Oh for fucksakes. He needs to get his feelings together whenever Peter is this near to him. He doesn't know what came over him when he said that, he doesn't even remember thinking of agreeing to Peter's request.

 

Okay, maybe he lied a little bit. He was so sure that he wasn't going to let his face go bare, but then the sound of Peter's voice and the look in his eyes made him say yes. 

 

He's answered a few minutes ago and he still hasn't moved, mainly because he's regretting his decision and if you'd look inside his brain, you'd see there are tiny little people running around, knocking things over and setting things on fire while simultaneously screeching and pulling their hair out.

 

And while he was still picturing tiny people panicking inside his brain, he was snapped back into reality when he heard the velcro of his mask and felt the fabric slowly leave his unguarded face.

 

The cold air was nice to his skin, and without the barrier of the lenses he could see Peter's eyes so much clearer now.

 

He's wondering why he hasn't fallen in love with Peter's eyes since the first time they met.

 

All seriousness aside, Wade needs a fucking  _ map  _ to get out of Peter's eyes.

 

Or maybe he can just burn the map, because honestly, holy shit.

 

He doesn't know how long he'd been staring, but he guesses it's been a long one, because when he finally remembered that he doesn't have his mask on and Peter is staring at him, Peter looked like he already had _slightly_ _adjusted_ to the grotesque mess that is Wade's face.

 

Maybe getting lost in his bambi eyes was a good thing because now he doesn't have to go through seeing the disturbed look on the beautiful prince's face.

 

Now that a few minutes had passed and Peter still hadn't said anything yet, panic returned and clouded his thoughts. At this cold at night, he could almost feel his hands sweating and his heartbeat quicken. His fight or flight instinct is almost kicking in.

 

But then.

 

But then Peter's gentle hand was on his cheek, and it was all he could think about.

 

His breath hitched, and he looked down at soft curious eyes. He expects Peter to pull his hand back any second now, but a minute had passed and Peter still hadn't moved.

 

With his jaw clenched, and when he had enough courage, he brought his left hand up to put it over the brunet’s stretched wrist.

 

“I-It’s,” Peter looked at their hands then back to his eyes. “It's not actually that bad.”

 

“I think it's because you've been kissing my hand’s ass just a second ago.”

 

A smile quickly appeared on Peter's face, followed by a short laugh. “Your hand has an ass?”

 

“All parts of my body has an ass,” He replied with a small smile of his own.

 

Wade  _ loved _ this. He wishes he could spend his days with Peter like this. Not a lot of care in the world, just basking in each others company. Just holding each other and laughing.

 

“Even my ass has an ass.” He added quietly, just to keep the smile on Peter's face present.

 

The silence wasn't deafening, it was just there. The smiles on their faces slowly fading. Wade's eyes slowly closing.

 

The younger man's hand never left, Wade let himself relax into the prince's touch. His own hand slowly came up to caress Peter's, and he sighed contentedly.

 

_ I could've had this. _

 

“C-Can I? Can I kiss you?” Peter stuttered, his voice faint, and almost breathless.

 

Peter had surprised him enough tonight that Wade didn't even open his eyes in shock. But he would be lying if he said his heart didn't jump, and he didn't have shivers run down his spine.

 

If Wade felt relaxed mere moments ago, now he feels like running away. Like, really far away. And maybe never go back.

 

He opened his eyes a little and saw how anxious and nervous Peter looked. Well, he has a reason to be, Wade was a hundred and ten percent sure that he's going to decline, and come up with an excuse to leave. He was going to anyway, no matter what. But then Peter just had to fucking say “Please?” in the smallest voice what had ever heard.

 

Fully opening his eyes, he dropped his hand to the side. A second later, Peter's hand did too, and the nervous look on his face is now replaced with a frown. “Are you serious right now?”

 

The younger man gulped and looked down. “I just… I just thought-”

 

“It's nothing on you, it's just that - you're gonna be really fucking disappointed. It's like when you ask for a happy meal, and you expect to get a toy car, but then you get a damn paper eraser - no, even worse, you'll get a pencil holder. Or baby socks. Wait, no, who am I kidding? everyone loves baby socks-”

 

“Wade!” Catching his attention, he shut his mouth closed, and waited. “I-I…” He paused, thinking things over, and then he sighed. “I'd rather be disappointed, than regret that I never got to kiss you.”

 

His words were hushed but it screamed sincerity and honesty. For Wade, it was everything. 

 

Also, he'd been dreaming to kiss Peter since day 1, so.

 

Preparing himself for the worst, he closed his eyes again, breathing heavily, and gave Peter a nod, a permission.

 

He waits for the firm press of lips on his own, and when they did. He never thought it'd be this heavenly.

 

He felt all the tension on his body leave, and felt his entire body relax, melt around this young man, who's holding onto him. Both of Peter's hands were cupping his face, cold and warm at the same time.

 

Wade could feel the softness of Peter's lips, could hear his gasp, and then his sigh. The hands that were on him were immensely gentle, Wade almost wanted to cry, for no one had ever held him this way, the way Peter had been touching him tonight.

 

With unsure hands, Wade lifted them, and had them settled on Peter's waist, who was now on his knees so that he was hovering over Wade a little.

 

Wade with his head tilted up, kissed back with all the courage and want he has. Only pulling away when he needed to breathe, and yet, for only a second apart, Peter was already chasing for his lips, which he gladly didn't stop.

 

He could feel the tears that are about to leak from his eyes, because  _ holy fuck  _ he feels so overwhelmed. All these feelings, all these things he's experienced. All the frustration and sadness he felt, he can literally feel them evaporate and leave his body. Despite the kissing and the lack of air from it, he feels like he can finally breathe.

 

He could not believe he has only realised this, but for a very long time, he's never felt this _ human _ .

 

He's never felt so good in his life. Peter did that for him.

 

But then his thoughts drifted to the reality of this situation. 

 

Yes, this  _ is  _ real. But it isn't going to last much longer. He's leaving tomorrow and he's never coming back. Peter is as much as a phase for him.

 

He pushed these thoughts far back, and because his tears are very much near leaving his eyes, he shut them tighter, and kept his hold onto Peter firmer.

 

_ I could've had this _

 

  * ○ • ° ☆ ° • ○ ● 



 

“Ah - uh - ah!” The familiar voice rang through the hall, tormenting in its tone enough to halt Wade in his excursion.

 

The door was right  _ there _ , just through this hall, and down the stairs. He could've left swift and easy without anyone stopping him, without anyone asking, and seeing him.

 

_ Of fucking course it wasn't that easy.  _ Since when has anything ever been easy on him? Why is he surprised?

 

Albeit he was surprised, (due to being unfocused) he didn't flinch when Kilgrave’s voice came up just beside him. “Did you really think you can just get away that easy?”

 

Fucking hell, is he a _mind_ _reader_ now? 

 

Wade wasn't scared of him, weary? Sure, but scared? No.

 

But when the bastard’s cheeky smile came into view, when he heard the deep chuckle that he was emitting, and when he started talking, Wade started to have doubts. 

 

“You know the drill, Wade.” He sing song quietly, walking around Wade as if to torment him with his creepy ass smile. Coming to a stop in front of him, he continued, not once did his smile waver. “You try anything and everyone dies - no! Really! I'm being serious right now.” Tilting his head to the left, his eyes behind Wade, ushering someone to move forward, his smile widened when Gwen (who was holding a laptop with one hand), Wanda, and Pietro stopped just behind him, their faces blank. “I told my little ducklings here that if _you.._ ” He dragged the word, putting so much emphasis on to it. “- were to kill me, they'll kill everyone on here. And when everyone's dead, they'll kill themselves too.”

 

If what he said was true, Wade would  _ never  _ be able to kill him. The control he has over them lasts for over twenty-four hours, it wouldn't just magically leave just because the controller himself is dead.

 

So yes, if he were going by this logic. If this were true, Wade would never even touch the guy.

 

But if he was dead and the control he has over them would also die. Then...

 

His weapons. The workers finally gave it to him, they're right here. They're strapped onto his body, merely inches away from his hand.

 

If he could just…

 

No, he won't risk it. He won't risk anything. 

 

It was hard to stay quiet when he's boiling in anger, his breathing heavy, and his fists are clenched so hard they're shaking, begging to land on some mind controller’s face, maybe possibly beat them to death too while he's at it.

 

His jaw set, he tried to blink slowly and calm himself down, he needed to be level headed for this or things would go very wrong.

 

{You're actually thinking things through, you're too far gone!}

 

If he were shitting his pants from being too scared, he would have flinched when the sound of Kilgrave clasping his hands together very loudly brought him out of his thoughts. “Great! Now that that's settled, come with me.”

 

With his back turned, and expecting Wade to follow, he started walking down the hall, with the destination unknown.

 

This was it. Wade could just end it right here. He's quick with either his katana or his pistol, he's quick with  _ any  _ weapon if needed be, he could kill Kilgrave right here right now. 

 

If Gwen, Wanda, and Pietro started killing people, Wade could just shove them in a room and wait it out. 

 

_ Too late. _

 

It was too late to think and take action, for Kilgrave already turned back to him and possibly had a hunch as to what Wade was thinking. He gave a sigh and dramatically looked around. Wade's heart pounding for what was to come.

 

Spotting two kids walking in the same hall, Kilgrave called for them. “Billy! Teddy! Come here!”

 

Wade winced. He supposed that that wasn't enough to gain control over the two teens because they were casually walking toward Kilgrave with little curiosity in their faces. 

 

Getting to where they were close enough, Billy was the one to speak. “Yeah?” Both kids gave him a glance with their eyebrows furrowed, and returned their focus back to who had called them.

 

Kilgrave smiled, stepping forward to wrap his arm around Billy, the other on Teddy, and faced Wade with the biggest smile there is. 

 

Confused as to why no one has said anything yet, Teddy emitted an “Uhm?”

 

“So! Where were you two heading?” 

 

“Er? Breakfast? Gwen told everyone to be there.” Billy answered, looking at Gwen with confusion still in his eyes.

 

“Ah! Right! How could I forget?” Smiling at Wade, he continued. “Going to breakfast? I don't know, maybe Wade here has come up with something even better.” Halfway through speaking, he let the kids go just to ominously walk towards him. “What do you think, Wade?”

 

Gritting his teeth, he grumbled. “I think they should go and get their breakfast.”

 

The two kids looked confused and curious when they were first called, but now they just look worried. Wade wasn't sure, but if they were, they didn't act up on it. 

 

If Kilgrave’s smile was already wide before, upon hearing his decision, upon doing what Kilgrave wanted, upon fearing him, the asshole’s smile grew even wider than possible.

 

Now Wade gets it.

 

Kilgrave knows he can't control Wade. He's perfectly aware that it's impossible to control him, because of Gwen. And that's why he uses threats. He's using lives to control Wade. 

 

If he can't control people, he'll just manipulate them into doing what he wants.

 

This man is obsessed with control.

 

This man is a fucking lunatic.

 

And no, this is not the first time Wade had concluded that, he's come to that conclusion way before he even got on this island. He's just saying it because this recent realization just added onto the list of why Kilgrave is a psychopath.

 

“You heard him, kids,” He said without giving them a glance.

 

Billy kissed his mom's cheek and told her he'd see her at breakfast. They talked to each other for a little few seconds, Billy asking her if she was okay because she appeared so tensed. Wanda only reassured him and kissed his forehead after. Expectantly, and without any more questions, Billy and Teddy left.

 

Wade was going to ignore how he felt envious when he saw how Billy and Wanda interacted.

 

“Wade.” Kilgrave called for his attention, and when Wade gave it to him, he started walking towards where he was headed before. Wade didn't even hesitate, he instantly made a move to follow the reprobate.

 

It was eight in the morning. Wade wasn't up this early that much, but he's pretty sure that not  _ a lot  _ of people were also up this early.

 

Most workers are up early, and maybe some kids too. But as of now, almost everyone is awake and are heading for the dining room where they're eating breakfast. Wade wasn't going to lie, but the entire concept of this is very skeptical.

 

Either Wade has lost it and is very paranoid, or people here just liked breakfast more than he thought.

 

The answer was the former. Because right when he set foot in the dining hall. He knew shit was about to go down.

 

There were at least twenty people sat down, chatting, and eating breakfast. Peter, his aunt, Bella, kids and adults, they were here.

 

But Kilgrave’s malevolent smirk was the one that Wade was aware of the most. 

 

Once all four of them had fully entered the room, Kilgrave called for their attention, and asked them to be quiet and to listen.

 

Wade kept his trepidation at bay, remaining calm as he leaned at the arch of the doorway, and he looked at Kilgrave like how a man would look at someone who he'd been dreaming about killing for years now.

 

If Kilgrave were to harm anyone at this moment, Wade would waste no time on throwing a knife to the bastard’s neck. 

 

When Wade stopped thinking about eight different ways on how to kill Kilgrave, he realised Kilgrave himself had already started talking to his audience.

 

He was talking but he suddenly stopped in the middle of a sentence, with a malicious smile. “You know what? I'm just gonna get to the point.” He turned to Gwen. “Gwen? If you'd please.”

 

Looking anxious, she looked at Wade pitifully one last time before opening her laptop and showed it to the table full of people.

 

Wade's stomach dropped.

 

“Now if you'd look at this.” Kilgrave started, stepping forward so he too could see what the laptop was showing. “You could see Wade talking to someone.. from an earpiece.”

 

“Okay,” Cassie spoke up, looking the most uncomfortable. “Why are we watching a video of Wade in his room? And from a camera that is clearly there without him knowing? Aren't we against that?” She ended the sentence looking at Peter, demanding answers.

 

Wade couldn't be here, he feels very sick. Witnessing this was the very last thing he ever wanted. But when he turned back, Pietro stopped him with a pitiful frown. “Sorry, I can't.” He whispered.

 

The prince looked baffled, answering. “We  _ are  _ against that, I don't know why there are cameras in his room.”

 

“I put them there,” Gwen admitted, voice low and tired. “I only put them in suitors’ rooms, I just wanted to be sure.”

 

“And you didn't tell me?”

 

“I'm not done talking!” Yelled Kilgrave. Wade remembered that the man has very short temper. He looked very frustrated, fast forwarding the video and resuming it to its normal pace, showing Wade talking to Underwood about that time when he informed him of the population of the island. “If you all didn't interrupt me, and if you all still want you listen. Wade here is working for someplace called SHIELD and he's here spying on all of you!” 

 

Everyone sat stunned, looking at both Kilgrave and at Wade. The hall went quiet, the only sound to be heard was from the laptop that was now showing a clip of Wade talking to the trainee. 

 

_ “I met his aunt last night, said Peter's uncle died five years ago, and he's been depressed since, running around the island, hiding away from everyone, stopped speaking, stopped smiling, she said.”  _ It showed Wade pausing to listen to whatever Underwood had to say, and it continued.  _ “Didn't get to ask. But his aunt is scared he'll just snap and kill himself any day now.”  _ In the footage, it showed Wade setting down his cup of coffee, scowling after. _ “He also told me he gets nightmares, s’why he just stays up and runs around the dark, and draws on the day.” _

 

Wade wished he wasn't staring at Peter, because when he looked back at him from the device, disbelief and betrayal swam in his eyes. The very sight that Wade feared.

 

He can't be here, he can't breathe, he can't think, he can't, he can't be here.

 

The foot of a chair scraping across the floor was heard yet Wade still didn't look away from the wall in front of him. Cassie was the one who stood and said in a loud confident voice. “I don't believe this.” She didn't have to elucidate to get her point across, but everyone already knew what she was talking about.

 

She was saying that maybe Wade was just talking to someone, and not some agent. She had so much faith in him that she didn't want to believe what she was seeing. 

 

Wade wasn't looking, but he could practically  _ hear _ the malignant look on Kilgrave’s face. “Okay.” Was the only thing he said, but he went to the laptop and opened up a new clip.

 

_ “Hey, come on now, who said you're not a real agent? Okay, maybe not yet, but that's why you're helping me here, think of it as like a test, after this you're gonna graduate to become a real agent, and I'll be there to buy you ice cream after.” _ __  
  
Cassie’s mouth hang open. Kilgrave laughed loudly, clasping his hands together and almost bending over from laughter. When composed, he managed to breathe out. “Y-You all literally thought he was here to court Peter?” His laughter hadn't subsided, he had to pause between words. “He's just here to spy on all of you!”

 

Peter got up rather harshly, and left the room. Bella followed, but instead of leaving, she went to Wade with a hand of hers to his arm. “Hey, let's go,” She whispered.

 

Kilgrave was too busy laughing he didn't notice. Pietro let them through. Wade hated himself even more. If Kilgrave found out, who knows what he'd do to him.

 

He really just had to leave things like this. He couldn't have left it like last night. If he left last night then this wouldn't have happened. Kilgrave wouldn't get to him, and no one would have had to see that, with him in the room.

 

Bella was guiding him to the port where his boat was waiting for him, he'd only realise this when they stopped walking. The kid now had one of her hand on his bicep, her other hand to her crutch, looking up at him. “I'm sorry it had to be this way, I wish I could've done something-”

 

“It's fine,” he reassured. However things went, he knew Bella couldn't have done anything to stop what had transpired. It was inevitable.

 

The dark skinned girl looked like she was about to say more, with her knitted brows and worried lips, but Wade making a move towards the boat stopped her. She held onto him, stopping him from leaving, piercing him with her gaze. “I'll miss you.”

 

Wade couldn't help a small smile at that, his heart softening and maybe tear up a little but he won't ever admit that. He breathed deeply, bringing a hand up to ruffle the young girl's curls. “I'll miss you, too, kid.” And just because he can't end their conversation with an emotional ‘I miss you’ he added. “I'll make sure that a pelican drops you take-out every year, just so you won't forget me.”

 

Smiling up at him, she leaned forward and wrapped an arm around his waist. Swallowing, he hugged her back. “Mm, I do need something to look forward to.”

 

Laughing lightly, he pulled away, and helped her grip onto her crutch. When she was steady, Wade gave her one last grateful smile and went to the boat that's been waiting for him.

 

Before the boat moved, Wade waved goodbye a little too enthusiastically, and yelled. “Don't break any more bones, okay! Get a hobby!”

 

Watching him as the boat slowly move away from the port, she let out a gleeful laugh and waved back. “I won't break any more bones, promise.”

 

Though what had transpired only a moment ago was chaotic and something Wade wished didn't happen, he was still grateful that he got a goodbye like this. His smile didn't reach his eyes, but that was enough, turning away from the kid, he leaned back in his seat and sighed.

 

He's leaving the island. He's leaving the people that's become dear to his heart. He's going back to how his life was before. He doesn't like it, but he has to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a month, I don't really like this chapter, it's like a 2/10 for me. Tell me what you think of this, what you hated, and liked about it. Oh wait, tell me what you think of this fic in general, I've been thinking of writing another spideypool fic after this, and I wanna know what I need to change and do with my writing.
> 
> Also, I picture Bella as Alisha Wainwright, and Underwood as Alberto Rosende. kgjgfhlf I love them. That is all, I hope you enjoyed this. 2 chapters left, get ready!!


	15. island of control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the second to the last chapter!! I hope you enjoy it!! Tell me what you think after!!

Seventeen buildings.

 

He's moved, and sat at the rooftops of seventeen buildings in the span of three hours.

 

It's one thing to not be able to stop fidgeting by playing with a knife or two, and it's another thing when even your own feet wouldn't stop moving, and would take you to various places.

 

He just couldn't stay in one place for too long, he could not breathe. He doesn't know what he is feeling, nor does he know what he is going through. He just knows that it's an inconvenience and is very unnecessary.

 

He could be in some bar right now or a strip club, who knows where he ends up. But no, he's here, shaking, cold, and he can't stop fidgeting.

 

Another hour passed, and he decided that he will be staying on the rooftop of his own destroyed building. (He also doesn't know why it's destroyed, he just got home, and he doesn't feel like asking anyone what happened.) If he doesn't stay here for the next three hours, he's going to fucking kill himself.

 

Sitting by the edge, his legs hanging, he breathes out a deep sigh. Rolling his shoulders, and taking off his mask to breathe properly. He popped his shoulder back into place, and with it escaped a groan.

 

So much for going back to beating up criminals.

 

Unsheathing his katana, he pulls out a handkerchief from one of his pouches, and starts cleaning up the blood from said weaponry.

 

He didn't kill anyone, just some slight maiming.

 

God, he missed this.

 

_Everyday the Avengers’ unity squad gets a sack of mail from people looking for help. I keep the ones that are worthy of pro-bono beatings. And whenever I'm feeling down, I grab a fistful of sorrow and head into the night and_ crush _bad people._

 

He'd finish over twelve mails tonight. He thinks he feels a little better.

 

No, he isn't worried about the people on the island. No, he isn't worried.

 

Underwood doesn't have to update him, they aren't friends, Underwood just put up with him because he was doing his job, and now that Wade isn't there, the trainee doesn't have to put up with him anymore.

 

He shouldn't worry. He shouldn't, and he doesn't have to.

 

He doesn't know who replaced him, they tried to tell him but he zoned out. But he's sure that when he left the island, his replacement was already on his way to the island. No worries. Everyone there can handle themselves.

 

[Most of them are defenseless kids]

 

{They'll live}

 

Wade shakes his head and tries to think of something else. Whatever it is, they can handle it, no one else needs him to ruin everything.

 

“I need you to answer a question for me.”

 

Shiklah, figures. Wade doesn't turn or check to know if it's her, he'd recognize that voice and that scent anywhere.

 

He blinks, turning his katana over to make sure it's free of any blood, then sets it on his side with the dirty handkerchief. “Are you -- is this where you ask me a riddle and I get it wrong, and you punch my heart out or something?” He tries to force a small smile from his lips, but when he finally turns to look at her properly, all he sees in her expression is pity and sadness. Which he doesn't think she's _ever_ going to be capable of. Maybe there's a little bit of confusion and curiosity, but Wade doesn't focus on that. It's the fact that she looks even remotely _sad_ and actually _pities_ him.

 

With her skin, her dark hair, and her beautiful, glowing, demon eyes, she's never looked more lovely below the moon, and the rustling city (free of monsters)(he hopes) before of her. The softness of her voice almost sings him to sleep. Wade remembers why he fell in love with her years ago.

 

She tilts her head, brows pulled down, as she studies his face.

 

“Why do you burden yourself with the _humans_ in your life?”

 

And with that question, he breaks eye contact.

 

Him of all people should know the answer to that, yet he can't bring himself to get the right words.

 

No more overthinking, he settles with what he feels.

 

After staring at the city for a few more minutes, he looks at her and mumbles. “They're not always burdens.”

 

He thinks of some of the people who are thankful for his _good deeds,_ how they're genuinely thankful for the good he'd done. He thinks of the kids and the workers back at the island, and how they (at least most of them) treated him like he was normal. Like he was worthy of respect.

 

“I admit, killing people is _waaay_ easier than living with them. And I've always been a masochist. You don't set out to love someone. It just happens. One day at a time, until eventually you wake up and can't think of a reason to kill them. You just have to keep going to see what you'll find.

 

“That makes sense? Or just me?” Getting the words out, he breathed fully.

 

And now that the words have sunk in, and he realised what he'd said. He can't help but remember a few years back when Shiklah left him.

 

It's because _this_ is his answer. _Again._

 

At the end of the day, they're just too different.

 

“Your devil friend is here,” she announced, turning to him fully. Her hand reached out to him, and she cupped the side of his face, while he looked back at the eyes he once was in love with. “Take care of yourself, okay?” A tired genuine smile appeared on his lips, and he lets his eyes close a little. “If you need me, you can call me anytime and I will literally make someone live in hell for you.”

 

He holds her wrist and nods, the smile still faint on his lips. “Of course.”

 

With a kiss to his cheek, she walks away and vanishes with a purple smoke. And just as the purple smoke dissipated in the air, Matt came up from somewhere. The fire escape is broken and literally everything is broken, who the hell knows how Matt managed to get up here.

 

With his back to where Matt would approach, he hums a pop song he'd heard from a radio station.

 

“You're back.” The blind lawyer simply stated, clad in his devil costume and looking stoic as ever. Wade doesn't even have to look at him to know this.

 

“Yeah,” He said in a duh tone.

 

“You didn't tell me.”

 

“Uhm?! Yeah I did, I texted you before I even left the island, dude!”

 

“No, you didn't.”

 

“Yes, I did,” He argued because he is 432% sure that he sent Matt a message before he left that place.

 

“You must've forgotten, check your phone.”

 

With a loud groan, Wade conceded, throwing his head back. “Fine! But only to prove how wrong your ass is!”

 

Fishing his phone out of one of his pouches, he turned on his phone and went to his messages. Giving Matt a sly grin before he opened their conversation.

 

But instead of seeing a message sent to Matt about him leaving early, it was just a text, it wasn't sent.

 

“So?” Matt inquired, bored. Wade guesses the smartass already figured it out.

 

Releasing a faux frustrated sigh, he turned off his phone and slouched. “I forgot to send it, my fault, I'm old.”

 

“You age slow.”

 

“Oh my god,” He gasped. “I didn't know that.”

 

“Alright, what the hell happened?” Matt demanded, stepping closer towards the edge where Wade was sat. He looked like he was about to threaten Wade if he wouldn't say, but Wade could tell he's actually concerned.

 

“What do you mean?” Because he doesn't really want to talk about this right now, he avoids the question by playing dumb. He also knows that Matt wouldn't let him play dumb, so he's really just stalling.

 

“Tell me.”

 

What would he tell Matt? That everyone else who said he can't do anything right to save his and people's lives wasn't wrong? That they were right about him all along? That he can't prove himself to them? That he's a pathetic excuse of a human being?

 

All these self loathing has got to stop, it's not getting him anywhere. It's just making him a million times more pathetic.

 

He shakes his head. “I quit,” He simply stated like it wasn't a huge deal, like it was just something he does everyday. Like quitting that mission isn't emotionally making him both miserable and anxious.

 

Matt let a few seconds pass before he gave words to his thoughts. Which was actually just a simple word. “Why?”

 

“Because,” He started, opening his mouth hoping the words would come out themselves, but unfortunately his mouth doesn't work like that, it needs his brain to _think_ of the words. Honestly, why can't he just be one of those people who say what they think. He sighs, dropping his hand to his lap, resisting the urge to frustratingly rub a hand to his face. “Because I realised that it's just not for me. I realised I'm better at what I'm doing right now.”

 

“And that's looking over a city and trying not to cry?”

 

Wade glared at him even though the vigilante wouldn't be able to tell. Maybe he can, what with his enhanced senses and all. His back slumped and he quietly replied, not feeling the need to drag this on further. “You know what I mean.”

 

Matt didn't say anything more, he just bobbed his head and sat next to Wade, but unlike Wade, he didn't let his legs dangle, he had them crossed.

 

Matt stayed quiet for what possibly was the longest time. Neither said anything and neither made any move to leave, they just sat. Wade was thankful. Really, Matt looked like he's about to say something to try and comfort Wade, like the words are at the tip of his tongue, just blurt it out and get it over with, luckily he doesn't, because Wade doesn't know how he'd react to it.

 

With time, Wade would probably tell him what really happened. He couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life. Plus, Matt is the only friend he has that doesn't shoot him with arrows when he annoys them. Clint was a jackass.

 

Some time after, Matt’s head spun to the side and he quickly got to his feet to listen carefully. “What is it, boy? Come tell daddy.”

 

Predictably, Matt ignored what he had said. “I just heard a gunshot from inside a house that's three blocks away.”

 

“Well? Go get ‘em, tiger.”

 

Again, Matt ignored that. He strode Wade's way, and hesitated on placing one of his hands on Wade's shoulder. He must've remembered how Wade wasn't a huge fan of touching, yet he still settled on resting a palm of his on Wade's shoulder. He seemed unsure and looked like he doesn't wanna do it, but he eventually does, and he forces the words out. “Look, I know you don't want to talk about whatever happened there, but when the time comes that you do wanna talk to me about it… I'll listen.” Wade had his mouth open because beside from his ex wife, Matt was the only one who told him this, and because of that, he was going to make a smartass reply about it, but Matt stopped him before he got to. “Don't ruin it by saying something weird. I'm gonna go now.”

 

And without giving him a second to say literally anything, Matt turned away, but stopped before he jumped and went on with his impressive parkour. “And Wade, I figured out how we can take Madcap out of your head so you can finally stop hearing voices.”

 

And Wade lost all of his ability to breathe.

 

If Matt had stayed a second longer, Wade would've jumped on him and hugged him for the longest time.

 

Matt promised that they'd do it as soon as Thor was around. (Because they can't just give the god a phone call whenever they need his help) and he also said that he'd get Luke to help as well. (Wade doubts he would, but he's Matt, he can do anything.) And with that, Wade couldn't be happier.

 

__________

 

**2 days.**

 

The reason why his phone won't stop ringing is so unclear to him. Seriously, he's out of SHIELD’s way, they should have lesser problems by now.

 

When Wade picked up the phone to answer, he was greeted with silence, he tried calling the trainee’s name a few times, but no one came up to greet him or say _anything._

 

There were two sides to this. Either something wrong is going on, or Underwood just called him by accident. Maybe his intent really was to call Wade, but changed his mind afterwards, for Wade wasn't the one to hang up and end the call first.

 

He put a set on to his mind that he should stop with the pathetic self loathing shit, so instead of feeling like a whining idiot, he goes with his guts, and dials the number again.

 

Somewhere deep in his bones, he can feel it. That something isn't right, it's bothering him, it's making him crazy, and he's hyperventilating. His hands are shaking as he keeps dialing and dialing the number but Underwood keeps declining the call.

 

Clicking his tongue, he gets to his feet, mentally saying “fuck it” as he straps his weapons to his body and preparing to leave.

 

Just a second before he gets to leave this outpost (another abandoned building), Underwood answers his call, voice unwaveringly calm, reassures Wade that there was absolutely nothing to worry about, and that he had just called Wade by mistake.

 

As might be expected, that didn't suffice, (for other people it might, but not for Wade, considering how he left things off at the island.)Underwood picked up on the silence, becoming conscious of Wade's doubt, and proceeded to reassure the worried man. “Really, Wade. I'm sorry.”

 

Wade turned off his phone.

 

_________

 

**5 days.**

 

He can't stop worrying about the island and it's _killing_ him to not be aware.

 

He shouldn't have shut off all of his communication with Underwood, he should've kept up to date, but his idiotic self was too busy wallowing in self hatred. His emotions had clouded his decisions too much that it's causing him to go crazy.

 

He can't sleep, he can't eat, he can't think for fucksakes.

 

He tries to distract himself by reading junk mails and helping people, but he's so out of it that a junkie who'd been harassing this teenage girl almost got away.

 

Stress was building up on him, there was too much stress, frustration, anger, all these emotions, that when he managed to catch the guy, his body released at least half of these tension on beating the crap out of the junkie.

 

There were blood on his gloves, the floor, on his suit, his mask, and all over the man's face. The man's once tumultuous cries of help, had subsided to quiet pleas, begging Wade to stop.

 

Wade only got out of it when he was being lifted off of the ground, he struggled to get back to his feet, throwing his limbs to get this built person to let him go. It won't. The person threw him on the floor instead.

 

The man on the floor coughed up blood, and rolled to his side, wheezing, getting in as much air as he could.

 

Catching his breath, he saw Luke wearily looking at him, judgement and worry clear in his eyes. Matt yelling at him, asking him what the hell he was thinking.

 

Wade doesn't try to explain himself.

 

He gets up from the ground, feet slightly shaking, the alleyway was small enough for Wade to reach the wall for support, he doesn't look at the mess he'd made, he just turns the other way and tries to leave.

 

When Matt became aware that he wasn't going to get an answer out of Wade, he shoved him to the wall and rumbled. “You're out of it.” Wade pried his hands away from his body and forced him away. Matt didn't stumble, he only had a step back.

 

Luke looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here. The wheezing man on the ground looked like he felt the same way too. No, actually, the junkie looked like he wanted to be at a hospital. Fuck going to jail honestly.

 

Apparently, Matt wasn't done talking. “Until you get your shit together, I don't wanna see you on the streets.”

 

Wade wanted to flip him off, maybe get a few punches, and someone ending up with a broken nose. (That will be him, because no doubt Luke would interrupt and knock him the fuck out.) But as he looked down at his body, he saw blood was spluttered all over his suit, his chest, rising and falling in a fast pace, his throat dry, and he's suddenly very tired to even say anything to his friend.

 

Looking up, he saw Luke carry the man on the floor, and the they all left the alley.

 

Slowly, Wade slid back down on the floor, his heart beating back to normal, and his breathing even. He rips his mask off of his face, and leans his head back on the wall, looking up at the night sky.

 

The last time he'd done this, Peter was caressing his hand, kissing him, and was asking him to stay.

 

Now he's here, with someone else's blood drying on his suit, in a rotting alleyway, with a puddle of blood next to him. Wondering if he'd made the right choice coming back here.

 

It's been almost a week and every night before he goes to sleep, he tells himself that he'd made the right decision.

  


__________

  


**8 days.**

 

Thor and Luke literally tore him apart, and this  resulted in MadCap leaving his body, his mind.

 

It was quiet.

 

Peaceful.

 

It was nice, sharing his mind with someone for a while, but this felt… other-worldly.

 

He slept without voices clamouring in his mind for _hours._ He slept… he slept alone.

 

He's never felt more content.

  


________

  


**12 days.**

 

“Don't jump.”

 

It was a calm night, the breeze was okay, the takeout was good, giving himself a break was what he needed, really, this was a _good_ night if you were to ask Wade.

 

And suddenly there was a girl on the edge of his still destroyed building. (Seriously, when will he get it fixed? No one knows.) A girl who's most likely attempting to kill herself, and is about to if Wade hadn't noticed.

 

The girl looked to be around in her early twenties, had straight blonde hair, and puffy red cheeks that matched her nose and eyes. She had been crying for a while now, Wade must've been zoning out _real_ hard to not have noticed sooner.

 

Aside from looking like she'd been crying her eyes out, Wade can't help but think of one of the kids on the island again.

 

If things were still not okay there, one of them might be dying like this, confused, and unable to stop, wondering why their body is making them do this. Every part of their being must be crying, fighting so hard to stop the inevitable, but they can't, they don't have control.

 

And here is a young girl who's completely aware of what she's doing.

 

Wade tries to think of something to say, _anything_. He rattled his brain around for a word to say, a word that would be of comfort. But he can't. The last time he encountered something like this, Gwen was being controlled, whatever he said didn't matter, because she still wouldn't be able to do anything. So now that _this_ very real suicide attempt is happening and he needs to stop it, he doesn't know what to do.

 

He's sure a real hero would have something _profound_ to say to make her feel better instantly, but…

 

… He's all she's got

 

He tries to introduce himself. “What's your-”

 

“Don't.”

 

Lifting his mask up to his lips for no reason, he casually asked. “Don't what?”

 

She looked away, wiping her face with the sleeve of her cardigan. “Don't pretend to care.”

 

Of course he cares, he'd had too many people killing themselves enough for him to be traumatised. It's why he's tiptoeing around them, scared that he'd say the wrong words and end up making things worse. He cares very much, he just has a problem with showing it.

 

What he says next just proved that. “You're being presumptuous -- I _don't_ care. Yet. You're making it awfully hard for me to get my care on. Is it a boy? A girl? Money?-”

 

“Are you trying to make me jump?!” She'd exclaimed in either anger or annoyance, Wade couldn't tell the two apart when people react to him.

 

“No! Never. Though I've been told that I can make people very uncomfortable.”

 

She just continued crying. Shit shit.

 

He sighed. Alright, no more tip toe-ing, and no more anything. “I'll make you an offer. If you're determined that this is gonna be your last night on Earth -- what do you wanna do? Have you seen _Hamilton_ yet?”

 

“You're a maniac, what is wrong with you?” She sniffled, but answered his question nonetheless. “No, I haven't seen it yet. And anyway, aren't tickets like a million dollars and impossible to get?”

 

He smiled, a real one for the first time in ages. “Don't worry! I know a guy with tickets.”

 

He doesn't really know a guy with tickets. But he does know a couple of man-slaughtering slumlords who have some, (he knew about them because someone from the Avengers’ mail cried for help) and are actually watching the show right now. He won't kill them, maybe knock them out until the show is over, but the girl doesn't have to know that.

 

By the end of the show, they actually both had a good time. Judging from the smile on her face, the puffiness of her crying was gone before the show even started. Who knew Hamilton could do that?!

 

After the show, Wade asked her where they should go next, and she just answered with. “Stark Industries observation deck.” Apparently she'd just jump to her death there.

 

Taking a deep breath, he crossed his arms over his chest, asking in in a low voice. “Let's cut the shit. Are your problems anything that require punching?”

 

“I don't know.” She simply answered before turning to face him. “I know what you're going to say. Violence doesn't solve everything.”

 

Wade smirks, it's like she doesn't even know him!

 

He ends up suggesting that they beat some guy from one of the mails he'd stolen from the Avengers. She told him her name, Danielle, after she jokingly accused him of kidnapping her. Which he jokingly replied with. “I only kidnap for money.”

 

She made the rounds with him, rounds which he can make! Matt said he could continue once he has his shit together. Now that would be _impossible_ for him to achieve, but hey, he's helping a kid, this is excusable.

 

Danielle felt a little better when she beat a few men who were a hundred percent worthy of a few beatings, and a few ton of computers, with a baseball bat. While she was doing that, Wade stepped aside and called an acquaintance of his that works at a nearby hospital. Okay, not really an acquaintance, he just gave the staff a call, saying that they should expect Danielle in a couple of hours.

 

When their little rendezvous  ended, they left the shady building, leaving it for the cops to take care of, and hopped on a random motorcycle.

 

With Danielle behind him, she asked. “Did we just steal a motorcycle?”

 

The masked man chuckled. “I dunno, did we? What does your heart tell you? C'mon! We had _fun_ , right? Aren't you glad you picked my address to fail to _off_ yourself?”

 

“Yeah, sure, but I think you have a pretty good handle on things without me.” She got a little quiet, the only thing Wade could hear was the rumbling of the engine, and the cars all around them. Wade cursed himself for asking that, he thought things would be a little lighter now. “Like the rest of the world.” she paused. “You can let me off anywhere.”

 

Spotting the well lit hospital, Wade slowed down the vehicle in front of it. “No, I can't. I'm smart enough to know I'm dumb enough that I can't help you…” Giving the entrance of the hospital a look, he continued. “but _they_ can.”

 

Her blue eyes widened in anger. “You _promised_ to let me go!”

 

“I am. This is where you and I part ways. I've been texting the staff, they're expecting you.”

 

Her features softened, her shoulders slumped. Gulping, she examined the the busy hospital, her voice dull when she spoke again. “What if I don't want to go inside? Are you going to make me?”

 

His eyes downcast, and his face pulled into a frown. “I-I dunno. I don't think I'll have to because… I think you want to walk in. Will you walk in with me?” Twisting his body a bit so he'd be facing her, he carried on. “Listen, I don't think you're crazy. You just need a little help. And I am _not_ the guy to help you.” He said the last sentence thinking about the people he'd ‘helped’ and grimaced.

 

Danielle looked down at her hands, and started to fidget. Her breathing as deep as her thoughts, and Wade sat patiently, giving her all the time to think this through. She gave him one last look, and carefully hopped off. She offered him a small tight smile, and noticing that she's subtly waiting for him, he followed her inside without uttering a single word.

 

The clean bright lights of the building hurt his eyes a bit, and that hospital smell is making him think of ugly things. Yet he carried on, quietly walking alongside Danielle as they reach the front desk.

 

There, a brown lady in scrubs ushered Danielle to follow her, and they both gave him small smiles, which he returned.

 

As he was about to turn back and head home, a telephone rung. Of course, he didn't pay any mind to it, he kept on his walk out of the building, until the lady at the front desk called for him. “Wade?”

 

Gradually, he swivelled and gave her a confused look. But she only stared back with empty eyes, and an empty smile, lifting the phone a little, a gesture that the call was for him.

 

Alright, something isn't right. He can smell it in the air, he can literally see it.

 

He ignored his erratic heart, and reached for the phone, then bringing it up to his ears. He didn't speak, he didn't do anything, he was waiting for the person at the other end to speak first.

 

“Wade.” A venomous voice dragged his name. Wade could almost hear the malicious smirk covering the man's features.

 

Kilgrave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Danielle is on Deadpool #20 if you wanna read the whole issue!! (Even though what I wrote was kind of a summarised version, sorry)
> 
> I'd give out suicide hotlines but every country has a different one, and not everyone is strong enough to talk about this through phone conversations. I'm not sure if this would help, but there's a site called 7cups.com where you can talk about anything to a “listener” you can rant, vent, ANYTHING, and they would just listen. Maybe help too if you'd ask. It will instantly take you to a chat room with a listener,(or you can browse for a listener yourself) and you're all set. They also have an app, they have exercises to help you get better and some exercises to help when you get anxiety or panic attacks. They also have discussions, and group chats. And if you just want to help other people, you can try and be a listener yourself if you want.
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST ONE. GET READY!!!
> 
> (Also, If you have some ideas/suggestions, I can make this into a series and write some small stuff every now and then I guess. My twitter is @/fLnnmertens and my tumblr is @/sixteen-walls!!!)


	16. island of fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long. I've rewritten this chapter 8 times now and I've settled on this ending. Hope it wasn't shitty, do tell me what you think after!!

Looking around, the whole thing felt so unrealistic. Sweat is trickling his skin, there'd be more of them if it weren't for the cold weather surrounding him. Actually, nevermind the cold weather, he's so nervous and scared that he's sweating profusely, and the damned English man on the phone hasn't even said anything remotely threatening yet.

 

This, this is how Kilgrave wants him, the psychopath wants him shaking in his bones the minute he hears his cold voice. Wade shouldn't be reacting like this, he's only feeding into Kilgrave’s ego. But he couldn't help it, his mind is running hundreds of scenarios of various ways Kilgrave would hurt anyone, and he wouldn't be able to do anything, considering he's miles away.

 

His breath is caught in his throat, his mouth open but is dry, his brain is trying to come up with anything to say, but he doesn't even know what to think. 

 

He only knows that he feels like he is suffocating, his body immobile and unmoving, while everything else around him remains the same.

 

How could everything else in the world continue on when he's stuck in his place. The wall clock remains ticking, nurses and patients walk around and passes him without a second thought, echoes of voices, demands and pleas are unclear, he couldn't make out words. While his mind crumbling as well as his knees.

 

The phone still in a strong clasp by his hand, his hand, pale and shaking as Kilgrave started to speak.

 

His hearing started to clear, and he feels like he needs to empty his stomach for the first intelligible sound that he could make out was the chuckling of a murderous criminal. “Oh my god you have no idea of how much I love myself right now.”

 

Noticing his distress, Wade could only picture the smug look on the bastard’s face. 

 

“Calm your fucking tits, I didn't go out and have a baby killing spree.” Wade shuddered at the thought. “I just kind of injected a.. a tiny bit of drugs in me, and now I'm perfectly capable of accessing a certain building's speakers, and make every single person on said building jump!”

 

The tightness in his chest worsened, as well as the clenching of his fists. Though it wasn't half as bad as his nerves and fears. Now,  _ those,  _ are another level of worse.

 

As Kilgrave went on about how he found more of the serum that got him to control people in the first place, and how he's now more powerful than ever, his eyes rapidly scoured the room, checking where the camera is because it is very possible (and is the only logical answer) that Kilgrave is watching him through it.

 

Sure enough, a camera is sitting perfectly at the ceiling. But his next question though, has many answers, answers which he couldn't get to as of now. 

 

The question is, is Kilgrave in this building? Or is he still in the island?

 

Because if that son of a bitch is here, Wade is gonna go in there guns blazing, and make sure Kilgrave dies a slow painful death. 

 

As he was picturing the many ways he can torture Kilgrave, he slowly registers what the man is actually saying.

 

Not having a single clue as to what he is saying, Wade decides to finally speak. “What do you want?”

 

A pause, and Kilgrave became silent enough that Wade was able to hear his smile. “A lot of things, actually. For a guy with utmost mind control, I can't seem to always get what I want. Shame.”

 

“What do you want?” Wade says, firmer this time. Not a crack to his voice, nor a fist slammed into any solid surfaces. Just a demand.

 

Wade could see Kilgrave’s smirk growing as he sits properly. “I want you to come here.”

 

Breathing heavily, he lowered his head, his other hand gripping the desk. He tilted his head, knowing full well that Kilgrave means the island.

 

Another chortle have found its way into his ears, and all he wants right now is to bathe in acid and then blow his eardrums out just to forget that sound or never hear it again, both solutions sound good. “Just letting you know that if you aren't here in two hours, I'm gonna start killing everyone.”

 

If super strength was one of the few things he acquired, the desk beneath his shaking hands would have been broken by now. Unfortunately, he doesn't posses that power, therefore the desk remains unbothered, and his shaking hand is in pain.

 

His chest felt constricting, and he feels the world swaying around him. The buzz around him turned to ringing as all of his panic buttons have been pushed.

 

Composing himself, he let himself breathe through his nose and calmly while doing so. Relaxing his hand, he returned the phone to the lady at the desk, and returned the way he came without a second word.

 

His steps heavy, his back rigid, he breathes, in and out. All the images in his head are of the people on the island standing still, waiting for Kilgrave to tell them what to do. All he sees is Peter watching what will unfold.

 

As more images come to mind, his steps got faster by the second. 

 

His head is clear. He goes in there and flies a bullet straight to that bastard’s head. Right between his eyes. Fuck his slow death, Wade's gonna kill him the second he sees him.

 

Seeing his bike where he last parked it, he almost jumped into it when Matt appeared out of nowhere. 

 

“Who was that?” The lawyer stood in front of him, his hand on Wade's chest, stopping him.

 

Wade doesn't have time for this. Putting a hand on top of the vigilante’s, he pries the man off of him and pushes him away, growling. “I'll deal with it.”

 

“No.” Matt pulled him away from his bike, having an incredibly strong grip on Wade's jacket.

 

He heard Wade's conversation with Kilgrave, it's the only explanation here. If the roles were reversed, Wade would've wanted to help too. But this one's different. Matt can't help, and he's running out of time. 

 

He puts it simply. “He's a mind controller. Your senses are so heightened you'd probably do as he say before we even get into the island. So I'm doing this on my own.”

 

To his surprise, when he turned to hop into his bike, Matt didn't stop him. He must've figured that Wade wasn't lying.

 

But a second after he started the engine, and is just a second away into driving as fast as he could into the night, Matt says. 

 

“Take Clint. He's deaf.”

 

And if Wade wasn't a human embodiment of a thousand people panicking at the moment, he would've laughed.

 

But he's Wade, so, yes, he still did laugh. He wouldn't be Wade if he didn't. 

 

Clint’s not just deaf though, if things got messy, Clint could stay somewhere and just put an arrow between Kilgrave’s eyes. (Wade wants to do it himself, but the need to have the guy dead as soon as possible outweighs that want.) And, they could use one of SHIELD’s jets and get to the island faster, which is a plus.

 

  * ○ • ° ☆ ° • ○ ● 



 

**23:42**

 

_ 30 minutes since the phone call.  _

 

The whole ride to the island was spent pacing around the jet, and when Clint yelled at him to calm the fuck down and sit, he sat but he had his knee annoyingly bouncing up and down, which resulted in Clint banging his head on the steering wheel.

 

If he's not pacing, he's bouncing his knees, if he's not doing that either, he'll be cleaning his weapons, or he'll be playing with them, or he'll be running his mouth off.

 

When he's not doing  _ any  _ of those, he's annoying Clint, who looks like he's about to shove an arrow into Wade's skull, or maybe his own.

 

He's about to ask the agent if they're there yet for the sixty-seventh time, when his phone rang in one of his pockets.

 

_ Underwood _

 

It was ‘Underwear’ before, but then they kind of stopped talking, so now he's back to his own boring name. 

 

The fact that Underwood is calling him just reached his brain and now he's back to panicking.

 

Why is the trainee calling him?

 

Oh no, it must be about what happened in the island. Not for the first time that night, Wade isn't afraid to admit that he is shaking in his boots.

 

Swallowing rather painfully so, he answers.

 

“Oh my god, Wade.” He breathed out, as if he was relieved… Why? 

 

There were so many questions Wade wanted to ask. What happened? How did this happen? What do you know? So on and so forth. But the first question that left his lips, was. “Who's the guy that replaced me and what happened to him?”

 

“David Haller,” He said. “H-He's a mutant, he was supposed to be the one to replace you. But when he got there, there was this weird metal ball thingy! That took him! And now! He's gone!”

 

Weird stuff happens all the time, Wade overlooked this. (Surely SHIELD is already looking for the poor guy anyway.) “And you? What happened to you?” It would take an idiot to not notice that the trainee’s voice was shaky and tense, Wade could practically hear the palpitating of the boy's heart.

 

“H-He… he.” His voice lowered, clearing his throat when Wade heard shuffling. “He somehow got ahold of my number and controlled me to not alarm my handlers about the situation. I tried… I tried calling you.” Wade leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs, closing his eyes as he recalls the time Underwood had been trying to call him, and he had been making great efforts to avoid the calls. Until it was too late. “But when you finally answered, Kilgrave already got to me.”

 

Rubbing his forehead with his free hand, he sighed. “I'm sorry.”

 

Underwood didn't tell him that it was fine because it wasn't. If he hadn't been a piece of crap drenched in self hate, maybe they could've stopped this before it ever happened. And now innocent people could be suffering because of his stubborn ass.

 

“He said that if he caught me trying to  _ ‘fuck this up for him’ _ he'd kill me.”

 

Looking out of the window, his hand in a clenching fist, he repeats countless apologies in his mind, praying to any god that's listening that he's not too late.

 

The broken sound of Underwood’s voice rang in Wade's ear. “I-I was going to do it, tell you what was happening, tell SHIELD. I was scared h-he’d kill me, b-but it was between me and the people at the island’s lives, I-” he was full on sobbing that he couldn't finish his sentence and just gave up.

 

Wade's chest tightened, tears threatened to form in his eyes, he ignored it and was about to comfort the intern, when he spoke again. “I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner,” He hiccuped, Wade knew where this was going, he wanted to interrupt before the intern could finish his sentence. “I should've told  _ someone.  _ It's one life against thirty! I shouldn't have hesitated! No one would even care about me, I don't have anyone, and they-”

 

“Hey, just… just stop talking and breathe, you idiot.” Wade breathed out, gloved fingers of his pressing a little too hard on his eyes, while trying to keep his heart calm again. 

 

He knows that talk all too well, he hears it from himself a little more than once, and hearing it from someone like Underwood figuratively  _ hurts  _ him.

 

“Listen,” He started. “Your life isn't worth less than anyone. You matter just as anyone else. So, you didn't tell anyone, that's 112% okay, you were scared, normal human beings get scared.”

 

He presses his phone closer to his ears, and felt relieved when he hears the trainee trying to level his breathing. Waiting for the intern to calm down, he looked to the front of the jet to see Clint’s worried expression facing him. He shrugged, not having anything snarky nor stupid to comment. Clint offered a small smile, and turned his seat away so that he wouldn't be facing Wade anymore.

 

Remembering that the trainee is still somehow kind of a kid. (He's twenty and is very much capable of taking care of himself, and is legally an adult, but Wade is still going to call him a kid.) Wade winces at the amount of stress he's under. He could see a very exhausted Underwood in his desk, forgetting to eat dinner, or forgetting to leave the room to take a leak. Falling asleep in his desk and heading home at who knows o’clock. 

 

His frown still in his face, he speaks softly. “You should get some rest. I'll take care of this.”

 

There was a long pause, and then it came with the trainee’s offended voice. “You really think I'd sleep knowing people there might be dying?”

 

Wade winced, back to having his face down at the floor of the jet again. “I didn't think that through, sorry,” He apologized helplessly. “I just,” He sighed. “I just wanted one less person involved in this.”

 

At the other end, Wade heard him sighing, like he understood Wade's end. “Fine, okay, I get you, but I'm not sitting this one out, and you can't stop me.”

 

Exasperated and tired, Wade doesn't fight him on this particular subject, he concedes, but with little conditions. He agrees to not exclude Underwood on his daring venture, but his only condition was that his mic had to stay off.

 

Back when Wade had returned to New York, he didn't go to SHIELD to return their gadgets, he only went straight home and discarded the devices littered on his body. By discarded, he meant tuck them inside one of his pouches, just in case something like this happens.

 

So currently, he's strapping his little camera, and his comm back on, but making sure that his mic stayed mute. 

 

While Underwood worked on putting his comm back online, Wade's eyes wandered around the small space of the vehicle nervously.

 

Underwood would witness all the upcoming shit that may or may not happen tonight. By doing so, he'd have this burden on his shoulders that would stay there for a repugnant amount of time.

 

He shook his head. Another weight to someone's shoulder. Another added into his own.

 

He can't stop it. He just has to deal with it.

 

++

 

Wade didn't know what he expected to see when they get there.

 

He expected it to be loud, for the island to be noticeable hundreds of kilometers away, thousands of feet high above the sky. There was an off chance that Kilgrave would be throwing a party, or making all hell break loose, with everyone shooting and killing each other. By his threat on the phone call, that was the worse case scenario Wade had jumped into, causing him to be the frantic mess he was on the whole trip

 

But that wasn't the case here at all. It was quiet.

 

Once the vehicle had landed, the latch opened to grant him a view of the island he'd been so scared to see. Nothing greeted him. Only the harsh wind of December, and the sounds of crickets ringing through the forest.

 

Looking up, he felt a tug at his heart at the sight of the trees he used to catch Peter resting in. 

 

He remembers the first time he approached the dark haired prince here, with his short replies, and his lack of trying to keep eye contact. 

 

And he felt his heart cave in when he remembered the day Peter caught him seconds before he fell to the ground covered in leaves, the day Wade revealed his face and Peter revealed his secret abilities. The day Peter finally took the risk of opening his heart to Wade.

 

It was simple then. If you took out the part where Kilgrave exists, and that Wade wasn't just here for a job. It would've been great. Peter already made it clear that he felt the same, if the circumstances were different, Wade would probably let himself have this.

 

Somewhere, in another universe, him and Peter could be together. Happy, and content. A reality where no one is suffering, where there aren't lies, betrayals, and death, where no one has to hide who they really are, and who they love. A reality where they're just two people, getting to know one another. Falling in love like normal people. 

 

Somewhere out there, there's a reality where it's easy.

 

Sadly, Wade isn't in that reality. He's stuck in one where he's going to spend an eternity watching the people he cares about age and die.

 

If he didn't have people to care about, maybe it wouldn't be as hard as it sounds.

 

“Hey.” Wade felt a pat to his back, watching Clint pass him and exit the vehicle while strapping on his bow and quiver to himself. “We better hurry.”

 

Collecting his thoughts, making sure he head a level head, he gives the agent a simple nod before following him. 

 

The leaves and a couple of twigs underneath his boots crunched and made noises on every step he took. In the quiet night, this was the only sound that passed his ears.

 

His hand itched to grab a katana of his, anything to do with his hand, or just have anything lethal in hand to comfort him, but he knew that if he did, Kilgrave would just use it against him.

 

Arriving at the front of the palace, Clint paused to scan the whole building up and down. Just as eerie as everything else in this island was, the palace had its lights off, only having the few lampposts outside on, and a few windows had their lights on, but for most of the palace, it looked abandoned.

 

Wade thought of the worse.

 

“You go wherever you think Kilgrave is, I'll be somewhere unnoticeable, with my hearing aids off, and my eyes on you. Signal to me if you need help.”

 

Wade's feet stayed planted to the ground, pushing the words out of his throat, with his most convincing tone. “Look, I know you're against killing and all, and I know this is asking a lot… But when it comes to it, can you please just kill him?”

 

Clint still wouldn't look at him as he adjusts a few of his equipments. Wade drops the act, and sighs. “Look, what would SHIELD do to him anyway? Lock him up? Put him in trial? Maybe, but they might only do that for a front. They're SHIELD, they'll most likely use him as a weapon, or whatever SHIELD needs that requires someone like Kilgrave-” Wade stopped mid sentence, giving up. He doesn't have all the time in the world right now. Every second he took is a second closer to someone's death.

 

With a heavy burden in his chest, and with the weight of the deaths he couldn't have stopped in his shoulders. He desperately whispered. “He's killed kids, man, good people. He threatened to make everyone on the hospital jump!”

 

“Alright, alright,” whined Clint. “I was gonna do it anyway.. I was considering it during the ride, and.” The other male lamented, rubbing his closed eyes. “I think it's the right call.”

 

Eyes lit up with gratitude, Wade breathed out. “Thanks.” When Clint made a move to walk towards the side of the palace, Wade stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. “Wait uhm.” His eyes flickered and his words halted, thinking about what he's about to ask the skilled archer. “This guy.. He's been on my list for too long, I uh, wanna be the one to kill him. But. If it looks like I'm in no place to do it myself, please, do feel free to… do the job.”

 

Clint, who was so not used to this part of him, had his brows knitted together, but he gave Wade a nod nonetheless. Gulping, Wade slapped his back, and walked towards the palace.

 

**

 

The eerily quiet and dimly lit palace lured Wade in. He finds his feet being lifted towards it, his eyes inspecting the desolated halls, it was so quiet he could hear every pin drop. 

 

His breathing balanced, he feels his chest hefty, the air around him seemed to contract. He knows something is wrong, he just can't locate it. 

Literally in the corner, he can see a body lying lifeless on a puddle of blood. The mop of dark hair and dark skin made his heart race. Stepping closer, his eyes stung when he identified the body.  _ It's one of the kids.  _ He thought, hastily looking away.

 

Harshly, he rubbed at his eyes. His chest hurt,  his eyes hurt, he can't, he can't think. This was only one kid, one body, he couldn't imagine the countless more.

 

Underwood’s voice cut through, gently telling him to calm down and breathe.

 

He needs to have his head clear. He needs to think straight.

 

He was just about to investigate upstairs when he hears someone crying at the kitchen. Effective immediately he heads towards the sound. He could hear some words being exchanged, but it was too muffled and too quiet for him to understand. 

 

But he knew which voice it belonged to. This turned his nervous strides into a panicked run.

 

He couldn't be too late. 

 

Kilgrave. He's “in love” with Peter, he would never do anything to hurt him, right?

 

There was always no telling with a psychopath.

 

There was no time to think, he needed to get there, fast. He blocked out the trainee's words about it possibly being a trap, but he doesn't care. Even if it might be a trap, Peter's hurt. He's going to take all the chances he's got.

 

His heart lurched at the blood on the floor of the hallway that lead to the kitchen.  _ No.  _ He didn't look at them twice, no, he isn't going to think about who it belongs to and whether they're okay or not. No, he isn't going to think.

 

Reaching the kitchen, he sees Peter sitting on the floor with his head on his hands, his shoulders shaking as a smaller dark skinned boy comforts him.

 

Beside them was another lifeless body.

 

_ Aaron.  _

 

Breathing sharply, Wade took a shaky step forward. Blinking rapidly, Wade opens his mouth to announce his presence, but he wasn't able to get any words out. He was too stunned.

 

What happened here?

 

“Peter.” Saying the name for the first time in days, it felt.. intrusive. It didn't feel right, but at the same time, he missed it. 

 

The man in question sniffled, lifting his head and without facing him, he asked, his voice weak and throaty. He'd cried too much. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

Miles didn't take his hand off of Peter's back as he glares at Wade with his red tired puffy eyes. Wade knows he deserves it, but he can't help but be hurt by it.

 

He shouldn't have left. He knew what Kilgrave was capable of, but he still left.

 

“I…” He started, but he couldn't find any words, nor could he think of what to say next. No words could make up for the chaos that Kilgrave had created, nor were there any words that he could say that would make it feel any less painful. 

 

He settled with an apology. “I'm sorry.”  _ sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me to be. I'm sorry for not ending it when I had multiple chances. I'm sorry for causing you pain. I'm sorry I can't do anything to make it stop. _

 

Peter didn't say anything, he only cried a little more.

 

He couldn't stand seeing Peter like this, he couldn't stand any of this. Wade wanted to leave the room and find Kilgrave and just fucking end this. He was about to. But abruptly, Peter was wiping away his tears and was on his feet.

 

The prince stood, his face red, his hands trembling. Some parts of his face, his hands, and his clothes had blood on them, but the thing that Wade noticed the most, was the anger in his eyes.

 

Wade knows that look, he's seen those eyes in the mirror for years.

 

The wrath in his eyes were so visible that Miles became wary of it, placing a hesitant hand on the prince's arm. “Peter?”

 

Again, he didn't utter a word, he only set to exit the kitchen. Before walking past him, Wade took a hold of his arm. “No.” Wade rasped, using extra force with stopping Peter when he didn't seem to stop.

 

Peter breathed heavily, still not making eye contact. “Let me go.”

 

“I'm not letting you do this.”

 

“I am not taking orders from you, let me go.” He raised his voice, lifting his chin to look Wade in the eye for the first time that night. He breathed heavily, his jaw set, he looked like he was seconds away from either sprinting out of the room and kill Kilgrave with his hands or burst out crying.

 

When Wade still would not let him go, his lip wavered a bit, he turned his head the other way around, taking control of his expression before Wade caught it. “H-He’s,” He sniffled, tears running down his face, Wade loosened his grip. He opened his mouth to say something but came up empty. More tears left his eyes and he kept hiccupping, before he gave up, slightly shaking his head, and weakly stating, with his eyes almost closing. “H-He’s made my life a living hell.”

 

Wade's hand wasn't even gripping anymore, his hand was just there, he wanted it to be any sort of comfort, he wanted to ease the pain that the younger man is feeling. He wanted. He wanted it to stop. Yet he's here, he's just standing here.

 

He knows what Peter is going through, he's felt it way too many times he's surprised that he still managed to get out of that route.

 

“I know you think that once you kill him it'll make you feel better, but it won't. It'll only make you feel worse, trust me.”

 

He couldn't let Peter do this to himself. Peter has a pure heart, once he goes through with this, when the realisation of actually  _ killing  _ someone dawns on him... He might lose himself.

 

Peter shook his head, his stare deadly cold. “Back off.” He harshly ripped his arm off of Wade's hold. “I don't want to hurt you.” 

 

Wade thought to reason first, before he settled to anything that would end in violence. Holding his hands out in front of him, gesturing his intentions; it wasn't to hurt him, he wanted Peter to hear him. He hesitated. “I… I was sent here for a job, okay? The whole reason why I was here, was so that  _ I  _ could kill him. I'll do it, not you.”

 

But Peter wasn't listening.

 

And Wade was growing desperate. “Please. Don't.  This is me  _ begging.  _ No backsies, no do overs. Walk away… Let me do this for you.”

 

Peter looked like he was getting ready to fight Wade. “I'm sorry, Wade.”

 

The older man breathes deeply. “Yeah. Samesies.”

 

**

 

“Out of everyone on earth, I thought  _ you'd  _ understand, Wade!”

 

_ Crack  _

 

Yup, that was his bones. At this point he's lost count on how many bones he's broken. The wall he's hit cracked, and he fell to the floor with a grunt. 

 

Peter was so heated that he'd been using his super strength on Wade. Wade doesn't mind all that much, if Peter isn't out there, it's better. Any second now Clint could be taking his shot. 

 

Which Wade  _ hopes  _ he's working on or so help him, god.

 

Grunting, Wade lifted himself with his upper limbs quivering. “I  _ do  _ understand! I'm a PhD in crap decisions! But you're not listening to what I'm saying so now I'm underlining it with punches.” Standing on his feet, he lifted his mask a bit to wipe the blood off of his mouth, groaning. “You are sucking the most than anyone has ever sucked right now!”

 

“What sucks the most is being lectured about _ not killing  _ by a  _ killer _ !”

 

“Hey! I've changed!” He exclaimed, ducking from a coming punch. He reached for his gun, because fuck it, but Peter webbed his gun out of his hand and threw it behind him.

 

“Just go and let me finish this myself!” His breath was knocked out of his lungs when Peter fucking kicked him in the stomach, causing him to fall at least ten feet back and into another wall,  _ again.  _ “Stay down!”

 

Staying down will be the only thing Wade is going to do because he's sure he's cracked almost all of his ribs.

 

_ They'll heal _

 

Yes, they will, but they'll still hurt, and it's going to take a while.

 

A cough took him by surprise, whimpering as he tries to keep his knees from falling to the ground. “Dude... please.. stop.” 

 

Seeing his state, the brunet stayed where he stood. Conflicted as he tries to explain what's been bothering him. “No matter what I do. No matter how hard I fight… There's always an  _ emptiness,  _ Wade.” He panted, looking up from his bloodied hands. “I didn't know what it was before, but now, I finally do.” 

 

Stifling a snivel, he staggered closer, proceeding. “There's a… hole in me. I thought that if I kept fighting, it would shrink… But it's not working anymore.” 

 

Torn between knocking him out just to get him to stop, and comforting him, Wade just looked at the younger man, while holding onto his abdomen, as if cradling it would make it heal faster. “I know a lot about holes and what they should and should not be filled with…” He inclined his head to the side, to get Peter's eyes on him. “But  _ murder…  _ even  _ righteous, justice-fueled murder…  _ It's not going to help. It's going to rip you apart.”

 

Quickly looking away, Peter turned his back on Wade. “I know. I said I was going to finish it, Wade. I'm finishing  _ all of it. _ ”

 

And then he was walking away.

 

_ No. _

 

Attempting to silence his wailing, he propelled himself off of the wall, grabbing Peter by the back and then shoving him to the wall by his shoulders. “Listen to yourself! Tell me you see it! Tell me you realise what happens if you kill this psycho and--”

 

He was cut off by Peter hustling him, Wade still tried to get up. That is until Peter webbed him to the floor, and then adding  _ another  _ layer of webbing just so he would have a hard time cutting through it. 

 

Breathing evenly, Wade gave up, dropping his head to the ground, he could hear Peter leaving. “One question before you go.” He waited for the sound of Peter halting before he continued. “After you do the deed… How are you going to live with yourself?”

 

The prince didn't provide him with an answer. He just ran off.

 

“Goddamn it,” He sighed, moving his hand around to reach his pocket knife.

 

“I got it.” Miles appeared out of nowhere, avoiding all the broken concrete on the floor, reaching Wade with a knife and cutting through the webs. 

 

Slumping his head back down on the ground, he exhaled. “Thanks.”

 

Cutting the webs quickly, Miles helped him up. “You have to stop him, please.”

 

“I will.”

 

Wade knows that there's no stopping Peter. So he'll just have to beat him to it.

 

**

 

Wade guesses that getting stuck under two layers of webbing and trying to get out of it (even with the help of Miles) bought a certain prince enough time to get away.

 

Exiting the palace, and into the docks, there he saw at least half of the servants and the kids there, just standing idly.

 

That was until Kilgrave came into view with a few other servants following him, carrying a few luggages and then loading them into the yacht.

 

He was going to leave.

 

Kilgrave stopped when he saw Wade at the other end. He was pretty sure he  _ looked  _ unarmed, so it really ruffled his jimmies when Kilgrave yelled “Start killing each other!”

 

There were no taunts, there were no malicious smiles with the intent to  _ hurt  _ behind it, there was nothing close to paying him even the littlest bit of attention. 

 

And this small detail shouldn't be taken lightly. 

 

Kilgrave didn't want Wade getting closer. He wanted this night up and over with. This was different from when they were just at the phone not long ago. Something changed. Something scared him off. Wade can only guess what drove the psychopath into fleeing.

 

Not even bothering to curse, he ran straight away to Bella who had been pushed to the ground by a bulky Teddy, and was being beaten to the face with his bloodied knuckles. Bella wasn't completely helpless and avoided dying right in front of Wade's eyes for she had used one of her crutches to hit Teddy in the face with it.

 

He was just about to step in and try _ anything _ to stop them, but two strides in, Kate has plunged a knife to his shoulder blade, resulting in him howling in shock, and in pain.

 

Turning to the kid, even though he can't die, those stabbing still immensely hurt, and fuck was she fast with the stabbing. One second she's stabbing his neck, next she's aiming to slit his throat.

 

Predictably, the dark haired girl has shoved her knife by the side of his neck. “Ow!” He cried, biting his tongue as he wraps his one arm around her throat, and immobilises her. She's only unconscious,  _ she'll be fine _ , he repeats this inside his head.

 

Once he thought that was done and over with, he was proved wrong when Billy punches him in the jaw. He groans, palming his cheek. “Oh come on.”

 

This was gonna be a long night. As he takes the kid's punches, he looks up to where Clint might possibly be, and hopes he takes the shot pretty soon before someone gets seriously injured.

 

While immobilising some of the people that were trying to kill each other, he was thinking about a signal he could come up with since Clint was still not taking the goddamn shot. 

 

Seeing Eli’s head fall to the concrete ground so hard he passed out was the last straw. Wade had a flare, if he fired it, surely Clint would take the fucking hint already.

 

《Wade, listen to me!》He was so caught up in trying to save everyone that he had tuned the trainee out. As he waited for Underwood to continue (since he couldn't reply back anyway) he ran towards Eli.《I-I can't contact Clint! I think someone took him!》

 

Oh fuck him. Of course the reason why Clint’s still not done it is because something or someone must've gotten to him first.

 

Oh hell now everything really has gone to shit. 

 

Enough of this. Enough of all of this. He's going to end this tonight.

 

After immobilising the kid that hurt Eli, Wade ran towards Kilgrave whose head looked seconds away from blowing up.

 

That was when he heard it. He heard the word ‘stop’ from Kilgrave and that was when his feet had stopped running.

 

Approximately fifteen feet away from Kilgrave himself, Wade saw he looked a little… purple? There were these purple veins on the side of his face, and his neck. Not to mention, his skin looked a lighter shade of purple, what the is this man on?

 

Oh yeah, the serum that his dad had been giving him recently, wonderful.

 

But still, no, Wade wasn't under any control. No matter how strong Kilgrave’s power may be, nothing and no one will  _ ever  _ get inside his brain.

 

The thing that made him stop running was Underwood’s words finally getting to him, and he just saw this as an opportunity to do something. To get near Kilgrave.

 

Apparently, that word was loud and powerful enough to stop everybody from beating each other to death. Everyone stopped, and was left standing and panting, waiting for Kilgrave’s next command.

 

But what made Wade's blood run cold, was the sight of Peter standing merely a few feet from him, staring at the man who he'd been meaning to kill.

 

And the man stared back.

 

At first, Kilgrave didn't believe that Peter was under his control, endlessly tormenting the shaken prince.

 

The sight of Peter trembling in his skin right before him tore him right at the gut. It took everything in him to not kill that lunatic, not when he was holding Gwen in his arms.

 

He was taunting Peter about breaking Gwen apart, about killing her from the inside. The  _ words  _ he used were oh so horrible, Wade could barely contain himself.

 

When Kilgrave spoke about leaving with Gwen, and that if Peter were to ever come anywhere near them, Gwen would kill herself, Peter started to cry silently.

 

He didn't quiver, he didn't sob loudly, he didn't protest, he  _ couldn't, _ tears were just pouring out of his eyes, and his face was depleted of any emotion.

 

It was over.

 

That was when Kilgrave came into the realisation that Peter definitely was under his control. (Wade still believes that he's playing.) He dropped Gwen and lumbered to Peter with incredulity in his face.

 

His mouth slightly agape, he held Peter's face in his hand, stumbling over his words about how he never wanted to hurt the prince, how things would be better from now on, some manipulative words here here and there, and a bunch of other things an abusive person would say to their partner.

 

“Let's start with a smile.” The prince smiled without a second thought, the smile wide enough to convince the madman. Kilgrave was pleased, unable to smile himself, then leaning in to say. “Tell me that you love me.

 

Tilting his head to the side, Peter searches for Gwen’s eyes at a leisurely pace, like he had all the time in the world, and with a benign resonance, he gracefully let three words slip from his lips. “I love you.”

 

Not even a second after passed, his vigorous hand had found its way around Kilgrave’s neck, squeezing. His feet weren't even touching the floor anymore, Peter was completely lifting him up by his neck.

 

Wade wasn't standing that far away, but from this distance, he could see the prince's hand twitch unendingly. 

 

For the first time since meeting Kilgrave, Wade saw how  _ petrified  _ he was. He must've seen the anger in Peter's eyes, this scared him so much that he couldn't even move, perform proper sentences, nor order someone to save him, nothing. Peter's eyes must've showed him all the wrongs he'd done and the pain he's inflicted.

 

It was about to happen. Peter's hand was turning white, and the trembling of his hand worsened. He's going to snap Kilgrave’s neck, and he's going to spend years feeling bad for it, this night is going to ruin his life.

 

Moving quickly than he ever did in his entire life, Wade brought out a gun, striding next to Kilgrave and blew his brains out.

 

The sound surprised everyone, they all flinched, and Peter dropped the body to the ground in shock.

 

The prince's eyes were the size of the moon, some blood spluttered to him and Wade felt bad that he didn't even at least take Kilgrave out of his hold before doing it. (As if Peter's hold would have let that happen.)

 

Everyone else around them were getting up and was checking on each other, he would check on Peter, but he feels the boy is too stunned (and maybe a little pissed at him) for any sort of contact from him.

 

Peter finally looks up from the dead body and at him, at Wade and he… feels like he should say something but he really doesn't know what he should be saying at this point. 

 

Looking away, Wade's eyes raked through the few people who was just a second ago trying to kill each other, no one looks dead, so, he thinks he shouldn't do anything more.

 

Clint’s comm came back online. “Guessing you did it.”

 

Turning away from the mess he'd left, he replies. “What happened to you?! I waited a decade!”

 

“Well I apologize for taking my hearing aids off, and not noticing that someone knocked me out tied me up, and threatened to hurt themselves if I tried anything!” There was a pause and a suspire. “I knew you would've handled it anyway.” He added quietly. “You did great, man.” It was so quiet and quick that Wade wouldn't have heard it.

 

Wade would rather tear his arm out, cook it, eat it, than admit that he felt  _ good  _ when he heard Clint say that. 

 

Deciding not to respond to that last bit, he told Clint to let Underwood know that everything was under control and that he should get some rest. And that Clint himself should come over and help with the damages. Clint complained for a total of two minutes before conceding. 

 

Sighing, he turned off his camera, and thought to console Peter as best as he can, given their last conversation, he doesn't think Peter needs that from him right now, but he'll work on it.

 

Looking over to where Peter was, Wade wasn't surprised to not see his worn out form anymore.If Peter doesn't want anyone bothering him, Wade shouldn't push it. 

 

Settling to help those who do need him, Wade decided to help clean up.

 

Whether it be to help clean up the rubble scattered every where Peter threw him at, or help those who've been injured, he'll do anything.

 

**

 

As the steps of the stairs lessened, and the top of the palace came more into his view, he grew nervous.

 

What was he supposed to do here? Comfort? He has never been good at that, just hours back he made a girl who was about to take her own life cry harder than she already was. To say goodbye? He was also not good at that, he didn't even get to say goodbye the first time he left the island. Even if he tried, would Peter even want to talk to him? To see him? Be anywhere near him-

 

_ Stop _

 

This. Him over thinking everything has always been the root of all of his problems. Sometimes he just has to wing it.

 

That wasn't comforting because he's also tried to “wing” almost everything and they all end up slapping him in the face for it.

 

The first time around, he didn't get to say goodbye. Now, whether Peter hates him or not, he is going to do it, or he might regret it forever.

 

His life has already been shitty enough, what more does he have to lose? 

 

However this conversation ends, at least, in his heart, he knew he got to say goodbye. He doesn't want to spend an eternity thinking about the things he wished he should've done.

 

With his heart full of determination, and with it pounding hard, and alive in his chest, he sits beside the now clean prince and breathes.

 

Wade can only imagine how Peter cleaned himself up. His eyes and skin looked a little red his hair was damp, and he had new pair of clothes on. 

 

He himself had been helping with cleaning up for the past hour or so, it did give Peter enough time to clean up.

 

Maybe seeing all the blood in there made him agitated. What is he thinking, of course it did. Any sane person who's very well against killing would be like that. They'd read how Peter did, they'd feel how Peter is feeling right now.

 

The other male didn't say anything, his eyes remained thoughtful and distant, his shoulders slumped, but his posture was tense. His brows were relaxed and the same went to his lips.

 

He was tensed. He was confused. He was relieved.

 

In his moment of weakness, he appeared so raw and open, Wade could read every emotion he felt in that second.

 

It made Wade look away.

 

The air around them wasn't suffocating, it wasn't uncomfortable. Their unspoken words were hanging in the space between them. Hesitant voices shoved down. Untouched hands, waiting, trembling.

 

It's four in the morning, everyone hurt was patched up, and those who didn't make it have been… taken care of. Gwen told him to take a break after he covered for her for the third time that night. He doesn't think he could relax, not when Peter's still out here.

 

Breathing out slowly, he reached at the back of his head, and ripped off his mask. The soft breeze of the early morning caressed his skin, prompting his eyes to close.

 

It's very unlikely that this conversation would end well, so, he just wanted to breathe in this moment while it wasn't still… disorderly. 

 

“Do people really change?” The younger man asked in a feeble voice, and he still had that faraway look in his dark eyes. “After a certain point are we just…” He lifted his one hand, gesturing, moving it around as he searches for the right words. “Locked into what we are?”

 

Turning his eyes to the calm sea, he takes a second to think.

 

At first he thought Peter was referring to him, but then he thought of how messed up Peter was after almost killing a guy.

 

Peter was talking about Kilgrave, he was still locked in this space of never ending thoughts that only screamed of the words.  _ ‘I almost killed him. I was going to do it.’ ‘Killing him is justified, he was a killer, that was what he was, he was never going to change.’ _

 

This wasn't an easy topic, he should think about his words. But then again, he wasn't the wisest guy in the world.

 

“I'd say definitely that I have no fucking clue.” 

 

He could feel Peter's eyes on his face, and it took everything in him to not stare back, and see the look in his eyes. If he still stared at him with revolt, or if he looked at him like he did on the night they were laid on the iced lake.

 

When he mentally said. “fuck it.” And took a look for himself, he saw that Peter was looking at him with despair in his eyes, as if he wanted Wade to give him an answer. A real one. One that would help stop the pain.

 

Well then Wade guesses it's not his lucky day because he clearly doesn't have an answer. He doesn't know what to say, or what Peter needs to hear, goddamn it.

 

He sighed. 

 

_ I'm sorry. _

 

He looked down at his thighs, his other hand that laid on the concrete rooftop, his hand that was very close to Peter's own. 

 

He wanted to hold the other's hand. Either to comfort himself or Peter, he doesn't know, he just knows it'll soothe someone's pain.

 

“Sometimes the pain goes away -- the  _ hole  _ you felt -- in the space of a few seconds -- and other times it's the size of Jupiter, and I know those metaphors are mixed but I'm not good with existential stuff.”

 

“I almost killed someone to make that pain go away.” He whispered, voice wavering slightly, as if picturing the events of what could have been.

 

“Who  _ hasn't? _ ” He started, he knew exactly how that felt like. Going into questionable lengths just to  _ try  _ to make that pain go away. “I've tried booze, dry goods, punching, gutting, being a happy maniac, killing bad guys…” He stopped before he got more into details. “Only one thing works-”

 

“Friends, people you love, doing good.”

 

Smiling a little, he tilted his head. That was very nice to hear considering the night they just went through, he didn't really expect Peter to say anything like that tonight, not when he was still shaken up. “I was gonna say the booze works, but sure…  _ ‘love’ _ .”

 

It was just a second after he finished that sentence, when Peter straightened up to his knees and had wrapped his arms around Wade's neck. “I know what you did for me. I'll make it up to you. I swear it.” He vowed, his words a little muffled due to his face pressing on Wade's shoulder.

 

Peter's action surprised Wade. After everything that happened, he thought Peter wouldn't want to be anywhere near him, let alone touch him. This level of affection caught Wade off guard, he wasn't sure how to react to it, but, he was thankful that Peter understood what he did, he really was.

 

Not certain with how he's supposed to react to this, he remained still. “Personal space, man, I --” Cutting the act because he was  _ majorly  _ missing out on hugging Peter, he decided to finally just shut the fuck up, and hug the prince back. 

 

Finding himself in Peter's arm gave him a sense of tranquility. It all felt so ethereal with his eyes closed and his arms around a man he's pretty sure he's been in love with but still refuses to admit.

 

Allowing himself to hope that them being together would actually be a good thing is allowing pain in his heart. Something that he doesn't need more of.

 

This was it, he just wanted to give himself the luxury of what it felt like to be held in Peter's arms. He could leave right now and know in his heart that Peter doesn't hate him.

 

It was enough.

 

Opening his eyes to reveal the reality he is in, he gives the both of them two seconds before jesting. “Any time you need hole-filling-”

 

“Aaaand you ruined it.” Tittering, Peter pulled away, revealing a simper, and a glint in his kind eyes, resting back in his previous position.

 

Whenever he found the prince like this, he couldn't help but mirror his expression. Him being happy, (albeit it always being short lived) was just so contagious, he just could not be happy himself.

 

He only yearned to have a little more time. He has so much to explain, so much to talk about.

 

There were hundred things to learn about Peter, such a shame Wade wouldn't get to learn the few more left to uncover.

 

The universe proved itself to hate Wade's guts again, because his phone rang. Clint had called only to chastise him about taking too long. Wade caught a glimpse of Peter's resigned face and resisted the urge to sigh childishly. “Five minutes.” He lamented, hanging up.

 

Slipping his phone into his pockets, he couldn't help his hands from fidgeting with each other, as he sets the words he's about to say in front of him.

 

It's easy.

 

And yet he couldn't do it.

 

He wanted Peter to tell him to leave, he wanted Peter to be the one who says it because he doesn't know how to. Hell if Peter were to tell him to get lost, he'd be more than happy to hear it.

 

_ Thank you for what you did for me, I won't forget it.  _ That was what Wade wanted to hear, and have it followed with Peter leaving, ‘squirt’ his webs and fly off into the sunrise. 

 

Instead.

 

“How much of it was a  _ real _ , Wade?”

 

He should have left when he had the chance.

 

Avoiding the prince's gaze, he answers truthfully. “Only thing that wasn't real was the courting part. I told you, I was just here to find out why people were dying.” Clenching his jaw, he builds up the courage to look at the brunet in the eye. “What I felt… for you, and for everyone, was real.” Breaking the stare, he clears his throat. “Whether you believe that or not, I know, in my heart, that I…”  _ Love.  _ “Care deeply about all of you - okay, obviously I care about you differently because - I'm just gonna stop.” Shutting his mouth closed, his hands seized the concrete beneath his palms, and his eyes faraway.

 

A minute or two passed, he hadn't been counting, he was too far into his overanalyzed thoughts, he was panicking, letting the person he cares about know about how he feels still feels very strange for him. It's still not in his comfort zone, but what else does he have to lose, he's never going to see the prince ever again anyway.

 

Deciding that yes, he had done all that he could, he doesn't have any reason to linger and waste (Clint’s) everyone's time, he should leave now.

 

Except Peter had positioned his hand on top of Wade's, his fingers grasping his gloved hand firmly.

 

Observing his hand for himself, his eyes traveled up to amber eyes, and then to soft lips, that uttered the words. “I believe you.” One second his eyes were tender and warm hearted, and the second his eyes were full of mirth and glee. “You weren't a great actor yourself.”

 

Tensing. “Erm? What?” His body was unyielding even under Peter's warm touch and benevolent eyes.

 

“Of course I figured it out.” The prince's amusement slowly fading as he recollects a memory, still, he didn't remove his hand from Wade's. “I always wondered when you were going to tell me… I thought you'd do it when I came after you at the lake. Before, or after we kissed.” He stared at their hands longingly, as Wade tries to calm his heart down. “But I guess we both just didn't want to ruin that moment, huh?”

 

It's like Peter read his thoughts. They were both very opposed to the idea of letting that moment end. Wade agreed silently, pushing down his want to hold Peter's hand back. It was just  _ begging  _ for him.

 

Glacial gust ran through Peter's hair softly, dark strands hitting his face, which he didn't seem to mind at all. At any given second, Wade's phone would be booming, Clint yelling at him to get his ass back on the jet, so they could finally leave, and... and Wade just wasn't ready for that.

 

If he could just stop the time, remain at this moment forever.

 

Maybe he could hit up some super genius, who's… most probably after world domination…yeah, no.

 

“You weren't all that bad, Wade.” His hushed voice overcame Wade's loud thoughts, bringing him back to the reality that he lives in, reminding him of what the prince is offering him. The doe eyed boy's slender fingers toyed with Wade's, offering composure, but also revealing the slightest of nerves. “I know you think I probably hate you. But, I don't, I don't think I ever could. I know what you did, and I understand, we can talk about it, if you want, if you decide to stay.”

 

Wade looked at him with surprise in his eyes. For a second he thought about grabbing for his mask, because he incredibly felt vulnerable, and self conscious, but the love in Peter's eyes made him still.

 

Peter looked away first with the corner of his lips tilting up into a smile, surprising Wade when he rested his head on Wade's shoulder. “These people, you became a part of their lives.. a part of mine.” The last bit was so quiet it was hushed.

 

Finally thinking the time was right, Wade brought their hands to his lap, looking down at it, firmly grasping it with two hands.

 

“I don't want anyone else.”

 

The scarred man almost struggled for air, he choked back everything he's strongly feeling, forcing his face to remain as emotionless as possible. Peter saying this means that he doesn't want any other suitor, he wants Wade, he doesn't want anyone else.

 

When he hasn't said anything in almost five minutes, Peter must've thought that his feelings weren't reciprocated, for he had lowered his head, and started stammering. “I-I know things didn't start great between us, a -” he shook his head. “We can start over.”

 

“I'd love that.” He rushed in, he didn't want Peter to think that he doesn't want the same. He knows that he doesn't deserve it, but that was the only thing he's ever wanted.

 

A second chance.

 

And damn it all to hell if Wade wasn't going to give it everything he's got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally peter was gonna be the one to kill kilgrave, but then I suddenly thought "BUT!!! HE'S AGAINST KILLING HE'D NEVER DO IT THAT'D BE SO OOC" so I asked my friend and she helped me figure this out(I also took some stuff from the spideypool comics) so! tysm ria!! ik you won't be reading this but hey
> 
> so yeah that's concluded, but I also kind of left it an open ending in some way?? like Underwood, ellie and everyone, whatever happens next to all of them is up for you to decide. but I'd love to hear what you think!!
> 
> Lol this fic should've been called"48 times Wade tried to kill kilgrave and one time he finally did" lmao this is the most anticlimactic spideypool fic to ever exist I'm sorry
> 
> that was one long ass year, I can't believe this took me so long. TYSM FOR READING THROUGH ALL OF THIS ILYSM. say hi on my twitter I LOVE MAKING FRIENDS: @/heatsLgnature


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